coming out

[Argonautica1]

does any one have any tips about coming out to friends and parents. i am gay and certain people know but i jsut want to be able to be myself now. :?

[kolte]

just come out and say it. I know its hard, but somtimes we have to do things that are scary.

[Argonautica1]

thanks, ive jsut been really confused lately about it.

[NorwegianBoy]

I agree, I think it's easier if you do it now than if you wait. Just get it overwith. We live in 2005, the people who dislike you because of that can go screw themselves...

[redcar]

i think you need to be very careful about coming out.

We live in 2005, the people who dislike you because of that can go screw themselves...

its not as simple as that. you ahve to very careful about coming out.like if you come out too young your life could be made hell in school. teens are the worse. all i am saying is be careful who you tell.

[LilJade92]

i think you should wait a wile your views may change soon and if you tell and change your mind you will have to tell everyone agin

[Argonautica1]

ive already gotten some crap from people who know and/or assume that im gay. why do you guys think people are so unaccepting towards gays? would you be uncomfortable if ur friend was gay?

[redcar]

people are unaccepting of gays for two reasons i think, one its different, people dont like things that are different to the norm. and secondly this is to do with guys, str8 guys i feel a bit insecure around gay guys, now that doesnt go for all guys dont get me wrong but unfortunatly thats the way it is.

and for you r second question i would be fine around a friend that was gay but i am biased being gay myself.

[[email protected]//]

yeah it may seem hard but u need to come out if u want to be free and be urself

[redcar]

yeah it may seem hard but u need to come out if u want to be free and be urself

not necessarily. i would strongly advise against coming out while you are still in school, unless you are confident in yourself to do so, because people could make your life a living hell, spoil you education make you depressed.

[[email protected]//]

yeah i forgot about that..if u know people at school who call kids gay for fun or hate gays..i wouldnt advise telling them

[kolte]

comming out is not somthing to take on lightly. you really need to wait untill you are older to see if thats a desision that you really wanna make, becasue you never know, adolesence has a way of changing our minds allot.

[NorwegianBoy]

We live in 2005, the people who dislike you because of that can go screw themselves...

its not as simple as that. you ahve to very careful about coming out.like if you come out too young your life could be made hell in school. teens are the worse. all i am saying is be careful who you tell.

I know it's not simple. But most people at age 17 accept that others are gay. More than 20 % of all people are bi or gay, so it's common. I think it's better to do it now. And (I know this sounds difficult) try to keep it away from the people at your school, except for the ones you really trust. Your parents don't have any interest in telling your classmates either.

[xxhunnibunnixx]

im a lez n idnt care i jus wish i culd find someone to talk like lezzes do to each ova in dirty ways im so horney but no girls seem to b lezzes

[redcar]

We live in 2005, the people who dislike you because of that can go screw themselves...

its not as simple as that. you ahve to very careful about coming out.like if you come out too young your life could be made hell in school. teens are the worse. all i am saying is be careful who you tell.

I know it's not simple. But most people at age 17 accept that others are gay. More than 20 % of all people are bi or gay, so it's common. I think it's better to do it now. And (I know this sounds difficult) try to keep it away from the people at your school, except for the ones you really trust. Your parents don't have any interest in telling your classmates either.

with all due respect if i came out in my school i would giving such a rough time. i refuse to believe that 17 y/o's would accept someone being gay in their midsts.

im a lez n idnt care i jus wish i culd find someone to talk like lezzes do to each ova in dirty ways im so horney but no girls seem to b lezzes

this is not the place for that carry on.

[NorwegianBoy]

To redcar (I'm not quoting because some mods might get angry :P ):

I live in Norway, and I believe you live in U.S. I think that's why it's different, so I totally understand you. And that's why I said that he should try to keep it away from the people in his class.


And good luck to Argonautica1 :wink:

[redcar]

To redcar (I'm not quoting because some mods might get angry :P ):

I live in Norway, and I believe you live in U.S. I think that's why it's different, so I totally understand you. And that's why I said that he should try to keep it away from the people in his class.


And good luck to Argonautica1 :wink:

i dont think any mod would give out to you for quoting. and i live in ireland.

[serial-thrilla]

i dont think you should. i accept people who are gay but most of the world doesent.

[[email protected]//]

yeah thats also true..many people in the world dont accept gays and u should always check ur pro to see if people in here accept gays

[Argonautica1]

wow al ot of different opinions. thanks alot for your ideas

[Ezz]

hmm, just tell the person you wanted to tell when you are ready to tell the person... as i know, you live in Los Angeles, and i think your country does accept gays aren't?

and finally i wanted to say, 'do you really confirm that you are?'... by the way, i have no offence on gay and lesbian...

[Argonautica1]

yeh i do live in LA. some people do accept gays and other doent. yeh im pretty sure im gay, becuase ive got out with both and jsut never felt an attraction towards girls. i just pretty much like everything there is about guys.

[JackAT]

20% of people are not gay/bi.

http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=BarnaUpdateNarrow&BarnaUpdateID=166 (Under the 'Loudest Voices Represent Small Niches' part)

http://www.avert.org/hsexu1.htm

http://traditionalvalues.org/urban/two.php (They didn't cite any instances of "homosexual activists [claiming] that 10% of all humans are homosexual" and I've never heard them do such things, but whatever.)

I didn't read through the whole article, but from what I've read in other articles, 2-3% of the population is homosexual. I don't know about bisexual. I assume you got 20% by doubling the assumed 10% because of bi people. In any case, I think that there are probably even fewer bi-sexuals than there are homosexuals.

[Argonautica1]

wow, your numbers are quite confusing

[JackAT]

What's confusing? Which numbers? My numbers or the ones on the sites I provided?

I think I know what part is confusing. Perhaps I didn't word it clearly enough.

"I assume you got 20% by doubling the assumed 10% because of bi people. In any case, I think that there are probably even fewer bi-sexuals than there are homosexuals."

If this is the part that's confusing to you, I guess I don't blame you. I'll attempt to explain: The person I made this post in response to stated that 20% of a given, random population is either bi-sexual or homosexual. The above quote from my post is an attempt to understand how that person came up with that number. It is a common misconception that 10% of the population is homosexual. I figured that this person most likely assumed that if 10% of people are homosexual, then 10% of people are bisexual. 10% + 10% = 20%. That's what I think his logic is in coming up with that number. That's all basically moot anyways, but I hope I cleared things up.

My last sentence is regarding my opinion that even if the original 10% number is true, you couldn't simply double it to account for bi-sexual people, because there are even fewer bisexual people than there are homosexual people. If I had to guess without any scientific data to go by, I'd guess less than half of the amount of people that are homosexual are bi-sexual.


Edit: I just wanted to point out in case there was anyone who didn't quite catch on to this that the poll in this thread cannot really be taken as accurate (not that any of them can, but especially not this one). I say this because obviously there is obviously a greater rate of people who are not strictly heterosexual and considering the nature of this forum, there are probably many who are curious. This forum's membership is simply not an accurate sample of a given population.

[JackAT]

Also, it was indicated that all of America is very accepting of homosexuals, but that's not necessarily true. As several people pointed out, this is especially the case when considering youths.

Los Angeles is in California which is easily one of the most liberal (considered friendly to alternative lifestyles because of more secular views) states in the Union, so it would be easy to assume that one could come out there and be accepted. But assumptions can hurt and hurt bad. The south is typically thought of as much more conservative and by stereotype would be much quicker to reject homosexuality. Where I live, acceptance could easily vary from school to school.

While CA is certainly very liberal, that's only as far as politics go, and it is reflective of the population there, because the politicians didn't vote themselves in. But it only reflects those old enough to vote and while some kids take after their parents, not all do.

In any case, some kids are just plain cruel. If they can have a laugh at your expense, they just might do that. So I think it depends a lot on what your area's like. I think another major factor is your current status, though.


For me, I don't give about what anyone thinks of me, except for myself. As long as I'm happy with me, I'm happy. I haven't come out, but I'm pretty sure it's not because I'm worried about what people would think of me. I think it's mostly because I don't feel like it's right to go around telling people. Straight guys and girls don't come up to me and say, "Hey, man. I'm straight." That's not to say I think it's wrong to come out though. I simply feel that I don't have sufficient motive to do so.

The only reservations I have about coming out is physical harm to me and I really don't feel like I need to worry about that for a myriad of reasons. The other reason is (I know this sounds stupid and probably even a little phony, but it's true) I'm just a tiny bit paranoid about 'big brother.'

[serial-thrilla]

wow, your numbers are quite confusing thats because theyre wrong

[JackAT]

Well, I cited three apparently reliable sources, serial-thrilla. Unless you can discredit them with some other sources or are a reliable source yourself, it seems they're quite right.

[Argonautica1]

JackAt how old are you?

[JackAT]

I am 18 years old. Why do you ask?

[Argonautica1]

just curiouis becuase u seem to have sense of what u are talking about. almost liek reading a medical journal, which isnt bad it s a very imformative thing. but thansk for your imformation and opinion it has helped me.

[JackAT]

Ah, I see. I appreciate the comments and I'm glad my words could be of use to you.

[Kev*]

i agree wiv everythingt that redcar sez

[latedeveloper313]

I think in an ideal world you should be able to come out and nobody would dislike you for it but i know that if someone comes out as gay in my school ( scotland) then they are ridiculed and bullied so i'd be VERY carefull who you choose to tell, if anyone!