Sand_Man
November 25th, 2005, 09:43 PM
well this is my first post and all i know...but i REALLY got this off my chest...iv only told my best bud and havent evan told him the full story
the story:
ever since i was littla i would hang out with guys who are 3-4 years older then me...at first it dident really matter we were kids. But then they hit grade 8ish. i was in grade 5 and i was over at a friends house and they dicided to light a dubie...so i knew what it was i asked if i can have a drag(trying to look cool) and they said no for like 20 mins on there 2 or 3erd they finally let me have a puff...but that was stricly it. well i did it anouther 2 or 3 times in grade 5. grade 6 i ended up switching schools and my best bud moved so i dident hang out with him much. in grade 7 he moved bak onto the block at this point hes in grade 10 and i started doing weed with him TONS.and driking staying out late and doing everything usally a grade 10 does. it ended up screwing up my judo(i was number 1 for my weight class and my age) and i quite judo beeing out of shape and such. it screwed my marks up like mad. then my parents found him rolling. well i havent seen him since. i started up judo agin and now in wrestling. and in grade 9. witch means im having hardcore cravings...i smell it and i feel like jumping the kid and smoking it. but i hold myself back and such and i think the cravings are almost done. but i talked to my old buddy a few weeks bak and we started talking or watever...then it hit me. im NEVER gonna see this guy agin. i was friends with him for 8 going on 9 years when i wasent aloud to see him anymore. now im getting bad grades and getting thretnd to get kiked off the wrestling team.
whenever i get in a fight with my parents now i cant help to think of the times i got in fights with them back when i was in grade 7... i usally run to my room and think of doig the deed(u know i what i mean). i usally think of the things that would happend and how much everyone would feel if i did. ive yet to tell ANYONE this. im trying right now to get over it and see that people acsully care for me buts it kinda hard in high school as a niner and people calling u gay(i got nutting agsent gays) becuse u go to an all guys school and getting 9nerd litally all the time.
sry if i wasted any of ur time...i just needed to egt it off my chest and i dont know anyone else to talk to
the story:
ever since i was littla i would hang out with guys who are 3-4 years older then me...at first it dident really matter we were kids. But then they hit grade 8ish. i was in grade 5 and i was over at a friends house and they dicided to light a dubie...so i knew what it was i asked if i can have a drag(trying to look cool) and they said no for like 20 mins on there 2 or 3erd they finally let me have a puff...but that was stricly it. well i did it anouther 2 or 3 times in grade 5. grade 6 i ended up switching schools and my best bud moved so i dident hang out with him much. in grade 7 he moved bak onto the block at this point hes in grade 10 and i started doing weed with him TONS.and driking staying out late and doing everything usally a grade 10 does. it ended up screwing up my judo(i was number 1 for my weight class and my age) and i quite judo beeing out of shape and such. it screwed my marks up like mad. then my parents found him rolling. well i havent seen him since. i started up judo agin and now in wrestling. and in grade 9. witch means im having hardcore cravings...i smell it and i feel like jumping the kid and smoking it. but i hold myself back and such and i think the cravings are almost done. but i talked to my old buddy a few weeks bak and we started talking or watever...then it hit me. im NEVER gonna see this guy agin. i was friends with him for 8 going on 9 years when i wasent aloud to see him anymore. now im getting bad grades and getting thretnd to get kiked off the wrestling team.
whenever i get in a fight with my parents now i cant help to think of the times i got in fights with them back when i was in grade 7... i usally run to my room and think of doig the deed(u know i what i mean). i usally think of the things that would happend and how much everyone would feel if i did. ive yet to tell ANYONE this. im trying right now to get over it and see that people acsully care for me buts it kinda hard in high school as a niner and people calling u gay(i got nutting agsent gays) becuse u go to an all guys school and getting 9nerd litally all the time.
sry if i wasted any of ur time...i just needed to egt it off my chest and i dont know anyone else to talk to