lost and depressed - nothing to go on for

[inthend]

Im almost positive im depressed (even though iv never talked to anyone about it)

it seems ever 2-3 months ill be depressed for 2-3 months during that time nothing makes me happy i feel betrayed by everyone and dont feel like doing anything. Idk if its just chance or what but it seems that once something bad happens other bad things just keep coming up. It keeps getting worse and worse with almost seeming no way out.

eventually ill get to the point where ill be ok and slowly happy but only for a hosrt 2-3 months before im sad againt. ever time i get sad it keeps getting worst than the last time i was sad and i cant stand. Now im at an all time low. i had a great sumer but since school started ive slowly gotten more and more depressed I have nothing to make me happy any more and i dont feel like doing anything im more lazy than ever and feel like i have nothing to live for.

If this is how im suppose to spend the rest of my life more and more depressed each tim idk how much longer i can go on.

Im very suicidal but i cant take my own life. Just thinking that once i do it theres no going back scars me but i really dont want to live any more im not happy and its not worth

I dont want psychiatric help they dont know shit and all they'll give me is pills (which i still cant swallow) and i dont want to live my life and be happy by taking a pill every day that just seems fake to me and i dont want go against nature.

I also dont drink or do drugs becaus i know i would become addicted to something that would make me happy instantly

fyi im jewish (if i can still call my apathetic self that ) so dont try any find christ things on me it doesnt work....

THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO JUST READ ALL OF THAT DESPITE MY HORRIBLE ABILITY TO SPELL AND LACK OF PUNCTUATION

[zoig]

Are you SURE they only recourse for help is pills? is there no one you can talk about this and take your whole life and break it down step by step, it's a lot easier if you look at these things as a group of very small problems instead of one massive issue.

[Avalikia]

It is possible to get out of a true depression without therapy or pills, but it is very, very difficult and not very common. Do you mind if I ask why you're against them?

I know you said you don't want either but, speaking from my own experience, I don't know how I could have gotten through it otherwise. That wasn't exactly easy either; took a couple of tries with both (I tried three different medications and two different psycologists). For a time the medication kept the depression from becoming so strong that I couldn't live my life while the psycologists guided me out of depression and taught me to keep it from coming back, but after several years of this I didn't need the medication anymore and now I only see a therapist if I feel the depression coming back and it's too strong for me to handle on my own.

[Hyper]

If you don't want help you don't really want to help yourself

I can get the part about not wanting pills honestly can I don't like them either and I end up not doing them...... But either you atleast try therapy or do something else to help yourself

Because to me your entire post seems like: I don't want pills, theraphy so tell me the magic cure for depression

I seriously suggest you go to a psych just once people usually don't get randomly depressed with intervals even if their teens

[inthend]

re idurating the not wanting to take pills-
- first i cant swallow them
- i dont want a pill to make me happy it just seems un-natural.

hyper- your right it does seem that way but the thing is whenever im depressed ill try to look at it from other perspectives, ask myself why i feel the way i do, what are my motives
ironicaly i want to be a psychiatrist because when ever im depressed it makes me happier when i help other people with their problems for example after i wrote my first post i went on a walk with one of my good freinds and we mainly talked about her problems and that made me happy for some reason. i guess its the feeling of being needed and being helpful that makes me feel usefull.

when i posted this i was at an all time low. im slowly begging my climb back up from a depression period.

but in about 4-5 months ill be really depressed again. it almost like bi-polar disorder, or just chronic depression that keeps coming back. --- maybe i do need treatment for that but right now as a teenager i dont want that. ill end up having to take pills for the rest of my life when ever im depressed and i dont want that i still have alot in life to look forward to and i dont want to crowd that ... maybe in my middle age when i have little to look forward to ill turn to medicaton but for now i dont want to cloud my life with artifical happyness

THX FOR READING AND ALL YOUR RESPONSES

[Avalikia]

Well, the anti-depressants I took definately didn't make me happy. All they did was make me not depressed - or to be more precise, less depressed. It basically just took the edge off, and neither me nor my psychiatrist wanted to go any further than that because that's all I needed at the time. What ultimately cured my depression was visiting my psycologist regularily until I learned to handle things better. It was a useful tool during a very hard time in my life, but now that it's over and I have other things to draw upon if I get depressed in the future I don't need it at all anymore.

But I don't want to pressure you into looking into medication if you're against it; both of us know that would be a waste of time. But I would like you to consider visiting some sort of counselor, therapist, or psycologist - it sounds like you could really use some help with this. Even with help defeating depression is a lot of hard work, and it's so much easier when you have someone who has been specifically trained to help others with this sort of thing. It sounds like you're very self aware and you have some solid coping strategies already, but if the depression keeps coming back and so severely that you feel suicidal (even though you know you won't act on it) that's a strong indication to me that you need to find some way to do more than you already are.

[byee]

Some good advice here.

You know, it's odd to me that someone would choose to live with the agony of depression rather than swallow a pill or talk with a therapist. It makes no sense to me, other than 1) foolish, misguided pride, and 2) sticking with a lifestyle not so much because it works for you, but rather b/c you're accustomed to it. Either way, what a waste.

The thing with emotional issues is that eventually, everyone gets treatment, usually b/c someone with more sense than themself forces them into it. It's unfortunate that you either aren't self motivated enought here, or that your folks don't recognize your impairment, it certainly sounds serious enough to warrant some attention by an outsider. But, be that as it may, at some point a g/f, a wife, your kids, your boss, the cop that pulls you over and arrests you for DUI, someone will just demand that you take care of yourself and 'force' you to go to the doctor and get better. And you know something? You'll do it. And you'll get better.

So, why wait, why go for all that time missing out on the joy of life, and just get started now. These things typically don't get better on their own.

[inthend]

thank you all very much. your advice has been insightful and i will consider seeing someone. I know i will eventualy do it not sure when though. ( I know better sooner or later) it will happen though but for now im starting to fall out of a depressive state and things are getting better. next time i get depressed i though i will probably want to see someone

[CaptainObvious]

It's good to hear that things are getting better. I would still suggest going and talking to someone though, even if it's a friend or parent. It seems like you have a very strong sense of self, and I get the feeling that you don't necessarily like the idea of something or someone else changing you. I understand that - but even the strongest people in the world confide in somebody, and there's a reason for that: talking works. As you may have discovered from this thread, spilling your feelings to other people can be cathartic and really help you feel better. I'd suggest you do just that, as soon as possible - why wait to feel sad again before seeking someone to talk with?

Whatever you do, good luck. :)

[inthend]

your all right talking will probably help.. it will happen... not sure when but it will

thanks again

[nachtspiegel]

Diabetics have to have insulin. Kidney patients have to take medications and dialysis. People with hypertension usually have to take medicine. Cancer patients have chemotherapy. In reality, very few people live completely "naturally." What's natural is for us to find solutions. There's really nothing wrong with anti-depressants. Good luck, I wish you the best. Stay safe.

[inthend]

ur right.... but sometimes unecesary medicine weekend our imunities. but thats another topic.... idk i dont like the fact of having to take a pill to make me not sad... it pretty much seems like pot to me... something to make me happy/less sad...

[foof1]

Hey! I'm Jewish too!

I will give you five reasons not to commit suicide and hopefully they will help you feel better.

1- You're right' there is no coming back and researchers say that all people who have jumped off the golden gate to kill themselves truly regretted it after they jumped.

2- Stop for a moment and breath(if you're in a house where someone smokes, step outside). Think about how good it fells to have the the air flow in and out of your lungs. It feels good, doesn't it.

3- You still have your whole life ahead of you. Who knows, something great might happen to you. If you work hard in school you'll become successful. I recommend going into either science or engineering because those are jobs that will not be hurt by the economy. You might find and marry someone you truly love and who truly loves you.

4- I consider suicide stealing. If you have friends, which I hope you do, you are stealing their friend away. You would be stealing your parents child away.

5- Your survivors would be in so much pain.

These are 5 reasons to keep on battling life no matter how hard it gets and I hpoe that they help.

[john_gr]

ur right.... but sometimes unecesary medicine weekend our imunities. but thats another topic.... idk i dont like the fact of having to take a pill to make me not sad... it pretty much seems like pot to me... something to make me happy/less sad...ur right dont become another victim of sedate addiction

[Avalikia]

ur right dont become another victim of sedate addiction
No, that is not right. The difference between anti-depressants and pot are very important. First of all, anti-depressants are psycologically addictive. Some people have a hard time getting off of them, but it isn't because of cravings, etc., it's because if you don't take them the depression symptoms can start happening again and it's easier for some people just to dull the feeling. But since I've been off my anti-depressants I've found that the coping strategies I learned in therapy are strong enough to fend off any depression that's threatened, and that should be the ulimate goal of anyone who takes these medicines.

Secondly, anti-depressants are much less physically addictive. If you stop taking anti-depressants suddenly there are some bad symptoms (it seriously screws up your brain chemistry) but if you gradually ease off there are no noticable withdrawal symptoms at all.

Thirdly, you can only get anti-depressants from a doctor, who should be monitoring your situation and tell you when and if you need therapy. (If they just give you the pills and leave it at that, they're not a very good doctor.) That means you have someone to go to for advice and support when you need it. Sometimes an isolated case of depression can be treated with anti-depressants, but if you have recurring depression a psycologist is almost always needed.

And a word about psycologists; they never simply sit there and listen to you complain, no matter what methods they use. Some use techniques that are less direct though; they ask a lot of questions for you to think about and answer, and thereby help you become more self aware and solve your own problems with their guidance. However, there are many different methods for therapy and different kinds of people like each of them. Some methods are much more direct and the psycologist ends up doing most of the talking. Others are more give and take. So you can't write off all psycologists because you didn't like one; I had to try a couple times to find a good match each time circumstances required me to switch. Also, you can't expect to make much progress during the first few sessions, especially the first one. You can't expect someone who doesn't know a great deal about you to know how to help you, can you? So the first few sessions are always a "getting to know you" period which won't be much help but sets the groundwork for more productive sessions.

[inthend]

foof go jews and nice sig. lol

ok i am suicidal but i would never take my own life. that is to say i want to one of my problems i realized is i put alot of loyalty itno friends and more often than not they dont return the loyalty. this makes me feel betrayed sometimes i want them to know how i feel and if i was gone they would understand but i realize the iratinality in that since i wouldnt be here to see the reaction

i will never get to the point where i can physicaly harm myself in any way im to much of a pussy lol so i wont kill myself ever. no need to worry about that

but i dont fear death as much. like i walk through parkinglots alot without looking cuz if they hit me its there fault. im not a dumbass about it though if there goint 20 i wont go ...
***dont worry im suicidal but wont harm myself***


avalikia---

that is my reason for not wanting to take anti dipressents it would be to hard for me to get off of them
i feel that if i can just figure out coping stratagies i wont need them such as the way u dont need them now

like i said earlier i want to be a phycologist. iv begun asking myself to think about my thoughts and consider why i think/feel the way i do. this helps i dont think i need a phycologist because i can kinda of be my own. i know other points of view can help but so far its been working out ok...

again thank you all for readin and responding

[Avalikia]

that is my reason for not wanting to take anti dipressents it would be to hard for me to get off of them
Honestly, it wasn't that hard for me to get off the anti-depressant once I was ready for it. I eased off of them for several weeks until I wasn't taking any, end of story. I had no withdrawal symptoms and my depression didn't return. This is typical of anyone getting off of an anti-depressant, as long as they're ready for it and get off it gradually. It's completely different from pot or any other drug like that. To clarify: I'm not trying to convince you to take anti-depressants, I'm just trying to explain how they're not what you seem to think they are.

i feel that if i can just figure out coping stratagies i wont need them such as the way u dont need them now
I'm sure it would make you feel very capable and independant if you could figure out these coping strategies yourself, but I don't think you understand how hard it is. It took me about five years of visiting a psycologist weekly and about another three years of visiting on an "on call" basis (essentially whenever things got really tough). So it's taken me about eight years of therapy and medication to get to the point where I don't need either. Mind you, I wasn't actually depressed that whole time (the depression only lasted a couple months after I began therapy), but that's how long it took me to get to where I knew the depression wouldn't come back as soon as I stopped. Now I don't know how typical I am in that respect or how my depression compares to yours, but I hope that helps you get an idea of how hard it could be. If it was one isolated case of depression that would be one thing, but recurrent depression is serious business. Statistically speaking the longer a person goes without treatment, the more severe their depression becomes, the harder it is to treat, and the more likely it is that it'll keep coming back even with treatment. You said that your bouts of depression are getting worse and worse; that should be clear to you that whatever you're doing isn't working. And untreated depression shrinks your brain (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Depression/story?id=3885728&page=1).

like i said earlier i want to be a phycologist.
My mom is finishing up her master's degree in social work, which is a very related field. Because of this, I found out that pretty much every psycologist, social worker, or other mental health professional with a master's degree or better is required as part of the program to undergo therapy - just to help them overcome any lingering issues that may interfere with their work in the future...

[inthend]

avalikia ur very insightful and know what your talking about. i appreciate your time and advice. It has helpped open my eyes to the seriosness of this.

I have yet to make a deffinate decision on what to do however i now have no reasons to not go get help now. I know i will eventualy get it. THe only thing left to break is pride and after reading this it is starting to break away i know ill seak help soon ....

THANKS AGAIN ALL OF U !!!

[xGreenling]

I just wanted to say that it's the same for me - depression coming in cycles - and I often feel like it's hopeless and neverending, too. So you're not alone. But you have to keep fighting, and even if you don't have it in you to believe that things will ever get better, you have to keep hoping.

Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and don't get discouraged if you don't get exactly the help you asked for. You'll find what works for you, eventually.

[Halibut]

pills really helped me. as did therapy! actually i was on pills and i was feeling great and then my sister was like depression is all in ones head so i went off my pills because i felt stupied from what she said. my dad noticed, i was short, sad and everything was back. i didnt know why. my dad asked me one day if i was still taking my pills and i said no. i went on them again and im fine again :)

[inthend]

and thats why i dont want them... u need them to be happy.... inother words addicted

[Avalikia]

See here's where you misunderstand. A meth addict needs meth to be happy because their body is used to it; had they never taken the meth they'd be happy without meth. A depressed person needs antidepressants to be happy because otherwise they'd be depressed; had they never taken an antidepressant they'd be miserable. It's a very important difference. A person coming off of antidepressants too early will be unhappy, but it has nothing to do with the medication and everything to do with the fact that they're still depressed. A person coming off meth with be unhappy too, but in their case it has everything to do with the meth.

[inthend]

adn i prefer 'natural happyness' i have benchmarks i quess you could call them things i look forward too some are 6 months out + so as long as a keep those it will sometimes get me through the hard times

[Avalikia]

You know what? I'm getting the impression that you're not truly depressed at all. In a true depression, there is no "natural happiness". Anything that would normally make anyone else happy does nothing for a depressed person. Every once in awhile something might cheer you up to feeling normal very briefly, but it never lasts and those are few and far between. Anything you once enjoyed is no longer enjoyable - it's not a matter of just making yourself go out and have fun because everything you used to think is fun isn't fun anymore. You can't look forward to something six months out because you know it won't make you feel any better, and you're right.

[inthend]

u dont belive me suck it

[Atonement]

u dont belive me suck it

If you are going to ask for advice and help, do not insult the people that try to help you. Warned.

And your question has been answered and this is starting to be counter productive so

:locked: