Try Something Different

[shadow_moses]

So I have never had a boyfriend before, and I currently have a girlfriend who used to think it'd be hilarious if I was gay. Well I found this friend at school that I can act gay in front of her with and I have no problems accepting the fact that at times I find the male body more appealing than a females. Well now that I keep joking around I find myself wanting more than just a man to joke with, and I just would like to try being with a man just to see how much I like it. Cause a year ago I made out with a man, and now me and this new friend occasionally nibble on each others necks and ears.

The problem with me wanting to do more experimenting comes into a few possible problems:
1) My girlfriend feeling uncomfortable with it
2) Telling my girlfriend cause she finds my biexual side to be something to share with everyone
3) If I do, who can I trust to do it with since I'm not sure if my friend feels the same way
4) If he doesn't feel the same way it could get awkward if I try something more

So there it is, comment as you will. Cause my main question is, how do I tell my girlfriend without her telling everyone, and if she is ok with it, then how do I know when I find someone who isn't just joking without it being awkward?

[tbboltz92]

Um the best advice I can give you is maybe tell your girl what you want to do before you do it. Um And if your worried shell tell everybody maybe tell her you want it to keep it under wraps, and if she can't respect that than she she's not for you.

Hope this helps

[Avalikia]

As a general rule, it's not a good idea to discuss your sexuality with someone who you think would react badly; unless you're really, really close to someone it isn't any of their business anyway, and if you're that close to them they shouldn't react too badly. The same goes if you think she'd share it with everyone even if you told her not to; if she's not close enough that she'd respect your desire to not tell the whole world then she has no business knowing.

Also, how open is your relationship with your girlfriend (i.e. would she have a problem with it if you had a relationship another girl too)? Because if she's expecting you to remain faithful to her it would be cheating to start another regardless of gender. Even if you do have an open relationship, it strikes me that it would be a good idea to hold back on experimenting unless and until your relationship with your girlfriend ends, because otherwise things just get needlessly complicated.

[Requin]

To be honest i don't think it would be the best idea to tell your girlfriend at all. Think about it, if you were in her position and your boyfriend tells you one day that he wants to hang around with some gay guys and do whatever.
She would not be pleased, and i it would not only put your relationship with her in a difficult position, but it would effect you both as an individual as well.

Also, before you do anything, it may be best to have a good long think about your sexual and emotional feelings towards genders. You really do need to discover which gender you find attractive. And telling your girlfriend that you want to experiment to find out is in my view not the best option.

I'm not saying do it behind her back...well i am, and i wouldn't normally as relationships are about sharing secrets and other stuff with each other, that's what makes a good relationship. But in this rare case i believe that it may be much better for her and you, to not let her know.

If you didn't understand a word of what i've said, try to understand this: Please think about it before doing anything, your feelings, what you think about your future etc.
And also think about her feelings, if i was her I wouldn't feel to great about that situation, so....just good luck with it anyway. I hope it all works out well for you and her in the end.

[TurboDieselBandit]

I have the exact same issue, except with out the girlfriend, I too want to see what it is like. It is hard for me to give you advice because I am in a very similar situation. But I can tell you to try something small with your friend, something that, should he be straight, you can play off as a joke. See how he reacts and if he likes it then take it and run with it. Remember if they are really your friend they wont be negatively affected by this OR judge you based on your curiosity because most of them deep down inside, deeper than what others think of them, really want to do the same thing bot are bound by what their peers think.

[tbboltz92]

To be honest i don't think it would be the best idea to tell your girlfriend at all. Think about it, if you were in her position and your boyfriend tells you one day that he wants to hang around with some gay guys and do whatever.
She would not be pleased, and i it would not only put your relationship with her in a difficult position, but it would effect you both as an individual as well.

Also, before you do anything, it may be best to have a good long think about your sexual and emotional feelings towards genders. You really do need to discover which gender you find attractive. And telling your girlfriend that you want to experiment to find out is in my view not the best option.

I'm not saying do it behind her back...well i am, and i wouldn't normally as relationships are about sharing secrets and other stuff with each other, that's what makes a good relationship. But in this rare case i believe that it may be much better for her and you, to not let her know.

If you didn't understand a word of what i've said, try to understand this: Please think about it before doing anything, your feelings, what you think about your future etc.
And also think about her feelings, if i was her I wouldn't feel to great about that situation, so....just good luck with it anyway. I hope it all works out well for you and her in the end.

If you dont tell her than that could be cheating. idk your in a very sticky position play it right like everyones told you it could be bad

[byee]

Pink, huh?

Well, I like what Joe says (as always) and Avalalkia. Let me add my $1.95.

In addition to all that's been said, and the possible complications involved here, I'd encourage you to actually spend some time thinking about what you're feeling and why you need to actually experience it to determine whatever it is you want to determine. Sometimes, we use 'curiosity' as an excuse to do things without thinking aboiut the consequences, what happens later. That's good for single celled creatures, but for people, it's always good to give those thoughts and ideas and urges some thought before you give yourself the Ok to actually do them. This is especially important when you're involving other people, they have feelings and needs of their own, which have a way of complicating things.