my fault or his?

[just-me]

i was with my boyfriend the other day and we were sort of locked in his room, he had a truk blocking the door, and we were just cuddling and out of no were he sort of demanded me to give him oral, i didnt say anythin and just did it, but i didnt want to and just didnt have the guts to say no. now he wants me to sleep over his house and has pretty much told me we are goin to have sex. i dont even know what i think anymore. i dont think he even realses hes makeing me feel like crap. i dont know what to do.

sorry if this is the wrong forrum i didnt really know were to put it :/

[Donkey]

It's his fault, not yours. He should ask you before making decisions like this. If you don't like him, and if he is making you feel like crap why not dump him? He sounds like a jerk.

Anyway, if you say no he can be prosecuted for rape if he does have sex with you. Don't do it if you don't want to, say no.

[just-me]

i dont know, my heads a bit fucked up atm, and thinkin about the simplest of things is hard. i think one thig im thinkin is that, hes friends with all my mates and when we began goin out they were all sayin how great it was cos hes such a great person, but i know this is so cliched but its like there is a second side to him, but i dont think my friends would get that and i dont want them to thnk bad of me or think im makin it up. im just so dam confused!!!

[Donkey]

Well you dont have to dump him, you can just tell him something like you want to wait for a really special moment to have sex, or you want to wait until you're older or something. Anything goes. If he loves you for who you are, he won't dump you or anything he'll understand. Tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best policy ;)

[just-me]

hmm i may say that thanks

[Donkey]

Okay - hope it all works out!

[byee]

I don't think the issue here is 'fault'. Rather, I think you missed a very important opportunity to speak up for yourself and refuse to do something you didn't want to. Maybe he shouldn't have asked for oral sex, but by doing it, it really does give him the very false impression that this is all OK with you.

What should you do? Either set some limits with him by telling him you don't want to do these things with him, or move on and learn that you have to stand up for yourself, no matter who he (or his friends) are. People will (unfortunately) sometimes ask/demand some pretty outrageous/selfish things, and you have to be prepared to say NO, you cannot expect everyone to always do right.

[zoig]

don't let him presure u if u are not ready, tell him just that.

[rainebg]

You need to speak up for yourself. It may be hard but as another poster here said, if he really loves you he wont care. And what do you mean by "he demanded oral?" does that mean he asked or he forced your head down. If he forced your head down just dump him or ave a very serious talk. I hope i helped.

[Buggahh]

You need to think about what you want, if you love him. You need to have a chat with him or if you think it's past that point then leave him. Don't let him pressure you into anything that you don't want to do, I guess it comes back to that old saying if someone asked you to jump off a cliff would you do it?
Don't let who his friends are affect your life if they're your friends as well as his then maybe they'll believe, but whatever you do if people are going to screw your life up, dont let them be a part of it.

[john_gr]

+1 Buggahh

[just-me]

hey guys thought i just keep you updated.
i just wanted to say firstly, it wasnt that i didnt want to go that far with him, i did but in my own time and without him forcing my head.
i found out that i told him i s/h and he went back to my mate and started askin her about it when i told him not to tell anyone. so i dumped him and my mates backed me up 100%.
thanks for the advice guys

[Buggahh]

+1 Buggahh

thankksss :)