I dont have any strength to go on

[Medical Kid]

Lately, this community and my family have just been terrible.....my parents constantly fight, and my dad always puts me down, he always says he wants me to do an instrument, ok now your all gonna say "ya dont like it til ya tried it" well guess what, Ive tried it 3 times and I havent enjoyed it, to me music dosent flow through me and I have no talent for it, I simply dont enjoy it, and never in my life has he said " you can do it son! I believe in you!" he says he wants me to play music and I will only be happy when I do that, and he keeps putting me down saying I have no life and I'm a wimp, I would play sports if he would put down the damned bottle of wine, get his ass out of bed and drive me to a hockey practice for once! my mom said she believes in me, but shes never here to drive me, AND my dad has no idea what its like to be me, he never moved at all as a child, he lived near a soccer field, a hockey court, tennis court, basketball court, baseball field, wait for it! and a football field his whole childhood and still has the same friends he had when he was my age, and I move once a year letting go of all the friends I make, and I live no where near any of those great things, he is completely insensitive, I want him out of my family, and if he dosent leave, I will, does it make me a bad person feeling like this?

[Avalikia]

It doesn't make you a bad person (I felt a like that a lot when I was your age), as long as you don't act on wanting to leave. Unfortunately you just can't pick who's in your family and who isn't. It sounds like your dad really wants you to be doing good things, but he has no idea how to encourage you properly. Not only that, he seems to be unfairly projecting a lot of negative feelings towards you, and that's just not right. But the only thing you can do about it is decide whether or not anything he says about you is true, learn to ignore anything that is untrue, learn to accept anything that is true that you can't do anything about, and do what you can with the rest. It sounds like you're closer to your mom, right? Perhaps you need to talk to her about it, see if she can do anything to help. I know when my dad is being useless my mom can often convince him to be better.

[Hyper]

No it doesn't it makes you frustrated

Either you talk to your mother or father or both of them. Or you find some way to do the things you like.. Theres pretty much always some way

[pontiacdriver]

Lately, this community and my family have just been terrible.....my parents constantly fight, and my dad always puts me down, he always says he wants me to do an instrument, ok now your all gonna say "ya dont like it til ya tried it" well guess what, Ive tried it 3 times and I havent enjoyed it, to me music dosent flow through me and I have no talent for it, I simply dont enjoy it, and never in my life has he said " you can do it son! I believe in you!" he says he wants me to play music and I will only be happy when I do that, and he keeps putting me down saying I have no life and I'm a wimp, I would play sports if he would put down the damned bottle of wine, get his ass out of bed and drive me to a hockey practice for once! my mom said she believes in me, but shes never here to drive me, AND my dad has no idea what its like to be me, he never moved at all as a child, he lived near a soccer field, a hockey court, tennis court, basketball court, baseball field, wait for it! and a football field his whole childhood and still has the same friends he had when he was my age, and I move once a year letting go of all the friends I make, and I live no where near any of those great things, he is completely insensitive, I want him out of my family, and if he dosent leave, I will, does it make me a bad person feeling like this?

Your feelings definitely do not make you feel bad, and I think that your Father is being way too hard on you.

With your being in a military family I question whether it is a good idea to take up an instrument especially if the new base will not have an instructor for the instrument that you take up. I agree with you that it is senseless to make you do something that you really hate, and there is no sense in doing the instrument if you don't feel the rhythm. To play devil's advocate, I would say one of the biggest regrets I will ever have in my life was giving up a musical instrument, and only if playing a musical instrument is something that you genuinely like, then it would be most beneficial for you to do one. However, don't feel that you are incomplete as a person if you don't take up an instrument as it takes dedication to play an instrument.

As for your Father's situation, there is no question that something in his life is troubling him causing him to take out his anger upon you and your Mum. You situation is no doubt lethargic, and you might want to make a trip down to Army Community Services to see if there is any help they can offer your family (however, talk to your Mum before going down there, or see if you can talk to someone over at ACS anonymously). Also, I would talk to a school counselor about your feelings as you need to vent.

Being in a military family is super hard, and I truly feel for you folks as y'all have to move from place to place frequently never really putting down roots anywhere. I can see your desire to have a stable group of friends and having a place that you can call home. I am sorry that I cannot offer you something more concrete here, but if members of your Father's unit have kids your age or reasonably close, then stay tight with them just in case they move along with your family. Also, realize that most Military kids are just like you in that they have the struggles of moving from place to place. I hope that you can at least stay in contact with your current friends through e-mail and IM as Military kids of previous generations definitely did not have that luxury.

Just know that you seem like a fine guy, and it is terrible that your Father is taking out his frustrations upon you and your Mum. The best thing you can do is stay focused on school, get good grades, stay tight with your friends on base, and vent your feelings to someone responsible like a teacher or a counselor. No doubt that many military kids are having really tough times at home especially with parent(s) coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan, and your situation is sadly quite common among your neighbours. Don't let your family situation get you down as things will work out somehow.