i feel so bad, is hurtin myself really hurting other people?

[just-me]

my bf told me to stop s/h when i told him about it but i just couldnt, pressure stress and problems with friends has just pushed me too far. im not plannin on tellin him but i just generally feel bad for doin it, im tied between him and releasing all my stress, pressures and problems. and the worst thing is i dont think ive stopped harming yet ...

[byee]

You're developing a different perspective of your s/h, now that your b/f has expressed his dismay and disapproval of your s/h. That's a good thing!

Yes, speaking not only for your b/f, but for the countless others who are involved with people who do things to themselves, self destructive behavior does indeed affect those around you, and quite profoundly, too. They see it as dangerous and harmful, and they fear losing you. They aren't so much aware of it's 'value' to you as a release, they see it's risk.

Maybe you'll use this new found awareness to curb the behavior and find other ways of dealing with the stress. At some point, there will be others in your life who love you and care for you and frankly depend on you, and you'll have to make the decision sooner or later about the need to control those demons and make yourself more available to those who need and care for you. Why not take that step now?

[xxSilentScreamerxx]

Hey, yeah ive got the same problem.. my bf says im hurting every1 around me when i do it. But your bf needs to understand pressure makes it worse!
Hope your ok.
x

[bliss]

I think its fine if you don't go wild with it, and do it somewhere they wont see. When I do it no one sees it, even my bf he saw once it was all healed. This is like your business not theres.

[kittiegocrazy]

It does hurt the people around you who truly care about you. They don't want to lose you. One of my friends freaked when she saw my scars at a sleepover. I wasn't looking for the attention; I was careful about how I was moving my arms.. But she saw them... And it upset her because she feared me going too deep one day and accidentally killing myself. I wasn't going all that deep at the time, but it was enough to make her worry.

It didn't make me stop. I kept doing it. I haven't in more than around eight months now, and I'm aiming for a year. Not to say I haven't thought about it. I fear the guilt of if I cave in when I'm so close to that 12 month mark. I don't want my friends to worry about me like that, and some of my loose friends saying crap like I'm looking for attention when I'm not.

There are other ways to deal with everything. It's just a matter of finding them. It took me forever to find other ways... Or to even control the urge and really fight it away.

[-Silence]

Yes. It is hurting other people. Mostly because they love you and don't understand why you don't love yourself. Also, some people think that they might be a reason why you do it. They believe, "Well if I had done this, she wouldn't have any new cuts." And then they end up beating themselves up over something that they had no control over.

Did that make any sense? lol.

My fiance gets mad when I do it because in his eyes, I don't need it. I've got him, and to him, he thinks that if there is an urge or whatnot that he's there, so there is no reason. My hurting myself in return hurts him.

I think its fine if you don't go wild with it, and do it somewhere they wont see. When I do it no one sees it, even my bf he saw once it was all healed. This is like your business not theres.

I totally disagree.
Being sneaky like that will only result on more problems.
You are pretty much lying to your bf, and to me, that's not right.