It's sort of my fault.

[AutumnDae]

So, at the beginning of the school year my brother started playing soccer. He became the goalie, which is fine. The "assistant coach", someone who just graduated high school started helping Forrest out with stuff, which is fine. My mom was a bit suspicious at first, but I TOLD HER TO SHRUG IT OFF. This guy, Mike, the assistant coach, offered to bring him places. Dick's, to get goalie gloves, and stuff. He brought Forrest to the Rec Field to work on his goalie skills.

So probably two weeks ago my mom told me some shocking news. Apparently Bobby, a kid of the soccer team, had told his mom that Mike had asked him for some sexual favors. Bobby's mother, who works at the school, told the school. The coach told Mike that he couldn't be there for soccer practice any longer. So Mike shows up at Bobby's house, crying and sobbing. He stayed with his mom and talked about how his life sucks, his parents hate him. This was all going on during the time of soccer practice. He wouldn't admit if anything happened between him and Bobby.

After my mom gave me this news I was sort of skeptical. I didn't want to believe it. I was shocked. I thought maybe Bobby wanted attention. I told my mom that I didn't think that Mike would do anything like that. My mom talked to Forrest, and he swore that nothing happened.

So today, my mom told me that Mike admitted the stuff about Bobby. But apparently it goes deeper than that. If it was more than what Bobby said, I'm not sure. It may have been rape. I don't know yet. Mike also admitted that he had been molesting a child since the child was 6 years old. And to other children also.

I'm so scared. What if it happened to Forrest? I feel bad for Bobby, I mean I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through that. It's not fair.

We had an assembly at school today, and the people in the row in front of me were talking about it. They didn't mention Forrest's name, only Bobby's, but the girl who was telling someone was talking loudly. I wanted to say "You don't know what happened, I wouldn't be talking. Would you want me to talk about it if it happened to you? I suggest you stop before the rumors get worse and it turns into a bigger problem.

So I suppose an investigator will be talking to Forrest. I'm scared. I told my mom to shrug it off. That Mike was a good kid. If something happened to Forrest, it's all my fault. I'm so stupid.

[The Batman]

No it's never your fault. No matter what happened you didn't have any control over it and you shouldn't blame yourself. If this happened to your brother then I'm sure he'll tell the truth sooner or later but if it didn't just be thankful.

[Zephyr]

Hun, it's not your fault at all!
You thought that Mike could be trusted,
So in reponse you told your mom not to worry.
We can't always know what's going to happen.

If anything happened to your brother,
It's nobody's fault except for Mike's,
He's the dirty pedophile for taking advangate of the boys like that.

[Sugaree]

Listen Autumn, things like these are shocking and it's not something that you can just shrug off. It's something serious. It's a violation of someone's sexual being and can cause life altering changes.

This Mike character doesn't seem right to me. Not in the least. He seems like the kind who would do this to a child. And if convicted, then he will go to jail for it. I suppose that you haven't talked to Forrest since you've been told this? If not then maybe it's time too.

Maybe, since you ARE his sister, he could confide in you and tell anything that happened to him. But, don't push the issue. If this turns out to be true, which I think it is, then just be the most supportive person that you can be. Don't back down.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. You are a strong person and I know that Autumn. You also did the right thing by telling off that girl that was talking about it. When people do that then you just need to flat out say "You don't know what happened. Shut up. If it were you then you still wouldn't talk about it. Think about how the person that was actually affected feels right now. Did you think about that?"

Autumn, just talk to Forrest and if he says that something did happen then tell him that when the investigator talks to him that he says the truth and not something false. Typically, when something like this happens, there is always something going on. The molester would say something like "Say anything and I will kill you" or "This is our little secret" but, by then, it's fair game. Just talk to him but don't push it.

[Random_oso06]

Hun, it's not your fault at all!
You thought that Mike could be trusted,
So in reponse you told your mom not to worry.
We can't always know what's going to happen.

If anything happened to your brother,
It's nobody's fault except for Mike's,
He's the dirty pedophile for taking advangate of the boys like that.

you said it steph and Autumn it isn't you fault no one can tell who is who just like what steph said you thought that Mike could be trusted just remember it isn't your fault

[Antares]

Oh hun.
It is NOT your fault.
You know, sometimes we want to think that everyone is good and that things like that never happen to us but it is simply not true. It is typical human mentality to think that but its not true. I dont think you should blame your self for it. At least Forrest is okay and all of the other people.
I think you need to talk to Forrest and just tell him it is okay to say it. It will be kept private because he is probably scared out of his mind. Tell him that the world will still be here after and all that great stuff. It will be a better place and that they will both be okay.
But still dont blame your self because it is NOT your fault.

[byee]

(*This post reminds Sam why he likes and respects Autumn so much*)

First, it's not your fault, b/c nothing happened to your brother. It's not about Forrest (or you), Autumn, it's about Mike's problem which has been directed at Bobby and apparently others, too. Your involvement here, giving an opinion on Mike's involvement with Forrest, was based on all the available info (not heresay) you had, and your good judgement (which we know you have). That's changed now, b/c Mike has now shared his history with you.

So, the more complicated issue that presents itself to you is your response now that Mike has made this confession to you about molesting other boys. Doing nothing before was Ok b/c you didn't know, you didn't have any evidence or proof, but now you do. Acting on 'gossip' (info w/o proof) could be irresponsible. Not acting on an admission of serious misdeeds involving minors is unacceptable, their safety and well being is at stake.

Sorry to say, I wouldn't wait for the 'investigation', I'd go straight to the police (with your folks) with the confession he gave. Clearly, there are other boys at risk here, and they need you to come forward to protect them.

[pontiacdriver]

The clear fact is that your advice to your Mum was not flawed at all and that nothing is your fault. Child molestors are predators who know how to track their prey and cover up their tracks very well. A child molester is not some creepy person wearing a trench coat standing in a dark alley but rather is usually the person who you least expect. There was probably no reason for you to suspect Mike as there was probably nothing in his behaviour or history to indicate that he had a problem. If anything, you are a victim like the boys who were molested by this scumbag as he created a false sense of trust with everyone he encountered. Basically, recognize that the person that is at fault here is the molester and not you. Hindsight is always the best teacher, but you did not have the facts then that you have now, and there is no reason to feel that you let your brother down in anyway.

If your brother and/or his friends have been molested, the most important thing you can do is to reassure them that they are completely normal, not flawed or dirty, and that they are not social outcasts because they are the victims. More than anything you have to reassure the boys and ensure that they have a sense of normalcy.

I sincerely hope things work out for you.

[Camazotz]

The only person at fault here is Mike for molesting a child.

[AutumnDae]

Sorry for confusing you guys.

Mike didn't confess to me, he confessed to the police about Bobby and the other kids.