I can barely take it...

[Muffins]

Ok heres the thing,

My brother in-law, eldest sister & my 2 nephews are staying at our already full house theyve been here since july and are staying untill their house gets finnished [november, december...] My bro in-law is SOO Annoying! He acts like he owns the friken house! And my dad is hardly here [he works overseas but comes to vist every couple of weeks for a break] And my mum is soo worn out because she always has to watch the nephews and cook dinner most nights for me and my sisters [I have 2 living at home 4 in total im the youngest]

So umm yea my Bro in-law acts like he owns the house he bosses me around gets mad at me all the time for anything and one of my nephews is not even a month old he screams all the time I wake up at night, I have to sleep in the living room because my mum is in my room, My nephew who is 2 and a half is always following my mum because he realy likes her but he doesnt give her a break.

Last night my brother inlaw said

Bro Inlaw: Take out the trash!
Me: I just saw it im about to pfft!
Bro inlaw: Well you NEVER do it without being asked!
Me: I DO SO!
Mum: He does do it without being asked.

Then he shut up and went to bed

That was Probable the first time my mum has stood up for me the whole time!
And I do home school now and Its realy hard to study with so many people in the house

I was so mad I wanted to buy a baseball bat and break his car! But he has a fancy car and it has an alarm and toyota calls him to tell him his car has gone off [he used to work for toyota] so I cant do that >_>

And when I dont do stuff "properly" the threatens to uninstall my games on the computer

So now I ignore him and try to get him in trouble and pay him out at any and every opourtunity I get...And hes big so I cant do anything to him.

So I dont know im realy stressed I feel like im gona explode one day from all the anger I did the other day and my sister goes
"Well that shows that the violence from your games is coming through"

In my head I was SO PISSED OFF! I want to tell her off and yell at her!!

And my other sisters tell me off about everything and anything all the time
I used to have suicidal feelings but I have to keep reminding myself I need to carry on the family name [Just me and my cousin to carry on the name now] And I want to have kids and be a police man and a hot wife :D

So now my goal is to survive untill the move out I already openly state to my family that I will celebrate the day they leave :yeah: And I always am rude to them now on purpose because of what they do to me...And I just gota survive acouple more years then I can get out of home as well... *sigh*

Thanks for reading all this crap :rolleyes: I tried to make it as short as I could..

[rsc4life]

Wow. That is a lot of problems. Well... Alas, sometimes we need to just make it through these things. Luckily, all of my family live in DC... So they have to deal with eachother.

[byee]

I think you and mum need to have a little chat. It's her house, she's in charge. Your dad not being there doesn't mean that your bro in law needs to take over. You need to diplomatically talk with mum about the inappropriateness of his taking over and how much that gets in the way for you.

[pontiacdriver]

Your avatar is an apt one for your situation as I would go mad, too, in light of the kind of people with whom you have to deal.

Firstly, your brother-in-law is a jerk, and he has no right to talk to you like he is your Father. Your brother-in-law is a guest in YOUR house, and the fact remains that when your sister married him she joined HIS family. As a guest in your house your brother-in-law should be grateful that your parents are even letting him live at your place especially since he is now an adult and probably could and should find temporary accommodations elsewhere instead of leaching off your family. All because your Father is not around does not mean that this guy is suddenly the man of the house. If this guy was such a "man," then he would not be living in his mother-in-law's house. Basically, you are under no obligations to listen to this guy and your sister as the only people to whom you are accountable is your Mum and Dad.

Secondly, with your schoolwork and mental health being adversely affected by your brother-in-law and the overall situation in the house you need to sit down privately with your Mum and talk your feelings out. There is no question that everyone is at wits end over the living arrangement, and there is no question that you Mum is probably burned out, too. Also, I would somehow contact your Father to vent your feelings out as your brother-in-law has no business treating you the way he does. Tell your parnets that you really feel that your brother-in-law is usurping their authority, causing unwelcome interference in your family life, and that he is causing unnecessary tension.

Thirdly, your brother-in-law and Sister really need to take more accountability for their own lives before lecturing you on yours. For example, with their kids running around like wild and your Mum being the defacto cook and maid for her family as well as theirs there is no question that those two need to be more responsible and stop acting like teenagers. If they are old enough to have kids, then they are old enough to take care of them. While this might not be the most palatable option, there might need to be serious talk about having your brother-in-law and sister move out to temporary lodgings until their house is ready (which sounds like it is not too far off). It is my understanding that caravan/mobile home parks are relatively cheap housing options in your country. The fact that the brother-in-law is making you suicidal is enough to make me think that the fellow, his wife, and his children need to leave. After all, you are still a minor dependant upon your parents whereas your sister and her delightful husband are adults and should be able to take care of themselves.

I hope that things works out for you, and always vent your feelings to someone, and don't ever get to the point of being suicidal.

[Muffins]

I think you and mum need to have a little chat. It's her house, she's in charge. Your dad not being there doesn't mean that your bro in law needs to take over. You need to diplomatically talk with mum about the inappropriateness of his taking over and how much that gets in the way for you.

Thats the thing, Shes to tired to have a nice private chat because shes always doing something with the nephews or cooking dinner or going shopping
And it wouldnt be private the house is always full now I think there was one day for about 3 hours I was by myself...that was a great day.
And she thinks hes not doing anything wrong! :rolleyes: :(

Also my bro inlaw said to me in my room because I didnt do something he told me to he said "Look I now its tuff without ur dad being here alot but you just have to do it" I was thinking WTF DUDE STFU UR NOT MY EFFIN DAD :mad:

Your avatar is an apt one for your situation as I would go mad, too, in light of the kind of people with whom you have to deal.

Firstly, your brother-in-law is a jerk, and he has no right to talk to you like he is your Father. Your brother-in-law is a guest in YOUR house, and the fact remains that when your sister married him she joined HIS family. As a guest in your house your brother-in-law should be grateful that your parents are even letting him live at your place especially since he is now an adult and probably could and should find temporary accommodations elsewhere instead of leaching off your family. All because your Father is not around does not mean that this guy is suddenly the man of the house. If this guy was such a "man," then he would not be living in his mother-in-law's house. Basically, you are under no obligations to listen to this guy and your sister as the only people to whom you are accountable is your Mum and Dad.

Secondly, with your schoolwork and mental health being adversely affected by your brother-in-law and the overall situation in the house you need to sit down privately with your Mum and talk your feelings out. There is no question that everyone is at wits end over the living arrangement, and there is no question that you Mum is probably burned out, too. Also, I would somehow contact your Father to vent your feelings out as your brother-in-law has no business treating you the way he does. Tell your parnets that you really feel that your brother-in-law is usurping their authority, causing unwelcome interference in your family life, and that he is causing unnecessary tension.

Thirdly, your brother-in-law and Sister really need to take more accountability for their own lives before lecturing you on yours. For example, with their kids running around like wild and your Mum being the defacto cook and maid for her family as well as theirs there is no question that those two need to be more responsible and stop acting like teenagers. If they are old enough to have kids, then they are old enough to take care of them. While this might not be the most palatable option, there might need to be serious talk about having your brother-in-law and sister move out to temporary lodgings until their house is ready (which sounds like it is not too far off). It is my understanding that caravan/mobile home parks are relatively cheap housing options in your country. The fact that the brother-in-law is making you suicidal is enough to make me think that the fellow, his wife, and his children need to leave. After all, you are still a minor dependant upon your parents whereas your sister and her delightful husband are adults and should be able to take care of themselves.

I hope that things works out for you, and always vent your feelings to someone, and don't ever get to the point of being suicidal.

He he yea I guess it is a fitting avatar :yes:

Well my dads not happy theyre here either because they dont realy pay for anything accept they go shopping once in awhile
While my 2 sisters living at home have to pay rent! [Theyre in their early 20's] I dont think im suicial anymore but Im worried a realy bad day will come and I wont be able to take it :(

And as I type my nephew [my other sisters who doesnt live at home I got 4 sisters..yea hes trashing my room....] Im seriously so pissed off lately I yell at people extra family moving in + hormones + already annoying family = rage. I empty the dishwasher in the morning as well and several mornings i find myself just holding the realy sharp knife having a massive mental battle in my head :( this is on bad days also Sometimes I look at cars and wonder If I jump infront of them then my pain will be gone, but we're Christian and I dont want to go to hell this and many other reasons [as stated in my first post] keep me from killing myself so far..for now.

My mum wont kick them out they'd never say yes...I just have to sortof survive for abit & if theyre not out by christmas I swear I will buy myself a baseball bat. Because I will be mental by then...

I will post more stuff later I gota go do school work now :(

[byee]

Listen, find the time to talk calmly with mum.

In the absence of clear expectations, coming from the Boss (your mum!), there's a lot of room here for interpretation based on your bro in law's thinking on what his role should be. Until the Boss takes control, he's going to likely fill the perceived void and make things difficult.

You and mum have been working together just fine up until now, and he needs to be made aware of that. She needs the info (which she likely lacks b/c she's so busy) to see the effects of his over reaching here. Give her the benefit of the doubt here and assume that if she knew how he was taking control she'd intervene, and give her the info she needs to re exert her authority.

It would be nice if they could see all this themselves and just behave differently but sometimes that doesn't happen. You might need to do some work here to give mum the info she needs to do right.

[pontiacdriver]

Your brother-in-law and sister sound like really selfish people, and I would not go mental over two people who are obviously losers in that they are mooching off your Mum.

As the poster above suggested, you really need to vent with your Mum, and even if the nephews are around running amok you still can try to have a conversation with her. My thinking is that just you and your Mum should go out together and have dinner with one another away from the rest of your family. There should be no reason why your sister and her delightful husband can't take care of THEIR kids for one day while you and your Mum bond. I really think that you have to make it crystal clear about how your mental state is really being hurt by having all those freeloaders in your house. I think that your Mum should know about the gravity of the situation so that she can make the best possible decision. Especially with your other sisters paying rent there should be no reason why the brother-in-law and sister should pull their own weight. It really burns me up to hear the brother-in-law lecturing you on responsibility when he is still a man-child living in someone else's home and having other people be responsible for HIS kids.

Especially with your Father not being happy that your Sister and her husband have moved in perhaps you can use that in your favour to get rid of them? I am sure that your Mum is a really loving, caring person, but there comes a limit to what your family should endure, and it is time that your sister and her family move out whether or not they agree. Of course your sister and family don't want to move out as she is getting everything for free including free day care for her kids. I think you should make it clear that your family's hospitality is being abused and that it is time for your family to take back their house.

Listen, don't do anything to hurt yourself because what is happening in not your fault. Write down your feelings if you cannot get private time with your Mum, and she can read your words when she has free time. Basically, I think that your family was kind enough to take in your sister, brother-in-law, and their kids, but it seems like they have worn out their welcome especially with their not helping out around the house in terms of maintenance or finances.

[Muffins]

Your brother-in-law and sister sound like really selfish people, and I would not go mental over two people who are obviously losers in that they are mooching off your Mum.

As the poster above suggested, you really need to vent with your Mum, and even if the nephews are around running amok you still can try to have a conversation with her. My thinking is that just you and your Mum should go out together and have dinner with one another away from the rest of your family. There should be no reason why your sister and her delightful husband can't take care of THEIR kids for one day while you and your Mum bond. I really think that you have to make it crystal clear about how your mental state is really being hurt by having all those freeloaders in your house. I think that your Mum should know about the gravity of the situation so that she can make the best possible decision. Especially with your other sisters paying rent there should be no reason why the brother-in-law and sister should pull their own weight. It really burns me up to hear the brother-in-law lecturing you on responsibility when he is still a man-child living in someone else's home and having other people be responsible for HIS kids.

Especially with your Father not being happy that your Sister and her husband have moved in perhaps you can use that in your favour to get rid of them? I am sure that your Mum is a really loving, caring person, but there comes a limit to what your family should endure, and it is time that your sister and her family move out whether or not they agree. Of course your sister and family don't want to move out as she is getting everything for free including free day care for her kids. I think you should make it clear that your family's hospitality is being abused and that it is time for your family to take back their house.

Listen, don't do anything to hurt yourself because what is happening in not your fault. Write down your feelings if you cannot get private time with your Mum, and she can read your words when she has free time. Basically, I think that your family was kind enough to take in your sister, brother-in-law, and their kids, but it seems like they have worn out their welcome especially with their not helping out around the house in terms of maintenance or finances.
Even when we clean the house on Weekends they go on a trip to see how much progress their house has made, they dont help at all :mad:
Once in awhile they pick up my nephews toys but thats about it.

My Dad isant happy but my mum tells him off for being mad so I cant realy use him.

You wouldnt belive how busy my mum is, She gets up at 5-6 am when my nephew wakes up, makes breakfast, pays bills/watches nephews/goes to shops/goes shopping with my grandma. Then lunch she does more stuff barely has enough time to eat sometimes if my nephews actualy sleep she gets abit of rest then the rest of the afternoon is looking after people, or going to shops or something.....

And my sister, bro inlaw & nephews moved in in july....:mad:

Listen, find the time to talk calmly with mum.

In the absence of clear expectations, coming from the Boss (your mum!), there's a lot of room here for interpretation based on your bro in law's thinking on what his role should be. Until the Boss takes control, he's going to likely fill the perceived void and make things difficult.


You and mum have been working together just fine up until now, and he needs to be made aware of that. She needs the info (which she likely lacks b/c she's so busy) to see the effects of his over reaching here. Give her the benefit of the doubt here and assume that if she knew how he was taking control she'd intervene, and give her the info she needs to re exert her authority.

It would be nice if they could see all this themselves and just behave differently but sometimes that doesn't happen. You might need to do some work here to give mum the info she needs to do right.

Well thats the thing my mum has always been bugging me [alot more now she hardly ever used to] but now she doesnt listen she thinks my brother inlaw is right because he's a IT guy who thinks he knows everything [sorry another rant] he even has a password on OUR computer and no one but him knows it and its the admin one! I mean COMEONE First you invade our house then you take over our computer!? :mad:
And my 4th sisters fiance finally realised my brotherinlaw is a jerk...So atleast I have someone who kinda understands :/


Brother Inlaw 1 -Jerk
Brother Inlaw 2 -Probable my fav hes nice to me and never bugs me were probable the closest.
Sisters Fiance - Probable my fav as well! Hes my Youth Leader at church [where he met my sister] And he finally realised Bro inlaw1 is a jerk, Hes the only one Ive kinda talked to about Bro inlaw1

Sister 1 - Married to jerk
Sister 2 - Married to Bro Inlaw 2 :) shes nice
Sister 3 - Single but bugs me like hell about everything
Sister 4 - Engaged [see above] shes ok i guess

And my mum never belives that hes abusing his "power" :mad:

Well my rant is kinda over for now :whoops:... I will probable buy everyone presents for Christmas but leave them out...not that it does much but more of a thing that shows I resent them. :lol:

Also my mum probable wouldnt belive me if I said its affecting me... -.-

[byee]

Since you do not think there's much that can be done to improve the situation, then your only option is tolerance. Come up with a way to tolerate the intrusion, and get thru it as painlessly as possible. At least it's temporary, eventually they'll move out and you'll be done with them!

Sometimes we can change things by talking, other times we cannot. For those occaisions, tolerance is key, just remember their presence is not permanant.

[CaptainObvious]

If your mum doesn't have the time to talk, write her a letter and leave it somewhere for her. Make it clear what you're feeling, and why. And make sure the letter is calm, polite, simple and clear. Often, writing thoughts out (as I'm sure you've discovered through this thread) can be cathartic, and being calm and clear about why you feel as you do can really help your cause.

Other than that, I suppose you'll just have to take it. Don't even think about suicide. Your brother in law is not worth it.

[pontiacdriver]

The more and more I think about your situation the angrier I get at your brother-in-law and the more I feel sorry for you. However, you do have options:

1) As the others have mentioned, write a letter to your Mum detailing your feelings as I think that you are underestimating her. You need to vent as it is not fair or right that you should be going crazy in your own house as a result of freeloaders.

2) See if there is a way you can get your two other sisters who live in the house to support you and that you all approach your Mum together to vent your feelings. Surely all of you must be hurting as a result of your brother-in-law and his family coming in like a tornado and turning your lives upside down. At very least, try to at least get one sister to help you. Especially in light of your sisters paying rent and your brother-in-law not doing so I am sure that they must be outraged.

3) It is great to hear that you get along with your other sister and her husband, and if push comes to shove, see if you can crash with them for a while. Be honest about your feelings and that you really need a break and help. If this brother-in-law is really good, then he should help you out. Also, with your leaving the house surely your Mum will take notice.

With your evil brother-in-law having an IT background it befuddles me how he cannot afford to get a place on his own. There are options on where this guy and his family can go in that they can always temporary rent a space at a caravan park, or maybe he can actually stay with his family instead of freeloading off of you guys.

Finally, don't let this brother-in-law treat your things like they are his, and absolutely do not let him put passwords or things on YOUR computer especially since the guy does not do a damn thing around the house but live off your Mum like some sort of leech.

[Muffins]

Well one of my sisters does [The second youngest im youngest] She says shes annoyed and will talk to my Bro Inlaw about it next time he tells me off.

but the "middle sister" is the "Holy" one shes the innocent one, whos never wrong, shes the good girl that never gets in trouble shes the annoying beotch who doesnt care what happens shes happy, I get so effin annoyed whenever I see her, Shes always telling my and my nice sister off for not liking that they are here and all that crap. -.-

Umm I dont think I will leave...Even though I'd love to. I guess I just have to tolerate, but um yea I guess if as you say "Push comes to shove" they would be the first people.

Yea hes geting a $550,000 AUD house [That currently equals $367,343 USD]
Umm No since its only me and my sister against them we can force them into a caravan.
And after spending so much on a house of course he doesnt have money pay to live somewhere for 6 months, They were renting a house but they didnt want to pay it...lazy asses.
And all his family is about 2-3 Hour flight away In another state So thats not an option

About the computer-We have 2 now- Im on the Windows XP and know the password but on the New Vista computer hes the only one that knows the password and the parental blocker blocks all my sites [Even google...] And he claims he doesnt know why...Well lets see hes the only one with the password-therefore the only one who could change it so...That means- Yup you guessed fat a$$ here has changed stuff Can you belive it he blamed me for it and said i was fiddleing with it! Well thats abit how do we say...oh yea IMPOSIBLE since only HE knows the friken password!

LOL- Sorry that leech part made my day...[even though its true]

But yea my mum says I would download crap and stuff....-.- seriously "WTF!?" its not HIS computer so he shouldnt have the password!

Rant over for now.

[pontiacdriver]

Your situation is hard, but remember that you do have options in terms of going to your good brother-in-law's house if things get really bad. Don't ever let yourself get crazy over that parasite brother-in-law as he and your sister seem terribly selfish and irresponsible for not factoring in temporary housing when building their new house. Heck, if I were you, then I would volunteer to work at your brother-in-law's house just to get it finished faster so that you can get rid of him.

Not to sound silly, but if your brother-in-law and sister did not factor in the cost of temporary housing while their house is being built how will they afford new furniture? Can you forsee a situation where your brother-in-law and sister ask your Mum to stick around for a while longer until they can afford furniture?

I can see your point about it being difficult for just you and one sister to complain to your Mum. However, you still must vent your feelings to your Mum irregardless as you are her son, and it is unfair that she is practically raising your sister's kids at your expense.

It is completely unbelieveable that your delightful leech of a brother-in-law would change the password on the Vista machine and essentially block your access to it. Especially with the parasitic brother-in-law being an IT guy you would think he would have his own computer. I hope that when your Father comes back that you can get him to kick your brother-in-law's arse as your brother-in-law really needs to be reminded of his place in this world. If this means anything, Vista as an operating system really sucks, and XP is a lot more user friendly. I reckon it is probably for the best that your brother-in-law who is a jerk uses the system that leaves a lot to be desired.

Finally, I really hope that things work out for you, and don't you let that brother-in-law or his family ruin your life. It is your house and your family, and your Mum is going to have to put you first. My strong suggestion is that you talk to your Mum now rather than let things boil over as you will not be in a strong position then. Remember, vent your feelings to someone who has control over your situation so that you will not be sidelined in your own house. You are not alone in being outraged over the situation in your home.

[Muffins]

Oh and he fixed the internet stuff he still says I did something...bitch

And Thats why im on the XP and not the Vista...because it sucks and he has the password.

Yea I guess I sortof just have to try and survive somehow :/

Sorry im realy tired cant be bothered anwsering all the stuff

Now my mum gets mad at me cos im in the shower for 10 mins [masterbating...seriously if i dont im so stressed its the one time of day im by myself and its peacefull...no yelling no, no nothing & I can just forget about the world for afew mins]