nachtspiegel
October 13th, 2008, 10:53 AM
So, right now, as far as relationships go, I'm sort of at a crossroad. I haven't been in a relationship since July, but that one only lasted two days and nothing came of it. She had liked me for several months prior, and I felt bad that she waited around all the time, so I agreed to be with her, only to break up two days later because I realized that the sooner I told the truth, the less hurtful it would be.
I've just started to move on from someone that I never mentioned here. We live nine hours apart, and we talked for two years online before meeting up almost a year ago. There were always issues between us because of the distance. People that I met here, people that she met there, and it was ultimately that kind of thing that caused us to have a huge confrontation that messed everything up. Even though we never seriously dated (becuase of the distance, it was more of a romance of the mind) we were pretty invested in each other. I never really found anyone that could hold a candle to her, even though I dated someone else a few times (someone else I'll talk about in a minute) during the time period. I'm not normally the type to get attached to anyone, much less someone that lives so far away, but she was, and still is, different. She'll always be a part of me, but I've finally realized that there is no chance of it ever happening, so I need to move on if I ever plan to life the full life I have planned for myself.
As far as the other person I mentioned is concerned, well, that is still a complicated situation. We've now known each other for almost six years. We didn't date for the first time until she was 13 and I was 14, two years ago. Since then, it's been really off and on. She kept swaying and couldn't decide what she wanted, and even though I thought I was seriously head over heels for her, I moved on pretty quickly toward the end of last year because I got tired of being treated that way, even though it could've been much worse. Even though I never found in her what I found in the girl I just mentioned for the first time earlier in this thread, there's still something there because of our extensive history. Part of me feels like I should give it another chance, but I've been told by numerous people (even on here) that she is serious emotional blackmail, and I need to treat with an extensive amount caution.
Third, is a girl that I met in April. She seemed like a really good, genuine person. Someone that anyone would be lucky to know. We live really close to each other, but we met online. We were going to hang out very soon after we met, but I ODed and got put in the hospital for almost a month. About a week after I got out of the hospital, we met up. We were talking about getting together because we just hit it off from the start. Then, I learned a few things that unnerved me - not because of what they were, but because she hid them from me.
Back in January, a notice went around the neighborhood that a 15 year old girl and her boyfriend that got her pregnant ran away. There were fliers everywhere. It blew over as quick as it started, but I connected the name, and I confronted her about it. As it turns out, I went a little bit too harshly about it, but I've been lied to so many times, I couldn't help it. (As it turns out, she wasn't pregnant, and she told me her side of the story.) Everything leveled out, except that things weren't the same as before. She crosses my mind all the time, and I can't help but take the little things as signs. We met up at the memorial for a friend of ours (she knew him a lot better than I did) and she wrote me the next day telling me how glad she was to see me and that she wanted to see me again really soon. The twist is, she has a boyfriend, and I'm not sure what to make of the situation.
As it turns out, even when I am single, I'm not completely by myself. I'm not sure what to do or what to think. I would include more, but I've written enough, and I have to leave, anyway. I'm meeting up with a friend in a few minutes.
Sorry that this is so long.
I've just started to move on from someone that I never mentioned here. We live nine hours apart, and we talked for two years online before meeting up almost a year ago. There were always issues between us because of the distance. People that I met here, people that she met there, and it was ultimately that kind of thing that caused us to have a huge confrontation that messed everything up. Even though we never seriously dated (becuase of the distance, it was more of a romance of the mind) we were pretty invested in each other. I never really found anyone that could hold a candle to her, even though I dated someone else a few times (someone else I'll talk about in a minute) during the time period. I'm not normally the type to get attached to anyone, much less someone that lives so far away, but she was, and still is, different. She'll always be a part of me, but I've finally realized that there is no chance of it ever happening, so I need to move on if I ever plan to life the full life I have planned for myself.
As far as the other person I mentioned is concerned, well, that is still a complicated situation. We've now known each other for almost six years. We didn't date for the first time until she was 13 and I was 14, two years ago. Since then, it's been really off and on. She kept swaying and couldn't decide what she wanted, and even though I thought I was seriously head over heels for her, I moved on pretty quickly toward the end of last year because I got tired of being treated that way, even though it could've been much worse. Even though I never found in her what I found in the girl I just mentioned for the first time earlier in this thread, there's still something there because of our extensive history. Part of me feels like I should give it another chance, but I've been told by numerous people (even on here) that she is serious emotional blackmail, and I need to treat with an extensive amount caution.
Third, is a girl that I met in April. She seemed like a really good, genuine person. Someone that anyone would be lucky to know. We live really close to each other, but we met online. We were going to hang out very soon after we met, but I ODed and got put in the hospital for almost a month. About a week after I got out of the hospital, we met up. We were talking about getting together because we just hit it off from the start. Then, I learned a few things that unnerved me - not because of what they were, but because she hid them from me.
Back in January, a notice went around the neighborhood that a 15 year old girl and her boyfriend that got her pregnant ran away. There were fliers everywhere. It blew over as quick as it started, but I connected the name, and I confronted her about it. As it turns out, I went a little bit too harshly about it, but I've been lied to so many times, I couldn't help it. (As it turns out, she wasn't pregnant, and she told me her side of the story.) Everything leveled out, except that things weren't the same as before. She crosses my mind all the time, and I can't help but take the little things as signs. We met up at the memorial for a friend of ours (she knew him a lot better than I did) and she wrote me the next day telling me how glad she was to see me and that she wanted to see me again really soon. The twist is, she has a boyfriend, and I'm not sure what to make of the situation.
As it turns out, even when I am single, I'm not completely by myself. I'm not sure what to do or what to think. I would include more, but I've written enough, and I have to leave, anyway. I'm meeting up with a friend in a few minutes.
Sorry that this is so long.