I've lost it.

[Manifest Destiny]

I've had it up to the rim with the people who are around me, who I'm exposed to, the people I see on TV. All of them. Everyone. I'm tired of feeling taunted and paranoid but I can't fix it. The people who I thought were my friends are nothing but two-faced cretins and I don't fucking deserve it! I'm nice to everyone and do things just to keep them and I have had it. I'm tired of my family who can obviously see I am in a bad mood but yet they want to start something anyway, or when they see I'm frustarted they want to keep shoving it in instead of leaving me alone. I'm sick of feeling like curling up into a ball and never waking up. Its not fair that I should have to feel like banging my head on pavement to get out of this world. I feel like this society full of its nasty and corrupt people are taunting me and drawing me in to be like them, to be like everyone else. I don't like it. There's no way of escaping anything. I feel as if nothing can ever make me happy anymore. As if someone or something is always there to ruin my mood. I simply feel that I hate all of humanity, yet I know I couldnt live completely alone. I'm tired of not having true friends who like me for the way I am. I'm depressed, I'm suicidal, and I have finally been pushed over the edge. But you know what? I have to freaking put a smile on my face and lie like no tomorrow just so I don't ruin other peoples moods. I simply do not want to be bothered anymore. All those happy feelings that I saw in the past of me in the future have simply died and gone. I feel like i have not a drop of hope left.

[The Batman]

Just about every member of this forum has felt this or is feeling this and we know how hard it is. Your right you don't deserve to be treated like this in fact no one does but the problem is we allow this to happen. There are many things we could like ignore it, avoid them, or just bottle it up, but those never work. The thing that does work is to let them know how you feel. Sometimes you have to open yourself and show people that they are hurting you so much, because believe it or not most of the time they don't see it.

[fxckingloco.]

i felt like this when i was 12 :( its really not nice, i didnt realise i had depression till a year later.. talk to your parents, there always going to be there for you! even if you feel like there not. dont keep what your feeling in though.. it makes this alot harder to get over. try writing all what your feeling down or doing art.. i found that helped me.. also try turning to God, he is there for you know matter what :)