Can't get over . . .

[Attax]

Okay, so I posted recently about my breakup, and it has been about a week so far and I have tried being just friends with her, but I can't do it. I went to her beauty pageant she was in today and I started crying afterwards because all my friends were up on stage hanging out with their girlfriends and I was left all alone in the back, and I saw her and I just started crying. I can't do this . . . It is just too much for me, and she said that I can take as much time as I need but I don't want to lose her as a friend. . . I just need someone to hold me and tell me it is going to be alright while I'm crying, but she was the one who always did that. So for right now I am bottling my emotions up inside (which I always advocate against) waiting for them to explode. I want to be friends with her, but it seems impossible right now and I'm not quite sure what to do . . .

[Mzor203]

I'm sorry you two broke up.

I don't think bottling up your emotions is the best thing to do right now. I think you need to find somewhere private and let them out, whatever that is for you.

You should still try to be her friend though, but maybe you should give her some time before you talk to her again. After you're feeling better, in case your emotions are let out when you talk to her.

[Gumleaf]

thats not a good feeling to have. break ups are hard and i know from being in one myself. she told me she still wanted to be friends, but no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't. everytime i saw her for a while afterwards, i could only focus on the hurt she had caused me and that made me upset and frustrated. what i'm saying is, that for a while at least, being friends might not be the best option for you. you need time to get over the hurt she has caused you. once you feel within yourself that you are moving on, then perhaps that would be a good time to start communicating with her again. but until then, i think you need to take some time out from being with her and communicating with her.

[Attax]

It also doesn't help that I am not seeing how horribly she treated me . . .

[Attax]

Alright, I am bumping cause I still need a little more help possibly. There was this girl who wanted to have sex with me after me and my girlfriend broke up, and I was kinda planning on doing that to help get over my ex, but now the girl doesn't want to which I am fine with. But now I really want my ex back . . .

[Gumleaf]

ok, so i read your last thread again and i think that if you want to get back with her, you need to talk to her and sort out your issues and whether she is really interested in having a relationship with you. if you can talk things out and be on the same page about the things you want out of the relationship, then i'm sure it will work. but if she doesn't feel the same way you do now, i'm sorry but there would be no point getting back together because it will only end with you getting hurt and feeling that pain all over again. so what i suggest you do is talk it out with her and decide what to do from there, but do it by thinking with your head rather then your heart.

[justateen93]

yeah im sorry about ur break up but u have to distance urself for a while

[rsc4life]

Hey, just vent. Vent at a mirror. But if you aren't ready to be friends. Take your time. Read a book. Calm down.

[byee]

Oh, I'm really sorry for you, Travis. Loss is the pits.

Everyone always seems to say "But we can still be friends", but that's usually the one who decides to break it off. For the one who doesn't want to let go, it's really hard to be around the person in a different, more emotionally distant way. I think you might be having a hard time being around her in this new, distant way b/c instead of feeling Ok about things and adjusting to 'still' being friends, you're more aware of what you've lost.

Some people CAN do this, be 'just' friends. You might not be one of them, though. It might be easier to deal with the loss and sorrow and the permanence of this, and move on, rather than be around her and be in agony b/c you're just reminded of what happened and what you're missing.

Consider trying to stay away, give yourself some time, hang out with your other friends. And, when you feel better (this might take some time), you'll be better able to find someone else and establish a new, and hopefully better relationship. But before you pick up that book, you might need to put this one down first.