I've lost track again.

[nachtspiegel]

I thought I was gaining control of this.

The past four days have been really bad. I've had violent flashbacks in my sleep almost every night. I went back to self harm the other day. I lost track of how long it had been. I had primarily been too distracted. Since the other day, I've seriously been considering signing myself back into a hospital. I can't take this much longer. I can't say anything to my family. The last time I was put into a placement, my mom tried to sign me over to the state, so I'm just trying to keep it together. I woke up today in a mood that I haven't been in since the day before I overdosed back in May. I was going to go see a friend of mine, but I can't call her because I don't have a phone. I'm only online because my mom has a laptop and I live near a hot spot. My sister was crying a few minutes ago because there is no food in the house and we have no way to get any. I'm tired of complaining, but even more, I'm tired of living like this.

[Bobby]

You can complain as much as you like D. Dude, I don't what what to say. But just stay positive. Think that things will get better. Know that things will get better. Things will get better. You deserve better.

[nachtspiegel]

I actually do want to get past this.
I've been rapid-cycling and my counseling case got closed last month and aserfhugh;

[Hyper]

David hmm all I can say is keep on keepin on?

Sadly there is no determined formula for curing depression, self harm or earning money :/

[electric7rocker]

if you have neighbors you can see if they would let you have some food?
like asking to borrow an egg or a cup of sugar... except go for something a little more filling...

[nachtspiegel]

It got taken care of, for the moment. For tonight, at least. I'm not really going to into detail about how, though. The money issue doesn't bother me most of the time. Neither does going without. What bothers me is not knowing what to say or how to react when everyone else gets down about it.

[Bobby]

Just remind them times will get better. Because they will.

[Hyper]

Just remind them times will get better. Because they will.

Not trying to be a dick

But when you've been thinking that for 5 years and trying to believe it for another 5 years

It makes you feel like shit rather then better

[Bobby]

I understand that, but David, you really need to have a positive additude.