Mzor203
October 4th, 2008, 01:57 AM
This is what happens when I get bored and am in a good mood. :D
Lunch Time
I've never been a good cook. I know that now, and am thankful for that knowledge. It has saved me a lot of trouble, but it didn't come easily. There was a rather harsh and shocking learning process involved, which I am going to tell you about.
One day my parents went out to lunch, leaving me behind to make myself food. Normally in these situations, I would just spread some peanut butter on some bread, and call it good. But that day I was feeling adventerous. I actually decided to cook myself up something.
I looked in the fridge to see what we had, and seeing a carton of eggs, grabbed it out, and set it on the counter, closing the fridge behind me. I had no idea how to cook an egg, but I figured I needed to get it out of its shell first.
I looked through the drawers until I found the meat tenderizer, and then set one of the eggs on a cutting board. I hefted the wooden mallet up, and slammed it down on the egg as hard as I could. It worked, but not quite in the way I had expected.
After I cleaned myself and the counter up, I looked around the kitchen to survey my options. There weren't many, so I chose what I thought would be the easiest. The blender.
Deciding to get the egg out of the shell AND cook it at the same, I put the egg in the blender, and the blender in a pan on the stove, and turned the heat up to full. I felt very clever as I popped the egg in the blender, and turned it on to high. Of course I didn't even think about a lid... the lid hadn't been on the blender at the time, so it didn't seem like something that would prove to be important. It turned out I was wrong, however.
Some of the egg stayed in the blender, so I left it there after turning the blender off, and went to watch television while my egg cooked.
Five minutes later, I started smelling something quite nasty, and ran into the kitchen to find that the bottom part of the blender was half melted. I killed the heat and threw the blender into the sink quickly, drenching it in water.
I took a third egg, and this time decided to use a knife to cut it open. Surprisingly, this worked to an extent. I decided to do it the simple way,and dumped the contents of the egg into the toaster, pushing a button to start the machine.
I felt like having a little tea, so I turned up all the burners on the stove, filled a pot, and âput the water onâ, flinging the pot's contents on the stove so it could heat up. I put 17 tea bags on the stove along with the water for good measure.
A while later the toaster popped, but the egg didn't. I looked into the toaster to see semi-cooked egg plastered all over the sides and bottom, and decided I didn't want to eat it. As I was dumping it out, one of the tea bag's caught on fire, the burst of flame startling me and making me drop the toaster on my toe. I jumped up and yelped, hitting the blender off the counter,and turning it on, so that it fell on the floor and started grating it up. More of the tea bags started catching on fire, and then the carton of eggs, which I had left too close to the stove, did as well. There was a lot of smoke at this point, and I was getting frantic. I quickly doused all the fire with water, turned off the blender and stove, picked up the toaster, and mopped up the water. After everything was finally put away and packed up, I breathed a sigh of relief.
And decided to make a peanut butter sandwich.
Lunch Time
I've never been a good cook. I know that now, and am thankful for that knowledge. It has saved me a lot of trouble, but it didn't come easily. There was a rather harsh and shocking learning process involved, which I am going to tell you about.
One day my parents went out to lunch, leaving me behind to make myself food. Normally in these situations, I would just spread some peanut butter on some bread, and call it good. But that day I was feeling adventerous. I actually decided to cook myself up something.
I looked in the fridge to see what we had, and seeing a carton of eggs, grabbed it out, and set it on the counter, closing the fridge behind me. I had no idea how to cook an egg, but I figured I needed to get it out of its shell first.
I looked through the drawers until I found the meat tenderizer, and then set one of the eggs on a cutting board. I hefted the wooden mallet up, and slammed it down on the egg as hard as I could. It worked, but not quite in the way I had expected.
After I cleaned myself and the counter up, I looked around the kitchen to survey my options. There weren't many, so I chose what I thought would be the easiest. The blender.
Deciding to get the egg out of the shell AND cook it at the same, I put the egg in the blender, and the blender in a pan on the stove, and turned the heat up to full. I felt very clever as I popped the egg in the blender, and turned it on to high. Of course I didn't even think about a lid... the lid hadn't been on the blender at the time, so it didn't seem like something that would prove to be important. It turned out I was wrong, however.
Some of the egg stayed in the blender, so I left it there after turning the blender off, and went to watch television while my egg cooked.
Five minutes later, I started smelling something quite nasty, and ran into the kitchen to find that the bottom part of the blender was half melted. I killed the heat and threw the blender into the sink quickly, drenching it in water.
I took a third egg, and this time decided to use a knife to cut it open. Surprisingly, this worked to an extent. I decided to do it the simple way,and dumped the contents of the egg into the toaster, pushing a button to start the machine.
I felt like having a little tea, so I turned up all the burners on the stove, filled a pot, and âput the water onâ, flinging the pot's contents on the stove so it could heat up. I put 17 tea bags on the stove along with the water for good measure.
A while later the toaster popped, but the egg didn't. I looked into the toaster to see semi-cooked egg plastered all over the sides and bottom, and decided I didn't want to eat it. As I was dumping it out, one of the tea bag's caught on fire, the burst of flame startling me and making me drop the toaster on my toe. I jumped up and yelped, hitting the blender off the counter,and turning it on, so that it fell on the floor and started grating it up. More of the tea bags started catching on fire, and then the carton of eggs, which I had left too close to the stove, did as well. There was a lot of smoke at this point, and I was getting frantic. I quickly doused all the fire with water, turned off the blender and stove, picked up the toaster, and mopped up the water. After everything was finally put away and packed up, I breathed a sigh of relief.
And decided to make a peanut butter sandwich.