relationship envolving sex

[gookmique]

well i finally got a girlfriend... hurray! :yeah:

....lol.....

anyway, i met this girl about 3 weeks ago. we've now been dating about 2 weeks. within this 2 weeks my girlfriend is already bringing up topics about sex. the problem is, i'm an 18 year old virgin. i've had/done fore-play before, and have had oral sex, but i've never had sex. i really don't know what to do... ya know? i mean, we've only been dating 2 weeks now. this seems a little fast paced, don't ya think? another issue, my penis is relatively small, only about 5 1/2 inches erect. i've heard that if girl really does care for you, then your penis size really doesn't matter... but come on, lets face the music, penis size really DOES matter, does it not? i'm almost to the point were i really DON'T care about my penis size, or the embaressment to follow, i just want to have sex so damn bad! i just don't want my girlfriend to be like "oh my god, its so cute and small... i'm dumping you"... you know what i mean?

does this relationship seem a little face paced? should i have sex with my girlfriend so soon? lets hear it...

[theOperaGhost]

Congrats on getting a girl friend!!

If you only met her about 3 weeks ago, that might be a bit fast paced. I would personally wait a little while longer, but if it feels right...I guess...make sure to be safe! Good luck!

[gookmique]

you think so man? should i go for it? ....i think i might.... i dunno though... i'm not the type of guy to "wait for the one"... i'll give it a little while longer i guess...

[theOperaGhost]

I'm not really saying go for it...it should be special, and if you've only known her for 3 weeks, that's not a strong relationship yet. Like I said, I'd wait, but that's just me. I also said that it might be a bit fast paced. Just do what feels right.

As for your penis size, I just wouldn't worry about it, bud. Five and a half isn't all that small. It's right in there with what is considered "average", 5-7 inches.

[Θάνατος]

I think you should wait on the sex. You need to spend more time getting to know this girl. You do not want to have your relationship based on sex. It will not last if it is. Take your time and make losing your virginity special and not rushed into. Well good luck and like Pianoman said be careful and safe.

[byee]

I agree with Jared and Rob (as I most often do). The issue isn't if this is 'fast paced' , it's what's comfortable for you and what you're ready for. That's different for each person. Some people have sex with near strangers, others need to wait for marriage.

The problem here, then, is that you and she have different needs and ideas about sex and when it should be introduced in a relationship. That happens sometimes, people often have different ideas about things, and that isn't necessarily a prob. It becomes one when one or the other sacrifices their needs for the other persons by doing whatever they want without being totally confortable with it themselves.

I think the solution here is to talk frankly with her about your concerns and what your comfort level is with sex. Being in a relationship means that you gradually unfold yourself to another person, and this sounds like one of those opportunities to do so.

With emotional intimacy comes the readiness to shed one's insecurities, even if you lack the experience to totally trust yourself and your own performance.

Talk with her.

[Avalikia]

I've always been taught, and I firmly believe, that in any relationship it's almost always better to go with the person who wants to take it slowly. Otherwise you've got one person who isn't sure if they should be doing what they're doing and will probably feel bad about it later. This is especially true when it comes to sex, especially the first time - you want to be absolutely certain that you're ready for it. If you're unsure, you should probably wait until you are. If your girlfriend can't wait for you to be ready, then she's probably not the sort of person you'd want to lose your virginity to anyway. Also, if you think she's the sort of person who would make fun of your penis then, again, she's probably not the sort of person you'd want to lose your virginity to.

[Maverick]

I agree with the above post.

[Sumitup]

You probably should wait a little longer before sex... especially if you aren't ready. Also your penis size is fine. You have nothing to worry about.

[BlackenedSilver]

I've always been taught, and I firmly believe, that in any relationship it's almost always better to go with the person who wants to take it slowly. Otherwise you've got one person who isn't sure if they should be doing what they're doing and will probably feel bad about it later. This is especially true when it comes to sex, especially the first time - you want to be absolutely certain that you're ready for it. If you're unsure, you should probably wait until you are. If your girlfriend can't wait for you to be ready, then she's probably not the sort of person you'd want to lose your virginity to anyway. Also, if you think she's the sort of person who would make fun of your penis then, again, she's probably not the sort of person you'd want to lose your virginity to.

I agree with that post.

Its really up to you whether you want to do it or not. If you dont feel ready then you dont have to do it, and if she pressures you into it then she's most likely not a nice girl, or the right person. Penis size shouldnt and doesnt matter, as long as it gets the job done :P
:D:D Hope it works out.

[rainebg]

If you really aren't comfortable with this than tell her how you feel because in my opinion it is a bit fast. Oh and unless u have an inch penis size shouldn't matter to most girls.

[gookmique]

well... my girlfriend and i attempted to have sex twice tonight... both times i could not get an erection. the first atempt i was bonerless, so i decided to go down on her.. i ate her out and fingered her, she cummed like 7 times she told me. we were then finished.. we waited about 2 1/2 hours and tired again i was then again bonerless.. she gave me a blowjob and that didn't even work... im just wondering what the hell is wrong with me? i feel really depressed that i can't perform correcty... i mean why was i unable to get erect? i know i don't have a problem or anything.. i can get erections, its just for some reason i can't get erect while i'm with a girl.. she says she isn't disappointed or angry.. she said "don't worry about it, shit happens"... god i feel fucking horrible...

can i not get erect because i'm scared to lose my virginity or something? :( :confused:

[theOperaGhost]

That sucks...I'm not sure why you couldn't get erect. The only thing I can think of, is maybe you were trying to hard? I don't know if that could be possible, but maybe you were thinking about it too much. Better luck next time? If you're scared to lose your virginity, maybe you shouldn't try yet.

[Maverick]

Maybe your body is trying to tell you something? You weren't sure about this from the start.

But what you experienced is completely normal and it happens more often than you think. Perhaps its a sign to wait awhile and actually get to know her more. Then when you feel more sure about it and you know and lover her more you can give it a try again.

[gookmique]

But what you experienced is completely normal and it happens more often than you think.

are you sure about that? i mean, it was possibly the most embaressing thing that has ever happened to me. maybe i have performance anxiety? i have no clue... maybe i'm so wrapped up about the size of my penis that i'm too embaressed to get erect? ugh... i just don't want this to happen again. do you guys know any techniques or w/e i could do to succum this problem i'm having?

If you're scared to lose your virginity, maybe you shouldn't try yet.

i'm not scared to lose my virginity.. i want it more than anything in the world.. especially with the girl i'm currently with.

[Maverick]

are you sure about that? i mean, it was possibly the most embaressing thing that has ever happened to me. maybe i have performance anxiety? i have no clue... maybe i'm so wrapped up about the size of my penis that i'm too embaressed to get erect? ugh... i just don't want this to happen again. do you guys know any techniques or w/e i could do to succum this problem i'm having?
Yes I am sure. Its happened to some close friends of mine, and I've been on this forum 2 and a half years and this isn't the first thread I've seen on this.

I just think you need to not worry about sex right now and actually focus on getting to know this girl. But I must ask, have you done any kind of other things with her before? I think you just need to just stick to the basics and go slowly. The problem is that you're rushing things too much and you're so caught up with losing your virginity you're losing focus on what sex is really all about.

And yes I know techniques. The technique is to get out of the fast lane and listen to your body. Wait a few months at least, even a year because by then you should be fully comfortable.

[gookmique]

But I must ask, have you done any kind of other things with her before?

umm, i've fingered her, and shes also given me a bj. i guess your right about this, i'm totally rushing it. i need to slow down and just go with the flow. i guess thats the reason why i was unable to perform correctly. i'm so caught up in losing my virginity likes its an obligation, rather than losing it for the right reasons.

[gookmique]

(sorry for the double post, just updating)

okay, so... i'm still dating this girl... the other night, unbeknownst to me, she planned on having sex, in the car, at her best friends house; with me ofcourse. my buddy dates her bestfriend, and he was at her house aswell. we were all standing in the front yard, and my buddy and his girlfriend (my girlfriend's best friend) headed to his car to do their busniess. well, my girlfriend and i were standing in the front yard holding each other, kissing and stuff, and she said she wanted to go in her car to have sex, in the back seat... my stomache just dropped and my mood totally faded away. she dragged me, not literally, to her car and we hopped in. i laid on top of her, and we started making out. i was totally nervous, breathing heavily, and i just couldn't get in the mood. i told her that i couldn't have sex in the car, it just wasn't in the cards. she then started coming up with multiple reasons how it was possible to have sex in the car, and that we've been dating for 2 1/2 months now without having sex. i knew i was the party pooper, but i wasn't going to loose my virginity in the back seat of a car.

so, we got out of the car, and it was awkward because we were standing near her car while my buddy and his girlfriend were getting their "freak" on. i looked her in the eyes and said "baby, what if this means something"? she got this dazed look in her eyes like i was about to say "what if i'm gay"... i'm not gay by the way... i then said "what if we arn't meant to be together"? she just looked at me and walked back into the house. i mean, the only reason why i said that is because we've attempted to have sex three times now... those three times i either couldn't get hard, or i was totally nervous. i mean, what if that means something? i mean, we've fooled around orally before... but we've never had sex. she knows i'm a virgin, and she wants to have sex with me so bad... i don't know why i'm like this... i can caress her body, kiss her body and hold her, and get hard as a rock, but right when we're going to have sex i totally lose my wood and the mood gets weird... why is this? :confused:

[theOperaGhost]

I still think you are probably just nervous. I also kind of just think you're trying to hard, thinking about it too much.

[Θάνατος]

Yeah I agree with thePianoman, I think you are nervous. I do agree that it is better to not plan our first time and just let it happen.

I will tell you that your first time will most likely be something that you regret.