1 year wasted . . .

[Attax]

Yeah, basically me and this girl have been dating about a year (official boyfriend girlfriend about half that time) and today she just randomly broke up with me. I was at her house and I asked her if she even cared about us anymore, and when I did she claims that she does care; however, she was sitting there texting and reading at the same time. Was it wrong for me to be pissed off at her and storm off to my car and ignore her whenever she tried to get my attention?

Is it wrong for me to feel like one whole year of my life has been wasted on her?

And is it wrong that she says she is there for me still whenever she wasn't this whole time?

[iJack]

No, no and no.

You seemed to love her, and she you. She might of felt left out, or maybe she was pressured in to it, or even she messed up, and felt you didnt deserve you, it could be may things, but dont lock her out.

[Attax]

Thanks, I guess it will just be hard, mostly because this is the second time I have been with her. I can't be just friends because I always fall in love with her, but she isn't the kind of girl I want to be with but I still can't help myself from being attracted to her. . . she is scared of being commited (yeah oddly enough the girl fears it) cause she does not want to get hurt. Even after one year she could not commit to really even care, and whenever she was breaking up with me I asked if she did care and she claimed she did whilst texting and reading a book . . . AND SHE HATES READING!!!!!! So I am so confused, she said she still wants to be friends, but I am not sure that I can do that. . . should I just give it some tiem?

[Zephyr]

You love, you lose, you learn.
All is not a waste.

[Θάνατος]

Wow that sounds like deja vu I went over to a ex g/f house today and went to a movie and all through the movie she got texts and on the way home it continued. So she gets real cold when we get to her house, so I ask her straight do you want me to leave because you seem preoccupied with something else. She tells me no, but I can tell something is wrong usually she is very talkative. Then she finally tells me she has plan for later on. I feel like shit and feel very used. So I can relate to how u feel after breaking up after being with this girl forover a year.

It is never a waste though you learn from all of your relatioships. You even learn in the bad ones trust me I have had enough bad ones.

[byee]

Golly, i'm sorry for you. A year's a long time.

To answer your q's, no it's not 'wrong' to feel angry with her. You lost something important to you, and it wasn't your choice. Anger seems pretty normal here.

No, you didn't waste a year of yor life. Just b/c it didn't work out doesn't me'n it wasn;t worthwhile. Success/worth is defined by what you got from something/someone, not the final result. You're feeling hurt and upset, it's interferring with your ability to see any of the good stuff from the time with her.

No, it's not wrong for her to say something nice to you, like her 'being there' for you. But it's also not necessary for you to believe it. A year's along time, and those feelings get strong, but they can (and did) change. That doesn't mean she doesn't have any feelings for you, just that they're different. I think she's trying to tell you that. She might actually be a better 'friend' than g/f.

I think loss takes some time to recover from. You're vulnerable now, just take some time to sort things out, get lots of support from your other friends, and see how you feel as things progress. Some people maintain contact, others need some space, whatever feels best. But, if you should continue to have contact, remember that it's different, she's not your g/f.

[Attax]

Thanks Sam, especially that last line. Right now I think I do just need some space from her, but I felt bad because she looked depressed at school today and I wanted to ask what was wrong but i was scared.

[serial-thrilla]

life exp is never a waste.

[byee]

Thanks Sam, especially that last line. Right now I think I do just need some space from her, but I felt bad because she looked depressed at school today and I wanted to ask what was wrong but i was scared.

Glad it was helpful! I don't think you need to be scared, but I think you should have really clear expectations about the purpose of asking and the goal: You're a nice guy who was emotionally involved with her, so you still care about her, so if you see her upset, you're asking based on that history of about her. But, remember, the 'caring' part is different now that she's ended the relationship, it's really over. So, you can be a gentleman and ask, but it's no longer your role (nor should you or she expect) you to make her feel better. That changed when she ended the relationship. You do this as a matter of courtesy (if you choose), not to take care of her or try to win her back.

[Attax]

Thanks, this has helped lots, but I have still yet to speak with her

[byee]

Glad it helped. FWIW, I think she made a mistake, you seem like a really nice guy.

One more thing? I think you were scared b/c showing some concern also reveals some vulnerability on your part, you're putting yourself out there, and perhaps the fear is that she'll reject you, again.

I think you're still bruised, there's this risk that she'll hurt you again by not responding to your gesture positively or kindly. Maybe you should just stay away for a while.

[Atonement]

Okay, as for the other two questions, I don't know, but I do know, that the year was not a waste. All of life's experiences help you learn and grow. So, through these trials and problems and troubles and all of the things wrong, will help you grow and become stronger.