How to tell her

[Patchy]

Wow its been ages since I've asked for advice, and this time I really do need it!

Basically I think I'm bi, I've known this for a while now but I'm only really starting to feel I really am Bi.

I have a gf who is straight and thinks I'm straight and we've had a serious relationship (have had sex 3 times now) and I want to let her know that I have felt attracted to guys in the past cause I hate having to not tell her.

I'm not entirely sure that I am bi but I want to tell her I think/I know I am

I hope this makes sense thanks guys!

[byee]

Phew! Glad I got this one so fast!

Patchy, there's only one right answer here, please trust me. Until you know for sure about something as complicated as your sexuality, it's really, absolutely, positively best to NOT share this with her. Right now, it's just something rattling around for you, you need time to sort it out and make sense of it first. That might take some time, and your relationship with her might be a very important component in that. Likewise, what you have with her sounds important and meaningful for you, it's a good thing to have. Discussing something potentially shocking to her that you are unsure about yourself does not help either you, or her, for that matter.

Sit with it a while, process it, noodle over it. You're not being dishonest, you're showing good judgement by not impulsively saying something that might be untrue, and have bad consequences, too.

[Patchy]

Thanks Sam, Some great advise there!

[rsc4life]

I have to agree with Sam here. I mean, there is a probable chance that could end your relationship, and it seems like you really don't want that to happen, so I'd keep it under your hat for the time being.

[Oblivion]

I agree with Sam
Don't tell her until you are 100% sure.

PS
To be honest i doubt you are Bi, but thats different

[Attax]

As all others have said, I agree with Sam. Because you do not want her to get freaked out and lose that good relationship.

Sorry, I am just focused on loss of relationship today because my girlfriend broke up with me today after almost a year, and it hurt, but we didnt have sex so I can imagine how hard that would be for you . . .

[Patchy]

I agree with Sam
Don't tell her until you are 100% sure.

PS
To be honest i doubt you are Bi, but thats different

The reason I think that I am is because I am sometimes physically attracted to guys however I couldnt never have a emotional attraction to guys.


Thanks for all advice so far!

[byee]

well, golly gee whiz! I think this is the first time everyone has been in agreement with me! And a good thing, too. I'm really confident here of the soundness of working thru this within yourself before you share anything with anyone.

As an FYI, Patchy, being physically attracted to a guy (without the emotional piece) probably indicates you have 20/20, rather than what's in your heart.

[Hyper]

Yeah... Not a good idea

Thats all I can say

[Patchy]

Ok thanks guys Im not gonna bother telling her.