Should I go to a party?

[Callwaiting]

Well I'm facing a kinda weird situation here, which kind of annoys me as it could be avoided completely if I had more friends or was cooler, but anyway..

I was invited to this picnic on Tuesday, it's more of a day-party though. Heaps of people are going and there's going to be free weed and drinks in some park.

The thing is, to be honest I'm a pretty big loser, and I'll hardly know anyone there, 90% of the people coming I won't have ever met before, most have dropped out or go to different schools.
I'm not sure if I'll have any fun at all, or if I'll just be sitting by myself the whole time wishing I was gone.
The other thing is, even if I don't have any fun there, it'll give me something to talk about to people at school, and I'm terrible at talking to people, so it would give me some normal conversation if nothing else.

I know it's ultimately my decision, but I would like to hear what you guys have to say, what would you do? I respect the people on VT a lot and would value your opinions, because right now I'm really not sure at all.

Thanks

[Sapphire]

Why don't you go along and see what it's like? Get chatting with people and you could have a good time. If you aren't having a good time then stay an appropriate length of time and then thank the person who invited you and excuse yourself by saying that you have to go as your family are expecting you home. That way you are going, mingling with people, can have a good time and are under no obligation to stay for the whole thing.

[byee]

I think the real issues are the people who will be in attendance and the activities they'll be engaged in.

If these are people you like (or would like) based on who they are, what their interests are, what they like to do, and so forth, then you go. If the activities are ones you enjoy, you go. If not, then you don't go. it's about your assessment of those factors, not you and your situation/feelings that you might use to help make the decision.

I don't think you should allow your lonliness and negative self perceptions to determine what you do and who you do it with. People who respond based on their own neediness often make mistakes, b/c they're not thinking and assessing things as clearly as they otherwise could, would, or should. When that happens, we're responding from a position of vulnerability, not strength, and that's when bad things are more likely to happen, when we're more likely to get hurt, because we're doing things (or being with people) we know we really shouldn't be with.

Decide if these are people you want to hang out with and if these are things you want to do, independently of how you might feel about yourself. Sometimes, it's imortant to spread yourself around and take some risks, and sometimes it's just better to be alone.

[pontiacdriver]

Well I'm facing a kinda weird situation here, which kind of annoys me as it could be avoided completely if I had more friends or was cooler, but anyway..

I was invited to this picnic on Tuesday, it's more of a day-party though. Heaps of people are going and there's going to be free weed and drinks in some park.

The thing is, to be honest I'm a pretty big loser, and I'll hardly know anyone there, 90% of the people coming I won't have ever met before, most have dropped out or go to different schools.
I'm not sure if I'll have any fun at all, or if I'll just be sitting by myself the whole time wishing I was gone.
The other thing is, even if I don't have any fun there, it'll give me something to talk about to people at school, and I'm terrible at talking to people, so it would give me some normal conversation if nothing else.

I know it's ultimately my decision, but I would like to hear what you guys have to say, what would you do? I respect the people on VT a lot and would value your opinions, because right now I'm really not sure at all.

Thanks

The first concern I have is that this party is taking place on a Tuesday which I am going to assume is a school day. I would never miss school to attend a party, especially if you don't know most of the people and will otherwise be sidelined. I would never sacrifice your future for a couple of hours of fun especially if attending this party will set you behind in terms of school work or get you into trouble with your parents.

Secondly, reading between the lines, it does not seem that you are really enthusiatic about attending this party through your mentioning of your not knowing many people, the presence of drugs & alcohol, and the fact that most of the people attending this party are drop outs from school. In the end of the day you need to honestly ask yourself if the people attending this party are your class of people who meet your standards of friendship and who are people with whom you would feel comfortable associating on a regular basis. Friends should be people that uplift you and help you perform your best in life, and your choice of friends should never be a hindrance towards your overall development.

Thirdly, as for this party providing talking points for you with your mates at school, the fact remains that in reality you can really only talk about the events of this party for a maximum of a week before the stories start to get old and repetitive. My view is that you should not attend this party just for the sake of getting some talking points; you should go to this party only if you feel comfortable with the activities going on at it and would have a meaningful interactions with the others at the party. As for talking points with your classmates, it is far better to get involved in school activities or things like it that are productive over the long-term so that you can develop a core group of friends. It is far better to have a small group of quality friends than a large quantity of people with whom you simply associate.

Finally, you need to look at your overall safety at attending this event. The last thing you need to happen is to attend a Cory Delaney-style event where things get out of hand. Especially with your not knowing many people at this party you don't want to be in a situation where you are isolated. If you do attend this party, then make sure that you are with at least two other people that you completely trust so that you will have someone to whom to turn if there are problems.

[DarkWingedAngel]

ok if u wan't to go then go if u don't then don't but if there is goin to be drinking and drugs dont drink alot or u will get in a heck of alot of truble
if u no what i mean;)

[rsc4life]

The first concern I have is that this party is taking place on a Tuesday which I am going to assume is a school day. I would never miss school to attend a party, especially if you don't know most of the people and will otherwise be sidelined. I would never sacrifice your future for a couple of hours of fun especially if attending this party will set you behind in terms of school work or get you into trouble with your parents.

Secondly, reading between the lines, it does not seem that you are really enthusiatic about attending this party through your mentioning of your not knowing many people, the presence of drugs & alcohol, and the fact that most of the people attending this party are drop outs from school. In the end of the day you need to honestly ask yourself if the people attending this party are your class of people who meet your standards of friendship and who are people with whom you would feel comfortable associating on a regular basis. Friends should be people that uplift you and help you perform your best in life, and your choice of friends should never be a hindrance towards your overall development.

Thirdly, as for this party providing talking points for you with your mates at school, the fact remains that in reality you can really only talk about the events of this party for a maximum of a week before the stories start to get old and repetitive. My view is that you should not attend this party just for the sake of getting some talking points; you should go to this party only if you feel comfortable with the activities going on at it and would have a meaningful interactions with the others at the party. As for talking points with your classmates, it is far better to get involved in school activities or things like it that are productive over the long-term so that you can develop a core group of friends. It is far better to have a small group of quality friends than a large quantity of people with whom you simply associate.

Finally, you need to look at your overall safety at attending this event. The last thing you need to happen is to attend a Cory Delaney-style event where things get out of hand. Especially with your not knowing many people at this party you don't want to be in a situation where you are isolated. If you do attend this party, then make sure that you are with at least two other people that you completely trust so that you will have someone to whom to turn if there are problems.





sorry to bother you, but unless I am very much mistaken, Tuesday is the holiday of Rosh Hashana, so he may have it off.

[DarkWingedAngel]

nope ur right but still regular schools have the school day
only the jewish schools get out

[Gumleaf]

just to clear the holiday thing up. this dude is from australia and so am i and i know for a fact that next week is spring break for us, its not a school day.

[DarkWingedAngel]

oo ok

[Callwaiting]

Sorry for taking so long to respond :P
You guys have posted pretty good advice which has cleared up a few of the things I was wondering.
Like Gumleaf said, here in Sydney we just started the holidays, so it won't be on a schoolday.
The people that are going who I know, I get along with pretty well, so I'm just going to be myself and hopefully have a good time.

[Antares]

I think that maybe you shod think about some pros and cons of the situation. If the pros outnumber the cons then go. If there are more cons then don't

[BlackenedSilver]

I think you should go. You know as you said its a chance to talk to some people you have never met there, and a chance to talk to people at school about it.
But, you are not a loser! You just need to give people to chance to get to know you, I know you and I like you! :D:D