Should I be concerned

[ilikeitsloppy]

Hey guys,

I just signed up because I have a question. I was over at my friends house for his birthday party. He is one of my best friends, and I was shocked at what he did. When we were about to eat cake, (quick note, it was just me and him together in his room with the cake) he let me know that he likes food in a sexual way. I don't really know how to describe it. He asked me if I wanted a piece of cake, and I said yes, at which point I noticed his dick was poking out of his loose fitting athletic shorts. As soon as I took the first bite, he grunted and told me that he is into food :confused: I don't really want to get too far into it, but I think my friend is really messed up. Any tips?

I know this sounds stupid but I promise you, I don't even know how to explain it.

[Mzor203]

Is he trying to make a move on you? Is that the problem? I'm a little confused by this, but if he does anything that makes you uncomfortable, just ask him to stop.

[ilikeitsloppy]

Thanks for the advice, that is kinda the problem. He is my best friend though, and I don't know how to bring it up. He did a bit more but I don't really want to get into it, I think he is a bit messed up now. He never acted like this before, so I don't really know what to do. It was just really awkward when he grunted after I ate the cake, I think he might of made a mess if you know what I mean.

[Mzor203]

That's kind of weird. It may be hard to bring it up with him, but I would suggest you take him aside and ask him what it was about, and why he acted so weirdly. I think you deserve an explanation.

[pontiacdriver]

There are all sorts of fetishes out there, and your friend's getting aroused by food is something that does occur. My guess is that at some point in his life he must have associated sexuality with food thus causing his reaction. It seems like puberty is hitting your friend like a brick wall and that he is probably really overwhelmed with his changes.

With all that being said, if you don't feel at all comfortable discussing sexuality with your friend, then you need to nip such an issue in the bud. You should emphasize to your friend that you will always like him as a friend but that you two cannot ever be anything more than that and doing anything sexual with him is not possible. Your friend should never have exposed his penis as that really was inappropriate.

Finally, I think that fetishes are a lot more common than anyone wishes to admit, and as long as a fetish is not an obsession, harmful to others, or harmful to oneself, then I reckon having one is not abnormal. If you are close to his guy, then tell him that you are concerned about his most recent behaviour. Chances are your friend was horny and nothing more, but still let him know that you felt uncomfortable so that he knows the limits of acceptable behaviour.

[ilikeitsloppy]

Thank you both for responding. I went over to my friends house today to talk to him, and I think our friendship might be over. When I brought up the subject, he got extremely defensive, which was a shock to me. I also noticed in the corner of his room on his nightstand a twinkie that looked like it was "used". Seeing that really sealed the deal and I don't think I will be talking to him anymore. Should I wait a little while and try to talk to him again?h

[Antares]

Ahh, this is sometimes typical when a friend leaks out a piece of information, they get self conscious. I think you just need to lay-off and not talk to him about it anymore. Maybe that will help show him that you can be trusted and that you're a good friend.

[pontiacdriver]

Ahh, this is sometimes typical when a friend leaks out a piece of information, they get self conscious. I think you just need to lay-off and not talk to him about it anymore. Maybe that will help show him that you can be trusted and that you're a good friend.

I totally agree with this post, and unless your friend tries to do anything inappropriate with you, then I would not stop being his friend. Sexuality is a very personal thing, and it is understandable that anyone would get very sensitive if confronted about their sexual practices.

In the end of the day you know this friend best and are the only person who knows whether or not a relationship with him can be preserved. If you two have been really close and otherwise on good terms for a long while, then I would not abruptly end your friendship. Just make sure that your relationship stays away from anything sexual, and let your friend know that talking about his sexual interests is a red line that cannot be crossed. As much as you respect your friend's privacy he should do the same for you.

[wavey]

Weird. But i think he was just joking on.. lol..

Ask him round for a group jack off.. that might soothe his needs.. Or he might turn aroiund and run awya :)

[byee]

First, I'm not sure this qualifies as a fetish. Unusual, maybe. But more b/c you didn't know his 'enjoyment' of food, and weren't expecting it. Since we don't know what's going on in his head, we cannot determine what it means to him or if it qualifies as a true fetish, or just something that he's found feels nice against his penis. You might be confusing your emotional response (shock) with a deeper meaning here, and it might be more harmless than you think.

OK, that said, i think you might want to seperate your unpreparedness for this event and your reaction to it, from judging your friend and the entire worth of the friendship as a whole. You can be surprised about something, unsettled by it, even disapproving of it, and still put it into perspective and not use it to judge the entire friendship. What he did struck you as unusual, but it's not dangerous, it's not harmful, and it doesn't involve you.

If you can settle yourself, you might want to consider the friendship as a whole, it's worth to you without this startling new development. If there's value in that friendship, then you might want to simply tell him you did not appreciate what happened in the bedroom that day, and that you need him to not repeat it with you there.

As you get older and make new friends, you might find that friends reveal values and beliefs and behaviors that are different than yours, and that rather judge the friendship (or the person) exclusively by them, you might want to take a more nuanced approach by determining the effects these behaviors might have on you directly, even if you do not agree or understand them.

[ilikeitsloppy]

I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on the situation. My friend killed himself 2 days ago due to events in his life. I learned from his father that he was raped when he was 6 and forced to eat large amounts of food while it was going on. So, yeah, just wanted to let you know the outcome. I lost my best friend in this so I need to take some time to recover. I wish I had known about these events earlier, I would of been more understanding when he pulled out his penis during the cake eating.

[paganprince]

thats quite disturbing.... it made me think he had put something into the cake before you ate it if you know where im comming from maybe he made the mess you talk about before he watched you eat it making him grunt like that...

[Fenderjag69]

>.< you guys are foolish its obvious this was a joke

[justateen93]

lol i one time got turned on by cake batter

[pontiacdriver]

I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on the situation. My friend killed himself 2 days ago due to events in his life. I learned from his father that he was raped when he was 6 and forced to eat large amounts of food while it was going on. So, yeah, just wanted to let you know the outcome. I lost my best friend in this so I need to take some time to recover. I wish I had known about these events earlier, I would of been more understanding when he pulled out his penis during the cake eating.

I am so sorry to hear about your friend and his suicide. As I had mentioned earlier, fetishes usually have a basis upon some event in a person's life, and there is no doubt that his associating sex with food was a result of his rape. I am sure that as he hit puberty all of the sexual feelings suddenly reminded him of his rape and made him feel really bad.

Don't ever blame yourself for what had happened as you responded to your friend's behaviour to the best of your ability. The fact remains that you came on here to try to understand your friend and see if there was anything you could have done to someone deal with his behaviour. To complete suicide a person has to have had a lot of terrible issues in his/her life to finally make such a decision. It is going to be super hard to deal with your friend's suicide, and it is critical that you vent your feelings. Remember your friend for being a good guy and for all the fun times that you had, and don't remember him through the most unfortunate recent incident you had with him and food.

I sincerely hope that things work out for you as it is going to take a lot of time, tears, and counseling to get over your feelings. However, things are going to work out for you, and you will be able to be more understanding in the future if you are confronted with a difficult situation.

[Adude]

He is like my friend.He was like that only without the food obsetion!
He would invite me over to his house and we would play football
and then play computer games.But then as it would get late nad dark
he would [litteraly] strip in frount of me!
Now i dont mind..as we have masterbated with each other and stuff!
But still he noes i have a gf so he wouldnt try anything i wouldnt want!
I hope i helped..any more problems just PM me!:D

[please help me 69]

guys do actually think the guy is joking about his friend

[ilikeitsloppy]

Guys,
If you think I'm joking and your not taking me seriously then thats really wrong, I know its a weird story but I swear its true. If you guys think im lying then dont reply to this thread, I just wanted some help.

[Maverick]

I never believed this from the start either.

[paganprince]

to me it sounds like the old penis in a hot dog bun.. or penis in the pocket "hey babi i got candy in my pocket reach on in there and"..... but if it's realy real ? i have to agree with the other guy.. sad about the suicide but.. it's one less pervert on the planet.. sorry but it's just my poinion ,people like that start with things like that and go onto bigger things and as the snowball rolls down the hill it gets bigger and bigger untill it's out of control , maybe your friend got it easy he didnt turn into a big ball he burned out at the top of the hill

[Trickster]

im very sorry for what happened. When u said he commited suicide i litteraly gasped and was taken by surprise. and i sure hope it not a joke because if ur friend really did die then it would be hell. I would say that if another friend does something like that and say that he/she likes something or does something that is not normal for u. U should :

1:take a breath and let it digest in your mind
2: think before u say another word
3: ask them more about it, when did it start, how, why
4: be open, make a joke thats not offensive. like if a friend comes out as gay say " well ive always wanted a gay friend" something light and humoroes to show u dont care as long as they are still thm
5: dont act different in public or private. Ur friends for a reason so dont let them getting older and changing get in da way

Thats all i got. and this may be blunt but u shoulnt wait next time. You should go be with them more because they confided to u for a reason. Dont be distance, it like avoiding them or not wanting to speak to them, they could feel they lost there best friend. it was a big step and u need to understand that. Ask questions , be assertive, be stubborn and ask him all u want. If they say no, u say no. U wanna know more about there life u didnt know and they hinted. They hinted it for a reason.
Im sorry for ur loss.

[The Batman]

The fact that your friend just did it out in the open doesn't really make sense and since he told you about a disturbing fetish like that why didn't he tell you about him being raped. Also the way you post doesn't seem like there is any remorse so all of that leads me to believe that his might not be real. If it is real I'm truly sorry though.

[rainebg]

to me it sounds like the old penis in a hot dog bun.. or penis in the pocket "hey babi i got candy in my pocket reach on in there and"..... but if it's realy real ? i have to agree with the other guy.. sad about the suicide but.. it's one less pervert on the planet.. sorry but it's just my poinion ,people like that start with things like that and go onto bigger things and as the snowball rolls down the hill it gets bigger and bigger untill it's out of control , maybe your friend got it easy he didnt turn into a big ball he burned out at the top of the hill
This was a very insensitive to say! Why would you say that? I sort of get your reasoning but if you lost a friend and he didn't do anything wrong and someone said that his death was good because it MIGHT have prevented something how pissed would you be!? i know id be mad as hell!

[notsure101]

Ok im cnfused so he is attracted to food ok..... but wat did i get this right he said something sexual about it?

[iceyfresh]

i am a bi sexual and i have a lot of gay and bi friends weve never heard of come ons like that so strange maybe he was trying to be funny

[oakleighboy]

guys you do realize by saying his story is not true your making it worse and worse for him. just in case his story is true(witch i think it is) what he needs now is support not guys saying that hes making up bullshit.

[theOperaGhost]

OP hasn't been on in several weeks. So :locked:
If the OP wants it opened again, he can PM me.