my friends problem to my advantage......

[dmeek7]

ok....is it wrong for me to try to use my friends greif and loss to my advantage.........so in the last half year my best lady friend has had a couple of losses.....2 of her close friends commited suicide in the last half year.......and shes been really edgy latley and kinda needy.....so....for the question above....is it wrong to use my friends loss to my advantage...i kinda want to get her to go out wif me, make out, oral, in bed....ect.... is it wrong for me to try to get her to do that when shes vulnerable like this

[Mzor203]

Yes, it is wrong to use that to your advantage. There is nothing wrong with comforting her and being her friend, but in this case you want to remain no more than that unless SHE specifically makes a move or gives a signal of some sort.

She is going through a very hard time, and she probably doesn't need any more complications in her life right now unless she feels she can take them on.

Second thing, do you actually love her? Right now I'm thinking that's not exactly the case, reading this:

i kinda want to get her to go out wif me, make out, oral, in bed

You don't want to go out with her because you love her? That is the one thing you didn't say in that sentence. So, I don't think you do, in which case I think that, no, you should not use her position to your advantage. That is a terribly un-moral thing to do, and it's not nice to her, especially if she did have feelings for you.

If all you want from her is to do things like make out and have sex, it's time to forget about it and wait until you have found a girl you really love.

[ShatteredWings]

fuck. yes.

I'm sorry, but using that against someone is MORALLY wrong. Are you a narcissist? How can you consiter using a girl for you're own pleasure??
You disgust me by this post. You'd use someone who's "needy" like that? you acknowledge that you're basically abusing that.

How can you do that?

[byee]

As usual, Rex says things very politely. Let me blunt. Intentionally using this girl's fragility and vulnerability for your own sexual advantage would make you a real scum bag.

This girl has just experienced major personal tragedies, she needs TLC and emotional support. I don't know why you cannot see that, and the inappropriateness of using her fragility for your own selfish purposes, but I'd frankly encourage you to examine your motives here and reassess what they say about you, and maybe make some changes before these ideas become part of who you are.

[ShatteredWings]

As usual, Rex says things very politely. Let me blunt. Intentionally using this girl's fragility and vulnerability for your own sexual advantage would make you a real scum bag.

This girl has just experienced major personal tragedies, she needs TLC and emotional support. I don't know why you cannot see that, and the inappropriateness of using her fragility for your own selfish purposes, but I'd frankly encourage you to examine your motives here and reassess what they say about you, and maybe make some changes before these ideas become part of who you are.

I think you put it too politely. I guess you can't help but, but yeah. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF SOMEONE IS WRONG

that's all i have to say on the topic.

[dmeek7]

i havent done it yet......i am asking if it would be wrong as if to do it or not.....but thanx all ur very NICE explanations tells me i shouldnt do that and just be her friend

[ShatteredWings]

Well, i think you know the answer... Don't do that

[Nihilus]

yes it is wrong to take advantage of someone who is going through a tough time. Also the
point of a healthy relationship isn't about having sex. Sex should come when you are deep in a relationship.

[Falk 'Ace' Flyer]

Chances are if you tried to get her to give you oral she'd smack you, tell everyone you have AIDS, and never talk to you again.

[brunza244311]

umm.... yes! you make it sound soo bad when you talk about oral.. but if u really like her then go for not just for sex!

[dmeek7]

again thanx.......but...ived moved on and have another gf....sooo...thanx....requesting lock plz

[broadwaydude]

R U BLIND. Yes some thing as sad as two of her friends commiting suicide. And ur thinking about hooking up. I think it's completely wrong!

[dmeek7]

I know that this is a old thread, but I feel like I need to defend myself. For starters no one knew the whole story, and I appologize for that. If you knew the whole story you would know that she wanted someone to bounce back on..she ASKED me to be her bounce back. she didnt want to go out so thats why i WANTED to go out with her...and i appologize for making everyone think that I am an insensitive person. To ease everyone, I want everyone to know that I didnt take advantage of it.. I was her friend and i dont want to brag but thanks to me she is alright and has been since then. Me and her are best friends and we are liking brother and sister and im happy.

[StraightAcE]

lol good for you

2 years ha

[Natz802]

hey Meek
don't know who u were talking about specifically but I understand what u mean by the girl wanting to bounce back with someone... even I was looking for someone to bounce back with after 9/4/08... I can definately understand how it would be worse if someone lost another friend the same way in that time frame... I'm disappointed that u even had to ask the question but I'm glad u did the right thing... b/c who ever u r talking about was obviously in a very unstable mental place... I'm glad ur still good friends with who ever it was...

[Gumleaf]

hey Meek
don't know who u were talking about specifically but I understand what u mean by the girl wanting to bounce back with someone... even I was looking for someone to bounce back with after 9/4/08... I can definately understand how it would be worse if someone lost another friend the same way in that time frame... I'm disappointed that u even had to ask the question but I'm glad u did the right thing... b/c who ever u r talking about was obviously in a very unstable mental place... I'm glad ur still good friends with who ever it was...

please don't post in old threads. thanks :)

locking