Another poem... Can I have feedback?

[rsc4life]

He's ill at heart, of course, we must pick at the branches of the olive tree
better than the spring of water in your eyes
sitting in a comfy red couch
duck tape and gum
formica and dirt
and so it goes.
he listens with an open mind
and a guarded pen,
willing to place himself before the other fools.
conscience? I don't think so...

[Nihilus]

Nice! I like it! Keep up the poems!

[trn19]

Yeah, I think it is quite good. I don't know how old you are, but you could really turn into a very good poet.

[rsc4life]

I'm 14

[DaretoFallup]

thats really good

[trn19]

I'm 14

Well, you certainly have talent. It's very, very rare for a 14 year old to write a poem like this. Keep practicing!