Issues...

[Spinder]

My relationship has been on very rough waters since the beginning. Yet somehow, I've managed to hold it together. We even got into a physical fight and broke up back in July and then got back together a few weeks later...

A few days ago, loverface tells me they almost had sex with some street rat at a party, but that they still consider themself a virgin because there was "barely any penetration" and that it was forced, and that it only lasted a few seconds before the person took off. Then last night, loverface decides to add a new part to the story and says that the person came back later and they did have sex after all.

Needless to say, I was extremely disgusted and upset. There has always been a trust issue, but it never really bothered me until now. Honestly, what should I do about this? This is just haunting my thoughts like crazy and it's killing me so badly...

[Maverick]

If I were you I'd end the relationship. You can't have a relationship without trust and seeing that it was bad from the start, and now goes behind your back and has sex, I doubt it has any chance to rebuild.

Your partner lied, cheated, and has no respect for your feelings. Its time to end it.

[Spinder]

I'm not sure if they've cheated on me or not... this supposedly happened two and a half years ago (long before we even met), but still...

Thank you Maverick..

[Maverick]

Well the fact it happened two and a half years ago changes things. He was at least honest about it (although maybe not fully at first) is something worth noting. He at least told you of what happened.

It sounds to me then you have insecurity and trust issues. Something that happened long ago shouldn't have this much effect on you especially since he was honest.

As long as he's given you no reason to mistrust him during the relationship, then you have no reason to feel that way. You just have to calm yourself down and not let it get to you. No one is going to be perfect.

[byee]

Only using the loosest def of 'cheating' would give this scoundrel a pass.

Getting physical with you and being sexual with someone else (regardless of penetration) is a betrayal in just about anyone's book. You just have problems letting go. It's better to be alone.

[Sapphire]

I don't see why this is causing you to feel so strongly. The fact that it happened long before you met him means that (regardless of how late/soon you were made aware of it) it should not be a major thing.

That said, a relationship cannot last if there are trust issues between you both.