Eye Contact

[Callwaiting]

Does anyone else have this problem that I do?

I can never look someone in the eye for more than a few seconds, not even my family.
I'm not sure what causes it, I just feel like I'm intruding or something, or maybe I'm afraid of connecting with them, that letting them see my eyes would let them see inside me, which I don't want anyone to see.

I was just interested to see if someone else did it, and for what reason.

[antimonic]

its not a problem, i do it too but its more to do with manners. i just feel like id be staring if i maintained eye contact for too long. and its with everyone, even my girlfriend

[byee]

Personally, when I'm talking with, or listening to someone, I maintain eye contact fairly consistently. It is a way you make contact with them and also let them know you're atttending to them.

There are lots of reasons why people cannot do this, you might try maintaining that contact, avoid the urge to look away, and see what comes up for you inside, how you feel. That feeling might help you define what/why it is that prevents you from doing it.

[Callwaiting]

I think it's more to do with rudeness than anything else, like antimonic said.
It's probably encouraged by the fact I hate people looking at me, for any reason.

But I'm not sure, I know most people like to maintain eye contact when talking and consider it rude not to be looked in the eye.
So I'm trying to avoid being rude by being even ruder?

[gookmique]

i actually used to be the same way... i could never look anyone in the eyes when i was younger... roughly 3-4 years ago... untill i moved into my mother's house, her boyfriend told me something that really is the truth and makes sense: "you only remember the people you make eye contact with"... and the fact of the matter is, i can remember someone when i make eye contact with them... another factor to do with myself making eye contact, i make it a priority now, is that its a mature thing to do... generally when someone is talking with you it's polite to make eye contact and be attentive... would you like it if someone was unattentive and didn't make eye contact with you when you were talking with them?

[foof1]

Well, my english teacher says that the eyes are the window to the soul. Because of that he is always making eye contact with us. By looking into someones eyes you can tell if they are guilty or innocent. Maybe you feel guilty about something.

[Zazu]

Hmmm well from what you said you have something that you're hiding from people; depression, guilt, anger, bad self-image?

If the reason that you're not making eye contact any more is because you feel that you don't want to give away your thoughts to your family, then you could maybe try talking about your problems / what you're hiding with your doctor / a good friend. People here on VT are always happy to help you too :) It's not good if you keep bad thoughts constantly locked up inside of you, and talking about them with someone might make you feel more comfortable with yourself and more comfortable with your family too.

[Donkey]

I used to be like this, it eventually stops and it's fine.

[Patchy]

I'm like that with some people, mainly people that have hurt me emotionally in the past.

But with the majority of people eye contact is no problem for me.

[ShatteredWings]

i don't look people in the eye much.

Only if i really want their attention, or i'm really comfertable with them

I don't know why

[The Resurrected One]

girl;372157']i don't look people in the eye much.

Only if i really want their attention, or i'm really comfertable with them

I don't know why

I am pretty much the same.

[khaos14]

I'm like that too. I can't look people straight in the eye without getting uncomfortable. It really makes me look bad. (when I meet new people some have said I appear anti-social. My friends understand though. That doesn't help thought when your dad is introducing you to his boss or an important person. btw: I'm kinda shy most of the time, I don't know if this has anything to do with it. Anyways I don't know if this is just like you or not, but I hope you know that you aren't alone.

[snow661]

you really need to work on looking people in the eyes, your future boss can take it the wrong way.

[crimson6]

I feel the need to check all my buttons and zippers...lol

[botwa]

well there are people who don't look in the eyes. I think that's normal. don't worry. maybe you're just too shy.

[Ambrosia]

Please don't bump old threads! :locked: