help

[DarkWingedAngel]

ok so u no the thred i got about my freind james and the pool thing well today we were in the pool agen and he did the same thing and everything except he asked me out but he was like masterbating me and everything
i told him that i would think about it
what should i do

[Antares]

Girls Puberty :arrow: Dating and Relationships

[byee]

Desi, I missed the 'other' James/pool thread, so I'm not sure what happened the first time, it sounds sexual, though.

There seem to be 2 issues here, though. The first is his masturbating you, I'm hoping this was consensual (you agreed to it, it was OK for him to do it). The second is his asking you out.

Masturbating you before he asks you to go out is sorta doing it backwards, usually people are going out, they're acknowledging they're actually in a relationship, before they do sexual things. By doing it your way, it complicates things, b/c there's expectation that this behavior will continue if you say yes to going out. That's OK (maybe it's not, IDK), but it does change things significantly, and you might want to consider if that's such a good thing. Usually, people start by getting to know what's above the waist first, in your case, you're starting from a very sexual place, which makes it more difficult to concentrate on actually getting to know the person.

[DarkWingedAngel]

we have been friends for a long time btw so i no him very well

i still don't no if i should say yes or not plzz help



[Please use edit button :) -thesphinx]

[The Batman]

It depends on how you feel about him. If you really like him then say yes.

[byee]

Desi, you have to do what you want here, do you know what that is, what you want? And, is it the same as what he wants? Relationships of any type at any age work out best when both have the same things in mind.

I think your friend James just wants to experiment with you sexually. If that's what you want, and it's OK that he might see you just as a thing to experiment with, then you might consider it. If, on the other hand, being someone's toy doesn't work for you, or you're not as interested in just the sexual piece, you might want to pass, as the difference bt'wn your needs and expectations is pretty significant from his.

In either event, it might be best to ask him why he wants to go out with you, and maybe clarify the bounds oif the relationship and see if he's still OK with no touching unless you guys discuss and agree on this beforehand.

[thesphinx]

I think if you do end up "going out" with him you have to make sure you communicate because judging from the last thread about the pool he did not really ask you what you wanted or how you felt.
I find that a problem but that is just me, all I can say is COMMUNICATE.

[DarkWingedAngel]

ok thanx guys