My best friend self harms.

[Charlotte_]

So today, me and my best friend got a bit drunk. It happens. We had an argument, and I left her house. About half an hour later she called me saying she was locked out of her Mum's house, and that her legs hurt. She then explained that she "was sorry" and "had cut her legs for me so I didn't need to be angry anymore". She was still really drunk at this point, and it was the most horrible phone call I've ever recieved.

I knew she had self harmed before I'd even met her, but she had stopped. I suspected she might have been doing it again but I was too scared to bring it up.

When she was sober, we spoke about it. She said she'd been doing it on and off for about 2 years. She said it was more of a habbit than out of depression. I told her I wanted her to stop, and she said it wasn't that easy, which I understand.

Eventually she said that if it worried me that much, she would get help. Problem is, I don't really know where she can get help from. I said I'd go with her to the doctors or something, but does a normal doctor even help with that sort of thing? I'm completely lost!

I'm really, really angry at her, but I love her so much, and I don't want her to do this anymore. Can someone help me?

[NextToNormal]

she cut her legs for you so that you wouldnt be angry anymore?? personally, that would make me really upset because you dont need to cut to make me not mad at you. doing that is what would make me kinda mad.
you are being a great friend by offering to go with her to get help because right now, she needs your support. a normal doctor can help with that by referring you to different help centers or psychologists. the doctor will have her best interest at heart just like you do. trying to get her help is really the best thing you can do for her besides being there.

[Charlotte_]

It did upset me, a lot. And everytime I think about it, I want to cry. It was such a petty argument as well.
Thank you so much! I'll speak to her again about it tomorrow and see if she'll still agree to go.

[NextToNormal]

its no problem at all. im glad to help. good luck tomorrow. if you ever wanna PM me to talk or something i'd be happy to listen and help in any way i can

[byee]

A couple of things: First, you're dismissing your getting drunk, I think you might want to reconsider it. Alcohol is a disinhibitor, and if you're with someone with a history of cutting, and you get into an argument with her when you've gotten pissed, then you should consider the possibility that she might lose control and cut. People who have difficulty with self control of these things shouldn't be drinking, as it's more likely to facilitate their cutting. In addition to getting treatment for self harm, she should really be encourged to not get drunk.

Second, you and she seem way overinvolved with eachother, if she's placing the responsibility for her actions (cutting) on you, as well as her willingness to get help on you, she's making you entirely too responsible for entirely too much here. You cannot be responsible for her well being AND her getting treatment to ensure that, it's not reasonable. I think her parents need to be involved here, it's their responsibility to help her, not yours. Sure, you can (and should) support her efforts, but it's entirely too much responsibility for you as a friend. help her develop a plan to tell her parents about her problems here, and support her efforts in doing so.

Her parents will know how and where to get the help, that's what parents do. Help her come up with a way to comfortably tell them so they can take on their responsibility here, and you can play the supporting role a good friend should.