havent been this bad in ages

[///James///]

The title says it all, I have never been so down before in a good few months, its seriously annyoing. I'm at the moment restraining myself from cutting, by staying on the comp and not going near anything sharp.

i hate this

[///James///]

i never leave my house, too much of a risk, people around here hate me so its not the best idea. my nephew is downstairs now, and like even he isnt cheering me up, something has to be wrong :(

[///James///]

or mabey just write something OMG GREAT IDEA!

MAN I LOVE YOU :D

My streets arnt actually dangerous! Its only a few people around my estate just hate me, and besides that my mum wud get suspicious about me leaving the house anyway!! i never leave!

[///James///]

99% of my brain space is taken up by Rudi already!

Sometimes though, just thinking about him brings me down becouse he aint with me all the time you know?

[///James///]

They dont know, and up till a certain time (once we get started), ye they will know of Rudi but he is only my pen pal.

[///James///]

Im feelin a bit better ye thanks :D


and thanks for the good wishes!

[Φρανκομβριτ]

awww babe, good. dont cut. it just makes it worse. Whats wrong? What happened?

[///James///]

awww babe, good. dont cut. it just makes it worse. Whats wrong? What happened?

im glad i didnt cut but the day hasnt excatly started fof great either. i think my friends played a trick of me (they are at the airport this morning to go to spain) and they said to me that they met gerard and mikey way from MCR there, i dont believe them.

then i stil feel sick, throught feels shit, i think its after throwing up last night.

i had a dream last night about you swettie, that we kept meeting the bus home, and me and you always sat together and you were telling me abotu what you did in dublin that day, and i was holding you and everything on the bus, i cant get the feelings off me, and i dont want to

edit from like 3 hours later: i can still feel your arms around me

[kolte]

awwwwwwww, James, you will be ok, just remember if you ever need anything you can talk to me over msn babe'. So if you ever feel like cutting, I will help you.

[///James///]

http://www.virtualteen.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=145339#145339