why don't my family understand?

[master]

STILL IN HOSPITAL, STILL WITH A FEEDING TUBE!!

yesterday I had my first family counsiling session today (hospital forces)
it was me and my mum and dad and older sister.
THEY HATE ME SO MUCH!!
they are so angry at me.
they dont understand.

my sister sayd to me all the time just eat, it's not hard at all it'slike the easiest thing in the world and it good!
but its not that simple I cant just eat and she doesnt understand.

my mum and dad get so angry at me that I still make myslef throw up. they dont understand how I can still do it, when things are already so bad (health wise)
they yell at me because I alwasy pull me feeding tube out.

I am costing them so much money!
IF I AM THAT MUCH OF A HASTLE WHY DONT THEY JUST LET ME DIE!

why cant they understand,
do you think that I wish that my life turned out this way, do they think I planned for this to happen, do they think that I love my life. my life is ruined and I am dying, I know its my fault but I cant help it!

what do I do.
my family just dont understand.
I am soo tired physically and mentallly, i can bearly get out of bed i am that tired. I dont know if I can take these councilling sessions wiht my family they take so much energy.

what do I do.
someone HELP ME!!

[Sapphire]

They are coming across as angry because they are scared about the situation and they don't understand it. They want you to be well and healthy.

Are you able to write about how you feel about your body, the feeding tube and the hospital? If you can then maybe you should write about it all. If you can do this then maybe you could give it to the counsellor to read with your family (I'm sure that you could ask not to be present if it seems like it would be too much).

I hope that you can see that your family care for you and love you. They are scared by the way things are going.
Please take care of yourself

[Random_oso06]

dude shut the hell up i'm sorry if i effended you but the only reason there doing this because they love you don't try to kill your self a life even yours isn't to go to wast everyone was born to make a better place in your mind they hate you and there trying to help you dude your acting selfish and your father should get mad at you he's wasting money on you to get better and those doctors are there to get you better mentaly and physicaly are you practicly blind sited that you can't see that just calm down and listen to the doctors and give everyone who's trying to help you a chance

and ahain i'm sorry if i effended you

[Hyper]

As its been said your family doesn't hate you they just don't understand why are you doing those things to yourself, they are hurting because you are hurting and most of all because you are hurting yourself.

You need to understand that they are frustrated too and people aren't best at letting their emotions show. Sometimes instead of saying I love you and want you to get better we yell at the person and accuse them.

Your family is watching you slowly die by your own hands ( as it would seem to them ) of course their frustrated reaction is to blame you.

But you need to talk to them, I'm sure somewhere they'd rather want to say I love you and want you to get better.

This is hard on everyone of you but you'll have to work this out because you'll need their support and love to get better.

Try to work with the counseling I think the writing idea is great.. I can't say anything to almost any counselor but its so much easier writing things down on paper since it seems like your talking to yourself and nobody is listening.

So atleast try it write down what your feeling about yourself, your family ( basically everything ) and give it to the counselor and yes it might be a great idea to ask not to be in the room when they read what you wrote.