Glad for them...

[Rusty]

I guess I knew trying to stop cutting would be a complete failure and I just proved myself right, three cuts on my right wrist not too deep but not shallow kinda medium.
But when I looked in the mirror and saw them, I smiled and felt happy that they were there and for once in a long time (since I vowed to stop) I felt like I wasn't holding anything in.
Am I being stupid? Pathetic? Mental?
I'm just really confused, as soon as I realised I was glad to see them my mind went into overdrive and started thinking "Why am I glad? Why do I want to do more?"

Can anyone offer some sort of explanation for me? :confused:

Rusty

[Sapphire]

I would hazard a guess that you decided to stop cutting without having an alternative way of letting your emotions out. You are not pathetic for having slipped up. It is a natural part of stopping. The difficult bit is to acknowledge that it was a mistake and to try again to quit with equal or greater determination.

You need to find a way for you to express your emotions, including pain, without actually harming yourself. There are an abundance of good ideas and suggestions here http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/announcement.php?f=16&a=52

[Fiending_the_freedom]

keep in mind, with an attitude like that ("I knew trying to stop cutting would be a complete failure and I just proved myself right") then of course your going to fail!
you CAN stop cutting,trust me, i believe in you, so you should too, if you tell your self every day that you can stop, it will make it a little easier.

[Rusty]

Thank you, with a bit of determinationI'm sure I could do it

[Hyper]

Thank you, with a bit of determinationI'm sure I could do it

And some belief in yourself :)

[Jekyll]

You need to find a different way to express your destructive emotions without SH a friend of mine took up going to the gym. Working out can relly help lower your aggresion so you feel less of a need to cut. Also find someone you feel comfortable talking to, talking can really help.

[Xistrance]

Its hard to kick because its a personal release, each person feels different emotions when they cut. I stopped for a long period and I thought one day "shit life sucks, wheres my razors thats a baaad thought, because I had no self control.

This is my secret. When you want to cut. Don't.

Seriously now, I know your reading this thinking "yeh if only it was this easy"

But it is. Try it. Even if u eventually cut after throwing my idea out the window and cutting after 30mins self controlling. Its progess, no one expects you to stop instantly, Its impossible because it always haunts u and comes back. but gradually building willpower against it. Is my secret weapon.

[Rusty]

I'm trying to slow down now, one night I cut 10 times so I've told myself to slow down and hopefully I'll eventually stop! :)

Thanks guys

Rusty

[Axellance]

I guess I knew trying to stop cutting would be a complete failure and I just proved myself right, three cuts on my right wrist not too deep but not shallow kinda medium.
But when I looked in the mirror and saw them, I smiled and felt happy that they were there and for once in a long time (since I vowed to stop) I felt like I wasn't holding anything in.
Am I being stupid? Pathetic? Mental?
I'm just really confused, as soon as I realized I was glad to see them my mind went into overdrive and started thinking "Why am I glad? Why do I want to do more?"

Can anyone offer some sort of explanation for me? :confused:

Rusty
The fact that you started with "I knew trying to stop cutting would be a complete failure and I just proved myself right" tells me you set your self up for failure. If you are convinced you can’t quit you will sub-consciously sabotage yourself. You need to believe you can and will do it, If you have a slip up you cant let it make you give up, you just got to keep trying. As for the good feeling you got….that’s pretty much what happens when you cut, you feel better for a little while but it is fallowed by feeling even worse that before, especially when you are trying to quit. You should not let this slip up make you stop trying.

[josh92]

I used to cut allot and didnt think i could stop but i did. You need to find something to let out your emotions instead of cutting. I found that music was my escape. I bought a guitar and learned to play and i love it. When ever i get depressed i play my guitar and i play how i feel. Try and learn an instrument that you have always wanted to learn.

[Rusty]

I'm glad to report I'm cutting down and the urges are still are there and still very strong but I'm mostly resisting!
Instead of cutting I'm doing other things to relieve my feelings like punching walls and stuff.
I calm myself down by singing, no matter how terrible I am!
Thanks for your help guys x

Rusty

[thesphinx]

AWESOME good job that is really a big accomplishment!