bbychop
August 16th, 2008, 11:30 AM
This morning I may have came up with a perfect consideration, yet I have come to found that I have confused myself more. I had dated a guy between April and May that I ended up falling for more so after we had split up than what I did when we were technically together. I had known him for over a year and a half at the time and a little longer now. Throughout the few months it had just been him and I - well, usually a couple of other friends now - had been hanging out or at least spending time together, we had been sexually active. Him and I have had a couple of falling outs, namely when he had ended up sleeping with my best friend (at the time) or whenever she had told him I wanted to be off of birth control so I could ruin his life. He is the type of person to believe what everyone else says before listening to the actual person.
He had spent the past couple of nights over here because we thought he was supposed to have surgery yesterday (but he ended up eating before going in and could not get it done). Thursday night there were at least eight people over because a friend of mine's boyfriend was over here. Who else came with her? My ex best friend. Although we had made up, it was still completely awkward. She and everyone who had came with her had been drinking excessively. Him (as in the guy I am speaking of) and I spent a lot of the night out of the house because I had been complaining. While him and I were driving he looked over at me and said I have not talked to her yet. Haven't you noticed? Turn around and about ten minutes later, he ends up driving her over to pick up a friend. Since my house wreaked of Jack and Keystone, I decided to walk up to work since I do not live but up the street. They had all came up to where I was with my friend because the girl he slept with's boyfriend (now, boyfriend) was up there. I went outside after finishing my drink and he decided that him and I were going to walk home. He could end up seeing I had been mad at him. He looked at me on the walk home and told me if she hadn't been drinking, I never would have gone. I blew him off because I did not want him to know I was really upset. When he left yesterday morning I did not expect to hear from him for a couple of weeks since he thought he was having surgery. I was at work last night when I got a text from him asking when I was off and if I wanted to hang out with him. A part of me wanted to but another just did not. A series of events happened last night with him, a friend of ours, and I that made me realize why I should not have wanted to see him last night but it was mainly drug involved and I am trying to sober up - and so is he. We came home about three thirty last night. We fell asleep until almost ten. Usually in the mornings we... you can get the hint. This morning while it was going on I was thinking to myself do I really love him or do I just love the sex? He left not too long ago, but he is coming back.
While him and I were together, he wanted the whole marriage, kids, and such. He blames our friend for why him and I split. After we split is when I realized how much I actually cared about him and loved him. Part of me knows why I love him yet another questions. He has turned into someone who is heartless, and although I have, I try to show him I care. I have lead myself into another bout of confusion.
He had spent the past couple of nights over here because we thought he was supposed to have surgery yesterday (but he ended up eating before going in and could not get it done). Thursday night there were at least eight people over because a friend of mine's boyfriend was over here. Who else came with her? My ex best friend. Although we had made up, it was still completely awkward. She and everyone who had came with her had been drinking excessively. Him (as in the guy I am speaking of) and I spent a lot of the night out of the house because I had been complaining. While him and I were driving he looked over at me and said I have not talked to her yet. Haven't you noticed? Turn around and about ten minutes later, he ends up driving her over to pick up a friend. Since my house wreaked of Jack and Keystone, I decided to walk up to work since I do not live but up the street. They had all came up to where I was with my friend because the girl he slept with's boyfriend (now, boyfriend) was up there. I went outside after finishing my drink and he decided that him and I were going to walk home. He could end up seeing I had been mad at him. He looked at me on the walk home and told me if she hadn't been drinking, I never would have gone. I blew him off because I did not want him to know I was really upset. When he left yesterday morning I did not expect to hear from him for a couple of weeks since he thought he was having surgery. I was at work last night when I got a text from him asking when I was off and if I wanted to hang out with him. A part of me wanted to but another just did not. A series of events happened last night with him, a friend of ours, and I that made me realize why I should not have wanted to see him last night but it was mainly drug involved and I am trying to sober up - and so is he. We came home about three thirty last night. We fell asleep until almost ten. Usually in the mornings we... you can get the hint. This morning while it was going on I was thinking to myself do I really love him or do I just love the sex? He left not too long ago, but he is coming back.
While him and I were together, he wanted the whole marriage, kids, and such. He blames our friend for why him and I split. After we split is when I realized how much I actually cared about him and loved him. Part of me knows why I love him yet another questions. He has turned into someone who is heartless, and although I have, I try to show him I care. I have lead myself into another bout of confusion.