My Best Friend

[Vermillion]

My best friend is... Or was something else. He was the kinda friend who could make you laugh no matter how pissed off you were. Which, was great, 'cause it's no secret that I'll let someone have it when pushed.

Now, over the summer I've come to realize what a total dumbass he is. It all started the last day of school. For all of June I'd always ask him to ask his granny if we could hang out, and every time she'd flatly say "No". But, of course, being a predjudiced sonna bitch that she is, her granny ALWAYS allowed his band to go over and practice. Which, yeah, 100% truly pissed me off.
ANYWAYS, after bringing that up with him, I basically told him that I had enough. I know that wasn't his fault, but I have cried more time over this year because of him (Just to fill you in, he has lied to me many times and bailed on hanging out with me countless of times). So yeah, I then called him up and basically said "Fuck you, you are a terrible dickhead but thanks for the times you were nice to me". He then replied with that he didn't care if I stopped being his friend (Ha, he must've forgot those times I saved his ass from his own life). And I promptly replied with hanging up my phone.

Now, jump forward to late July. I get phone calls and messages from my friends telling me that Preston (My former best friend) made threats to hurt me and vandalise my property. After my friends had forwarded the messages he had made on myspace to me, I had a chance to read them. I promptly called the cops and boom bang, the next morning I get a message from him saying he's sorry. I didn't buy it (Good thing too, 'cause it actually wasn't him).

And jump forward to now, August. I now know that Preston was on drugs, drank, and probably got high in the short weeks we stopped being friends (Which serves as a true testament of how fucked up his life is without me holding his hand).
With that in mind, on my birthday which was the 7th, I decided to call him and ask him for a happy birthday (I did so cause all of my friends forgot it was my bday). He told me happy birthday and I promptly got the answers from what the fuck was wrong him last month. No scratch that, I got the confirmation of what I knew from last month.

Well, we hung up and he called back the next day. We talked. And then the next day. We talked. And then one day I fuckin' realized "Oh shit, this bastard just cursed me, used racial slurrs, threaten me, does drugs n' booze, and gets high and all of a sudden I'm supposed to forgive him?!". So yeah, the next time he called I ignored it. And it hurt, lots.

Sure, the guy is a total bitch and I KNOW I should never speak to him until he apologizes and learns how to respect, but it's hard living everyday knowing that I have no one to talk to when I'm down. I have no one to talk about my drawings with, I have no one to talk about anything and everything with. I have no best friend.
And i miss that, tons. And, that brings me to my question: am I doing the right thing? For the sake of fairness to myself and Preston, am I doing the right thing by ignoring him until I get the apology I rightfully deserve?

I know this post is long, but it had to be to achieve the full gravity of it all.
Thanks.

[Zephyr]

If he was under the influence,
He well may not have meant it,
And may not remember it.
Talk to him about it in a civil manner.
If you ignore him,
He may not even know why and get mad at you.

[Vermillion]

Well here's the thing, I've told him about all of the messages my friend forwarded to me so he KNOWS he has done some shit. So regardless of him doing drugs and whatnot, he is aware of his actions...

Though, granted, he was under the influence, however he somehow magically remembered to aplogize the day after all of that shananagins. Well, it wasn't really an apology, as he pretended to be someone who was pretending to be someone to apologzie.
No really, he went through the trouble to make a whole new myspace page just to save face.
And, in my book (Which is a great read, BTW), that is NOT an apology.
I mean, you do make a good point, but he already knows I'm mad at him as when he first called he said "I didn't call because I thought you were mad at me." To which I told him he was damned right, and I'm STILL mad. And soon after I told him I was, I told him why and he even told me a little bit more about that night. So is it safe for me to assume he knows plenty of the shit he has done?

Dammit, I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore... Well, I'll try to put it this way: It's good that he knows I'm angry at him; he knows the shit he has done; and I still want him to apologize. Sure, he's a dumbass, but I miss him dearly and he misses me too. He never said that, but I think it's pretty clear since even after stabbing me in the back he keeps calling, constantly asking me to hang out.
And of course, he needs to apologize without me holding his hand and telling him to do so. That's why he makes such dumbass mistakes, it's because everyone he knows in his life, even me (I'm not proud of it), has held his hand and have done everything for him. Though I've given him plenty of chances in the past to still be my best friend (And I say it like that because he KNOWS how awesome I am to him XD), I have told him what to do to fix things.
This time, I can't and I won't and I'm kinda worried that he will never figure out that he needs to apolgozie....

Damn, am I rambling again? >_<0

[Zephyr]

If you feel that you need a genuine apology,
Then by all means, wait for one.

But I wouldn't let it completely ruin your friendship,
Life's too short to be mad at each other.

[Vermillion]

Wow, funny you should say that 'cause that's what I say to people when they said "Man you're so weird".
And wow again, 'cause I never really looked at it that way...
Thanks a lot bro n_n

[The Batman]

If you want this friendship to build back up then you have to make the first move. Now matter how bad it was when you guys stopped talking you have to try and be the bigger man and rebuild this friendship. It might be hard for you at first but you've go to remember that as much as it's hurting you it could be hurting him even worse.

[MrPinnick17]

Your wasting your time waiting for an apology. If your ignore him how will you know if he gives you an apology? This situation is weird, I don't know why you'd want to be friends after he's been mean to you in the past, threatened to kill you, and ditched you.

But at the same time, I can't see why he would want to be friends with you after you cussed him out about his grandma, which he has no control over, and called the police on him.

At times you sound like you don't wanna hang out with him, but at other times it sounds like this guy is a great friend and you can't live without him.

I'm a guy, and if I were in his situation I wouldn't think anything is wrong, he's apologized a few times, but I can't see him flat out apologizing for everything, I mean it's just the way guys are you know?

I wouldn't worry about it, if it's bothering you to wait for an apology i'd just let it go, hang out the next time he calls, and take it from there. If your cool hanging out, and not really worrying about what's in the past, then that's great, you got your bud back. But if you can't stop thinking about what's already happened while your chilling, it's time to let it all go, even if that means losing your best friend.

[Vermillion]

Woah. Slap on the brakes, hit the deck, stop, alto, hold position, and get out of the choppah!

lol Ahem, yeah, he never threatened to kill me. Harm me? Yeah. Kill me? No. Hell, granted I'm quite the looney for still wanting to be friends with a total dick (Or someone who was being one, anyways), but I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who has threatened me.

Regardless of that fact however, I want to believe you guys are right that there are far better friends than him. However, that is really hard for me to believe right now at this point. And myself, whilst stooping to Preston's level as far as using peope goes, I want us to be freinds again because he was the only person I've ever known in my life that I could tell anything to.

Sure I got my over conservative parents, and I don't want to go to military school just 'cause I'm bi. But that's another story...

So like, this is where I'm at. I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to let go and move on, yet I keep staring at my phone wanting to call him. For what? The hell if I know, I just miss my friend.
And, with that knowledge, I'm also in an internal conflict on just how much people are bastards. 'Cause, to be honest, I DONT want to start over and find another best friend and tell him/her all my secrets and shit. I don't want to be vunerable again.
But at the same time, I need a best friend so I CAN tell all my secrets to and shizz >_<0
Bleh. I'm up for suggestions right now on if I should just talk this out with him. Of course, you guys can't dictate what I do but please... Nothing else has worked so now I'm ready for blind dark-stabbings =/
(P.S. BTW, just to clear something else up. I did not call the po-po on his bitch-granny, in case any of you thought that :0)