Urges.

[trn19]

I really, really need to cut. I'm tired of being reminded what a freak and waste I am. I'm tired of always being out of place. I'm tired of keeping secrets. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of my problems at home. I'm tired of my problems at school. I'm so tired of myself. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of being ignored. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being stupid. I need my good friend; my knife.

I had to write this to keep myself distracted, or to tell someone the way I'm feeling. I don't know if I will be of any good.

[The Batman]

We all have urges but we need to try and overcome them. If your tired of lying and keeping secrets then start telling it all. The only person holding you down is you and you need to fight. Dig yourself out of this hole and fight for your life.

[byee]

And add 'being tired' of cutting to that list, too.

Recognition of what you struggle with is a great first step. Next comes some self control, and in the space that provides a plan to address your emptiness.

Hang in there, come up with a plan to get what you want. Think about ways you can fill that void, what needs to happen to make that possible?

[trn19]

Right now I just wish I was brave enough to slit my wrists. I don't see any point in living. At least my life isn't worth living.

[electric7rocker]

how old are you?

if youre younger than 78 (which you are...)
then your life is still worth living because your life still has potential to be great
you still have potential to be happy

itll happen. you can do it! i know it, and you know it.
and were here to help you through it. :)

most of us have had these urges and been through this type of feeling
yeah
it SUCKS
but it passes
my vote: stay alive, stay safe

[Rutherford The Brave]

Right now I just wish I was brave enough to slit my wrists. I don't see any point in living. At least my life isn't worth living.

Let me ask you something. Would you rather be born a human or animal? Point is your not a waste. Life is ment to be like this, its really hard. You just can't let it best you, just say to yourself "I'm going to have a great day today."

[japanman]

Most people have said the most helpfull things already.

All i want to say is that you said you are a freak? Well then be happy that your not like everyone else be happy that you not like other people.

Thats all i have to say.

[trn19]

Hey all. Thanks a lot for your words, they've helped. I really appreciate them. The thing is, I can't stop feeling this sad and angry at myself. I'm so fucking sad. And I hate myself very much. I cut last night, and I'm ashamed of myself, but I can't stop doing it. I had gone for three weeks without doing it.

Dizco Lemonade:

I wish I could say "I'm going to have a great day today", and feel happy instantly. I really wish it could happen. I'd kill for things to be like that. But my sadness is much more powerful than I am. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help, and you indeed help, but I really can't do that. I really can't. I'm sorry. Maybe you'll think I'm lying or that I don't really try, but I do.

[Rutherford The Brave]

No I will not think your lying! I try to say the same thing to myself and it doesnt work. You see tomorrow I'm going to wake up and shave. Then I'm going to work my first job 7:30 A.M to 1:00 P.M. Then I'm going to pick my fiance up from the hospital, then I'm going to pay child care. Then I'm going to pick up my new born daughter spend 5 minutes with her and then go to my second job at 3:00. I probably won't get back till 11 P.M where lil' Cheyenne will be up screaming her head off ready for her first Diaper change. The reason why I say that, is because I need a positive boost everyday.