please tell me if this is normal...

[sunflower]

hi okay so i am 16 and i really need your help. i always worry somehow that i am not "normal" and i always freak myself out about a lot. lately my new worry has to do with my parents. i know this is gross but just help me out, when i visualized them having sex i of course got super grossed out but then i freaked myself out wondering why in the world that thought even popped in to my head! and then the more i worried the more the visualizations of them having sex popped in to my head. now i'm all worried because of course i don't want to just sit there and continue to visualize them doing that, but now i'm not quite as repulsed picturing them. now i'm worried that it's not grossing me out quite like it used to i don't exactly get repulsed at the visualization anymore it's just kinda whatever but i won't sit and think of it too long cuz that's just wierd. am i just tricking myself again trying to find something that is wrong with me? am i just coming to terms with it and it's just like okay they have sex, yeah kinda gross but whatever? just tell me if this is normal i hope this made sense im just really all over the place. please help.... im sorry that was so long...

[byee]

First, welcome to VT! We're happy to answer your question, and this is a good one.

I think it's sorta universal to be grossed out by the thought of parents being sexual. It's that family thing, that 'rule' that we all know parenst are sexualis sexual, but that it's not a part of our relationship with them, so it's not an OK thought (or behavior). It's a 'boundary', and a good one at that.

Enter puberty, with it's focus on emerging sexuality and the intensity of those feelings, urges and curiosities, as well as a new found awareness of things sexual. Add that to the presence of your parents, and you have those weird sexual images and thoughts, combined with a new awareness that they're sexual, too.

In short, what you're feeling is normal. As you get accustomed to your own emerging sexualness, you'll come to accept (with reservations!) that your folks are sexual, too, and the images and thoughts will disappear. Until then, try not to dwell on it too much.

[sunflower]

thank you very much

[hobo]

I think the more you want not to think about something, the more you end up thinking about it. it's no big deal, but if you're still thinking about it in like 3 days then there is probably an issue.

[Oblivion]

Id say its not a problem.
You can't control what you think about.
Sometimes you just have weird thoughts, and the more you think about not thinking about them, the more you think about them.
Just try doing something different, and get your mind off it.

[sunflower]

that makes a lot of sense. i feel so much better thank you :)