The Night

[dude101]

The night
Dark;
But not tonight,
The moon, the stars
are all so bright.

There IT is; walking,
The moon Beaming off IT's face,
Like an angel in glourious harmony.

IT approches me
my heart pounds,
But then IT walks past,
With no knowledge that I was there.

The felling inside;
like a stabing knife
because I want IT, so much.

Now IT will never know.
It will Never feel the way i feel
about IT, The withdrawal
and I will never be the same again.

This is about my ex gf and i just wanted to express how i felt about the whole situation. :(

[advent_child]

It was good, but it seems like you are holding back. Let all your feelings spill on the screen when you write, dont be afraid of offending ppl. (i dont mean go call everyone a fag) i mean if u thik ur ex was a bitch say it, people want to know if poets can see beauty every day, even when its not pretty. (e.g. childbirth)(That has nothing to do with this because it sets a negative tone, but just its just a piece of advice from an rambling deep emotionally mixed kid.) No offense meant, really it was good. I liked it, just say what you wanted to do when this happened.

e.g. childbirth

[Kiros]

please stop double posting...

[advent_child]

double posting?

[Kiros]

oh sorry, I meant for the other thread :P

[JunkBondTrader]

Good poem. Nice flow to it.

[dude101]

My poem wasnt supposed to umm... say she was bitchy really... just that she like ... well i think she never did like me cuz my friend said that she only went out with me cuz i was hot. but i duno .... it was supposed to mean that she never noticed me ... Quote

"IT approches me
my heart pounds,
But then IT walks past,
With no knowledge that I was there."

see what i mean !
sorry for the confusion !

[DouggyO.o]

that was kool

[dude101]

thanks man

[teencrazykid]

Say whatever you feel, but don't write a poem that says "She's a bitch, She's a whore She's a slut, She's a hoe" nothin 2 vulgar like that, but I like how u used the word IT. That was very descriptive in its own way, like a mystery. =)