Famly Issues (Divorce)

[WMDQZV]

Well heres a long story short:

My mom and dad got divorced, my dad re-married to a younger women whos about 30 and my dads 50. They're definitely in love, but sometimes I feel a little occured around her. FOr example, sometimes she comes around and tickles me, even though I love her like a mom i'll never love her the way I love my real mom so I feal uncomfortable when she touches me. '

I love her a lot, but feel uncomfortable when she touches me, how will I got about telling her to stop, because I don't want to make her feel shut down, or locked up, you know what I mean?

[The Batman]

This isn't really a problem with her it's more of a problem in you. You are stopping yourself from letting her into your life. You probably feel as if you don't want to replace your mom with her. You do not have to relinquish the love of your mom to her but you have to try to give her a chance to be apart of your life. Divorce is extremely hard for teens and by the way she acts she realizes it. Just try and be more playful with her and eventually you'll get more comfortable.

[Zephyr]

General Puberty ---> Friends and Family

[Oblivion]

Just try to say really gently, "Can you please stop?"
If you say it enough, she'll get the hint that you don't like being tickled or touched by her,
But hopefully it won't hurt her feelings.
But with things like this, it's hard not to.


OR You can tell here exactly what you told us, and she should understand.

[byee]

It sounds like she really cares for you, and the feeilng is recriprocal. In relationships like that, people tell eachother all kinds of things they want, or don't want, it's part of being paired. I'm sure she'll be OK with it if you make the request respectfully.

[pontiacdriver]

This isn't really a problem with her it's more of a problem in you. You are stopping yourself from letting her into your life. You probably feel as if you don't want to replace your mom with her. You do not have to relinquish the love of your mom to her but you have to try to give her a chance to be apart of your life. Divorce is extremely hard for teens and by the way she acts she realizes it. Just try and be more playful with her and eventually you'll get more comfortable.

I completely agree with this post. Basically, you might be afraid of getting too affectionate with this lady as you might view such love as a betrayal of your Mom. Basically, you probably are still somewhat upset at your father for leaving your mother, and you don't want to justify his behaviour by being on good terms with his new wife. However, the reality is that this woman is going to be part of your family life for the foreseeable future which is why it is going to be in your interest to be civil towards her. At least the woman is making an effort to somehow be on good terms with you, and she does not seem to be living up to the role of the "evil step mother." If you are afraid of sharing your love with this woman, then it is understandable in light of feeling towards you Mum. When you are alone with your step mum and when you both are in a good mood, then you can tell her that while you appreciate her affection you are just not ready to have that kind of relationship with her right now. You can explain that you are still hurt by the divorce and that it is hard for you to have someone else other than your parents be affectionate with you.

Your feeling are normal, and it is all right to feel conflicted. Just make sure that you maintain a good relationship with your step mum especially if she has done nothing against you.