I really don't know who or what i am anymore...

[moose43]

i really think im slowly losing my mind...

at 8th grade i decided to change my life...completely..to make new friends and meet new people, and i developed them, but now i really just dont know whats wrong with me anymore..

i have been told numerous times i am a fake person in the past, and i just ignored it, but now, 2 years later, it is starting to get back at me, and i just feel very lost and confused

it is just now that i feel that everything i have done is nothing and is going nowhere but further tricking me into thinking that am i what i am..

ive been backstabbed by other people i used to call friends and ive made new ones, i been through so much and overcame them and yet i feel so wrong...maybe the people who call me fake know the truth about me, i dont know anymore..

the worse part is, i cant even go back and change the mistakes ive done, i just kept telling myself its ok and i just ignored it and moved on but now i feel its all going to crash back down on me..

now i changed schools just to hang out with my so called "best" friends and i really dont want this to be the worse mistake in my life, because that was the only purpose....i dont really know who i am anymore, i feel like my best friends are just going to slowly lose out on me and i am just going to be a loner for the rest of my life..really i feel so depressed

someone help me please

[Requin]

Sorry for your predicament dude.
It's a bummer feeling like that, like your not complete, like your empty inside. But i think all you need is confidence. Don't look back, look forward into your future. Everyone makes mistakes in their life and no one's perfect even if they want people to beleive that.
Hang out with your friends more, tell yourself that you've done the right thing, say to yourself "I regret nothing" and things like that.
I don't mean suddenly become arrogant and vain, being someone that your not just to keep your friends is just wrong so don't do that.
It's just confidence, we won't get rid of your depression by saying a wonderful post but we can make you feel more confident inside. IT's all about mind games, control yourself and just enjoy your life, we've only got one shot at it :-)

[moose43]

yeah but ive been bullied on a few times, and those people that have done so know what i will do to make new friends, theyve seen what ive become and how i changed because they went to my same school back then..and now i feel if everyone finds out about that theyll think of me as a fake person, a poser, and just cast me out. this is what scares me the most

i love what i do, its just sometimes that when i say something and it comes out dumb it makes me feel like im trying to fit in and i should just stop everything..

[Zan0ra]

Dont be someone your not. If your bullied. Tell someone. If your not hbappy at your school. Change *if possible*

[moose43]

i can tell you its way more complicated than that

[MrPinnick17]

Dude I know how you feel. About that same time in my life [8th grade] I wanted to hang out with all the cool guys in my grade. I mean they were nice and seemed like they were always hanging out and having a good time. Now [12th grade] I'm friends with all those guys, some might even say I'm popular, and I've got my own group of friends.

But sometimes I wish I would have never changed. I'm not me anymore and the thing is, I don't even know how to be like I used to be. I've ditched my old friends and these new friends, their my boys and all no doubt I love them, but I still don't feel like I can talk to them or tell them things without being judged.

It's just a tough situation, and there is nothing you can do but ride it through. Keep on going in the direction your going, just have more confidence in yourself. Don't let the bullies bother you or worry that they'll expose you. I felt the same way when things kind of hit a wall, like I'd hear about something these guys I wanted to be friends with did, and left me out. For a while that was my downfall, I felt left out and I think it really set me back.

These new friends you wanna make, you just gotta keep hanging out with them, gain their trust and just show that your confident and you really wanna make new friends. Don't tell yourself your not good enough, and don't worry about what people have said in the past.

If you don't want to be a loner don't let yourself be one, hang out with your new friends at the new school and make the change really worth while. Have as good of a time as you can because your only young once, you'll only live your life once, and it only takes one chance for you to miss out on something your going to with you would have done in the future.

Keep your head up, be down for anything, and carry yourself with confidence and I guarantee you'll be feeling a lot better about yourself and the decisions you've made. Every once in a while I think about my old friends and wonder what I'd be like if I would have kept being friends with them, and I think about all the great stuff I've gotten to do because I've left them behind. It sounds horrible and it might be, but in life sometimes you've got to leave people behind to get ahead.

Good luck dude, I hope you can get something out of this rambling.

[moose43]

hey thanks man, i really appreciate your advice, and im just gonna do what you said, ive been feeling down lately, and ive been telling myself i dont belong, and im just gonna keep that confidence up

[moose43]

also, i would like to say that my best friends havent even been calling me to do anything anymore, and they have been hanging out with their other friends, and its really making me feel down, and i dont even think my best friends are my best friends anymore, just people i barely see now..

i call them to see what they are doing, all they tell me is i dont know..

[Xistrance]

same here, but mate, its never too late. only when u die is it too late. if it really gets u, fix it, ur in control.