Venting.

[trn19]

Hey guys. I feel very weird and embarrassed for posting here about my own problems, but it's just that there's no one to talk to.

I want to kill myself. My depression and my OCD and my anxiety and my BPD just rule my life, and I'm sick of it. Plus, I'm so lonely, and I have secrets I can't tell anyone about, especially my psychiatrist. I just don't know what to do, I'm desperate.

Anyway, I'm really sorry for bothering you with my stuff, but you really don't have to reply. I just felt like venting because that seems to be the only thing I can do. I'm sorry.

[Zan0ra]

Maybe you could tell a few very close friends about your problems? Don't expect them to know all the answers. Ending your life isn't the right way to go. Anyone who has tried to commit suicide in the past well tell you that. It just brings a whole new level of chaos and misery to your life. If you ever feel like talking about it. Send me a pm and I will do my best to help you.

[Hyper]

Well what can I say?

Sometimes practically everything can be like crap, but usually things do get better.

They will get better for sure if you try harder for yourself.

And killing yourself wont make anything better from my point of view, I recall you've posted telling people not to do it yourself and I even think you used to PM me?

Well in any regards you can atleast talk to us since we are random people scattered all over the world :)

[Rutherford The Brave]

Life is ment to be tough. The only way you can make things right is to not let the bad things get the best of you. If in fact you do, you'll probably just live in the sullen world that you p ut yourself in. It's definatly hard, you just have to live every day to the fullest. Go out ask a random girl to dance, maybe try a different style of clothing. That way you won't let the bad things over take you and life will be much much better.

[trn19]

Thanks guys. I'll keep in mind what you said. Today the thought of suicide didn't even cross my mind, so I guess it was a good day. I still feel very lonely and stuff, but, I just try not to think about that. The thing is, I can be relatively fine for a period of time and then my depression kicks with so much strength I just don't know what to do. Nothing cheers me up, and all I can do is lie in bed all day; except of course when I have to go to school. Yeah, Hyper, that was me. I'll think about you offer.

[SirRawrsalot]

Well, as they say in the hit box office film "the night is darkest just before dawn", and if rich famous people say it... it's almost definitely, probably, true.

[byee]

There's benefit in venting, but what might make you feel better is resolving your problems by talking them all out with that psychiatrist of yours, that's what he's there for! What's the problem with that?

[trn19]

Well, the problem is that I don't really trust him anymore, and he's just nasty sometimes or don't take me seriously, plus, to make things worse, I stopped taking my meds like 3 months ago, and of course no one knows, and if I told him the truth I would be in deep shit.

[trn19]

I need to cut. It's been a week since the last time.

[byee]

I need to cut. It's been a week since the last time.

Perhaps you wouldn't 'need' to cut if you were on your meds! Do your parents know about this? The cutting and the D/C of the meds? Maybe you should talk with them about it, and about your concerns.

Although we cant know for sure, maybe if you worked with your psychiatrist around the issues you're there for, as well as your feelings about the way he interacts with you, you might feel better! It's a choice, you know, you can do what you want and stop your meds and not talk with your psychiatrist, but then, you have these urges and feelings and behaviors that aren't so good. Or, you can be agreeable and work with him and open up and hopefully resolve these problems and be one with all these symptoms.

[trn19]

I'm so tired all the time. I can't sleep. I'm very, very sad. I just feel like crying and not getting out of bed ever again.

[Mr. Smithers]

Well the only advice I would be able to give you if you are this badly hurt would be to get some help. Get a treatment plan or something. Sounds like depression to me. I don't know if you want to talk about it or not though.