life

[electric7rocker]

i feel so down about everything
i feel totally alone here
im a cutter
i smoke a fair amount of pot
and my therapist doesnt believe me when i tell her i think i have OCD (you should see it, its awful)
back to the pot
i had a really bad trip last night
i smoked wayyyyy too much
and i started freaking out
i was scared of everything, it was dark and cold... i couldnt explain why i was scared or what i was scared of, it was just awful.
i wanted to die
if i had had a razor with me, i know i would have gone crazy and probably tried to kill myself
it was all bad

and then today
i smoked more
i want to cut so bad

[thesphinx]

I'm sorry your having a bad time, does you therapist help at all with any of this?
Maybe you should try smoking less pot for now especially if you think it is going to make things worse.
If you ever need to talk or anything pm me.
-thesphinx

[Zan0ra]

Smoking is one of those tricky things......If your therapist isn't working. Get a new one. Maybe one who understands your problems. I know how you feel about down. i'm going to be depressed all summer break. Try going on vacation one day or go see you're family/friends. and talk to them about the matter. They might be able to help out.

[electric7rocker]

im trying to cut down on the smoking...
but i feel so good when im spun
i feel like i can fly....

[Zan0ra]

Maybe you might want to try one of those spoke free groups. They might be able to help.

[electric7rocker]

im not addicted..

[Mr. Smithers]

You might not think you are. It sounds like to me you just might. Or you don't smoke that much and when you do smoke, you become a whole different person. You should really get some help. Talk to someone. Call a hotline. Even if you think you aren't addicted. If its controlling your life than you need help.

[Zan0ra]

^ yeah, what fezzie said.

[electric7rocker]

as for the not smoking, im doing good so far...
but i just keep getting more and more depressed

i want someone to care about me. i feel like no one does.