Weird dream... do you think maybe this will happen? (scared)

[bbychop]

Last night I had a very strange dream...
I was like talking to Andy and Austin and Richard was with me then Richard left cuz Matt started talking to me. Well, after a while I saw Richard with another girl and I was like "WTF?!" Then I had Matt go up to him and ask him if me and him were still together. Matt came back and said no and of course, I didn't believe him so I went over there and asked him and he was like "No, I'm with her now" and pointed over at some preppy looking chick. So I walked off and he came up behind me and was like "Are you ok?" and I was like "Go be with your fuckin' preppy ass girlfriend over there!" and he comes up to me and like he had his hands on my shoulders and was practically squeezing me to death and saying "She's just like you so shut the fuck up" then he walked off.
That was when I woke up. And my arms still hurt from that.
=(

We have been fighting alot lately. I've said some things to Andy that have gotten back to them and I don't know. I'm scared. Really scared. The last time he talked to me it was all good and stuff but I don't know. I think that maybe that dream is some sort of sign that I need to be treating him better ... even though I already treat him like a king ... anything you can help me with?

[bbychop]

I know... I see his point... I do. :(

[bbychop]

I know but that's so hard :(

[ScotsGirl]

Is it Richard that you are with right now?

How are things going? Is it him you are having arguments with? (when you said you've been arguing alot)

Sorry for all the questions, you dont have to answer anything you dont want to of course.

Anyway, about your dream, there is no proof as to what our dreams mean so i guess its really up to us to decide.
Some psychologists believe its often a way our subconscious mind communicates with our conscious mind...if that makes sense.
For example in your dream someone else is telling you youre like a preppy girl...maybe you think youve changed and are mo
re like that, or maybe you're worried that that is the type of girl Richard likes...
Like i said though, its entirely up to you how you want to interpret your dream, if you believe its all a bunch of BS then who is to say its not? its your dream afterall, right? :D

Anyway, i do agree with Austin and I Live In Fear when they say you dont need a bf....however, i dont really think you should be focusing on that and worrying constantly about it...i think it might help more if you ask why you do it...
Why do you feel the need to have a constant bf? You dont have to answer it here if you dont want, as long as you ask yourself the question.
And after you find out why you do it, then i think that you need to be able to trust yourself to make that decision. You know what needs to be done but youre the only one who can do it ;)
I know, its easy for us to look on and tell you, well we think you should do this and we think you should do that, but its a lot harder putting it all into practice...and its a whole lot harder actually trusting yourself when your trying to make a big decision.
But i know you can do it!

I know... I see his point... I do. :(

Ok i know you agreed with him however...im not quite sure if you actually believe it...

But i just want to ask you a question...

When was the last time you did something because you wanted to and because you enjoyed it?
I dont mean something you wanted to do because it would make someone else happy...i mean something you did just because you wanted to?

You need to take some time out and sort out everything you need to so you can stand on your own two feet and so you dont feel the need to relie on anyone.

We're all here for you Ashley! :hug:

xxx

[bbychop]

Thanks Lynne.
Ok, first, yes it is Richard that I am with right now. We've been fighting over alot of things since Dunagan got completely mad at us for being together in the first place. We both listened to Laura and got back together and now it's like anytime we are around eachother we're not talking or anything, ya know. For instance, Thursday, Eric wasn't at school so I was hanging out with Courtney, Andy, Samm and James and since Eric is Richard's little friend then Richard came up to me and tried to make me feel better cuz I had a bad morning. Friday, I was hanging out with Amanda and he came up to me when we went outside and he was standing there behind me hugging all over me and whatnot then he was like "I need to find something to do" and I'm like "Ok?" And he went off to go play hacky sack and yeah. It didn't bother me much and James was there for me to talk to. We had the same P.E. class and I have that class with Andy, Emerald, Austin, Samm and Adrienne. Well we mixed our classes and I was sitting there with Andy, Emerald, and Austin and he was over there with some chick and one of his friends. Well, I mentioned to Andy about how whenever we are around eachother we never act like it. Well, when we had to go back into "The Pit", Andy was like "Richard get over here" and I was like "Andy don't!" and she was like "You need to pay more attention to your girlfriend." Then I ran up to Emerald like almost in tears and Andy came up and told me what was going on. I'm used to waiting for him before eighth block on Friday so I left he Gym with Andy and Austin and we were standing there with James and Terrance and Richard came out when he left and then we were by the stairs and he was like "I gotta get to eighth block" and he usually walks me but this time he didn't. In eighth block I was crying cuz I was like so confused. Bethany told me that it was going to be ok and that she would come with me after eighth block. Well, he came up to me after eighth block and I told Bethany she could go on without me and I just stood there in front of him and he gave me a hug and was like "Are you mad at me?" and I usually lie to him and say "No" which I did again and he was like "Andy told me what was going on" and I practically fell down the stairs by that point. He was like "What's going on with us?" and I told him that it felt as if he was ignoring me and he was like "I'm sorry.. it's not my fault" and we walked outside and during English (eighth block) I changed my screen saver thing to where it said "Lovers and Liars" and I had his pic on there and I was like "Don't even go for my phone" and he went for it and I stole it back and changed it to Austin's pic and yeah. Anyways, he hugged me and we went off.

Anyways, enough with that. I don't know why I am always in need of a boyfriend. I guess it's because I feel so alone and I know for a fact there would be someone there.