are parents allowed to hit?

[Yasmine]

i'm just wondering if parents are allowed to discipline you into doing something by hitting. i've gotten slapped across the face by my mom alot growing up. she even pushed me off a chair once. i'm still afraid of my mom being mad at me, because i'm afraid she'll do the things she did back then. my parents told me that's the only way to raise your kids to turn into "proper" adults.

[SirRawrsalot]

No, it isn't the way. It's the illegal way. You aren't allowed to do that. That's called child abuse. I had to move away from my father because of him beating my mother and I. Telling someone is the best option to get them to stop although child services (depending on P.A. laws) could take you away. Anyone else have some better info than me?

Anyways, they aren't allowed. It doesn't help you at all. It in fact can cause a lot of problems. It sounds like they haven't done it in a while. So they might have realized it's illegal. But cchild abuse can cause a lot of problems for you.

[Dolphus Raymond]

U.S. law lets adults spank children, for better or for worse.

Hitting a child, however, is criminal assault. It should be. Its behavioral improvement effects (if there are any) do not outweigh it being child abuse. Psychological studies pretty much universally agree that it does much more harm than good. What your mom is doing is wrong, legally and (I think) morally.

[RaisingSand]

There's actually an anti-smacking law in NZ right now, which I think is ridiculous. You see all these out of control kids and they're not listening to their mother's, and the mum's are at their wits end with what to do.

When I was a kid, if did anything naughty, I used to get hit across the backside with a switch. And if I spoke back, I got another swat. And believe me, that WORKED. My sister my brother and I always did what my parents told us, when we were told.

[SirRawrsalot]

I'd also like to point out that the three have us have been hit atleast once out of discipline or anger, but don't the three of us cut (or used to cut.). It's a common statistic and I'm just putting it out there. Would you rather have out of control children or children who cut or harm themselves? I'm not saying everybody that gets smacked does, but it does increase the chance you'd consider it. And after a few considerations, you give in. Completely against violence towards anyone. I dont care if that kids is biting me I'm not going to hit them.

[byee]

Different opinions on this. But, we've got a real opportunity here to hear from the other side, the kids! So, did it work? Did it turn you into 'proper' beings? Are you more socialized as a result? Was it effective?

I think there's a diff b'twn. 'discipline', and abuse. The former is actually an opportunity to learn something, discipline is a way of teaching alternate behaviors. And it doesn't need to be physical to be effective.

Abuse is a loss of control, usually by an adult with more power to enforce things. The point isn't so much to 'teach', as much as it is for the adult to feel better, to reassert his/her own authority (and control), and vent their frustration. Abuse is defined as 'intentional infliction of pain to the benefit of the perpetrator' (that's me, I'm quoting myself here!).

There are loads of studies that show that physical aggression is NOT required to provide the 'learning experience', and that it's presence might actually interfere with that process. But it's often easier for some, so it's (unfortunately) more universal.

[The Batman]

I think that it depends on the child, most kids don't need to be spanked to be disciplined but there are some that need to get their ass whopped. I don't really think that it was necessary for my parents to give me a spanking(but they did) but it did help to make me a more respectful person. I couldn't spank my kids because I can't stand to see children cry from pain(if it's some spoiled rampage it really pisses me off).

[Yasmine]

my mom doesn't need to hit me to get me to listen to her. if she tells me how she feels about something i do, that's enough to get me to listen. i'm not self absorbed. i care about other feelings, but there's some things that she tried to scare me into doing, and they shouldn't have been her choices. i don't think my mom has the right to tell me how to do everything, but there are things i should listen to her on.