All I Do Is Work.....and for All the Wrong Reasons

[wolverine2010]

Hi. I am not sure if this is the right area to talk about this, but it's making me a bit depressed so I figured it was the best location.

Growing up with successful parents and a significantly older brother who was always "the best" at everything, I've constantly felt a need to do well - academically and professionally. Everything is always about "How will others think of me if I do well in this..." or "I want to do well at this so my parents will say they are proud of me". I've been successful at a lot of things but the happy feeling only lasts as long as the attention.

I care about working so much that I use it as an excuse to avoid being social or getting involved in other things. When I hang out with "friends" (more like people who just don't mind that I am there), it's always about "what's next? when can I get more works done?".

I can't understand whether I don't have/enjoy a social life because I care too much about personal achievements or I care so much about working because I've never been able to make/find friends. I always keep saying "Next year....", "Next summer...", etc is when I'll have fun b/c of Reasons XYZ.

I am starting to not even enjoy working b/c I yearn to have more fun, but that feeling conflicts with my desire to "achieve", "impress", "succeed". So everyday is a constant struggle that causes headaches and an even greater desire to submerge myself in work so that I feel better about not doing anything "fun".

But, its starting to get really bad - almost to a point where I just want to drop out of school, forget about a career, and somehow, find freedom. My room at home & college feel more like a dungeon everyday instead of the sanctuary it used to provide.

I don't even know what kind of response/help I am hoping to receive....but I would be really appreciative of anything...

Thank you.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Working sucks let me tell you, and also parents can be stressing. Like I felt that If I worked my ass off for Noor's (my girlfriend) Father, he might learn to like, despite the fact that I got his step daughter pregnant. Still, I work my hands to the bone, chopping food,carrying heavy pots, and burning my hands on the stove. I rarely see my friends anymore, but they know why I work so hard. Because I love Noor, I took it upon myself to stick with her and pay for the child. Still, I sucks I know, still this is life we all need to work at one point or another. If you feel as though having personal acheivements is better, strive for that; but don't forget that you can incoperate friends into the equation.

[byee]

Sounds like you're in your older bro's shadow. It's hard growing up with stardom, they got all the attention for being the best, and you just.........watched.

And learned. That in order to get the emotional goodies in your family, you need to be the best, too. So, maybe you're trying to do all that in order to get the attention from your parents that your bro got.

I think you and they might want to find some time and have a long convo about what it was like for you, what you got from watching that, how it's affecting you now, and why you think you might be doing it. See if they're intent is to grant that level of attention and love based only on excellence, or if that was your incorrect assumption. It might make it easier for you to make the necessary course correction after you get that off your chest, and hear their response.

[Zephyr]

Simply put: Do what makes you happy.

Nothing is worth more than one's happiness.
Don't feel compelled to be greater than your brother.
In the end, I think that your parents couldn't ask for more than you doing what makes you happy.
Do as Sam suggested and have a conversation with your parents,
I'm sure they'd love to hear what's going on with you before it gets worse = ]