Bottled up.

[Alphacold]

mother

[Alphacold]

I really don't know what to do anymore...

[hobo]

you can make it through this. you might feel really bad now, but things can start changing for the better. one good thing can put you in a better mood and change your perception, you'll think your life isn't so bad, you'll be happier, you can do more with your life and turn things around. it's happened to me and it feels great, so keep hanging on and things will get better, trust me :)

[byee]

First, i'm really sorry you're feeling so bad, it really does sound like you're dealing with a lot, way too much, in fact. That needs to change.

Since you were already seeing a therapist, I would absolutely, positively recommend that you go back, maybe not to that one (b/c it's not 'relaxation therapy' you need), but at least to someone. Since your folks were obviously OK with it then, they would probably be OK with it now. Go tell them you'd like to go back. But this time, open up, really share the depths of your distress. That way, the therapist can help you address it and resolve it. Being the 'talking cure', therapy only works when you participate with your words, and those words need to be an accurate reflection of what's going on inside you.

Until then, what specifically can we do to help?

[Alphacold]

Well, that is the thing, I'm also very soft spoken, even to my parents, and I don't live with my dad. My dad has a lot of money, probably millions, but I'm not sure, and he says he has NO money, yet whenever I ask him for something he does it. I live in Hawaii, so It's not the easiest to find a therapist here. I just want to know exactly what to do...I don't think I will be able to open up to my parents, let alone get them in the same room. I have tried to open up to my mom before, but all she does is open herself up and start crying. So it goes very quickly from me to her. I...just feel trapped...


How do I get out?

[byee]

You get out by talking. You just need to say the right things to the right people.

First, if your mom is so overwrought that she cannot help you, then it might be better to not go there. Keep it simple with her, recognize that she isn't in a place right now where she can attend to you. Avoid those situations that inflame things.

You don't need to open up to dad much, either, but you might need to give him at least some info so he can help. I'm sure he's aware of your mom's condition, does he have any ideas? Can you maybe stay with him for a while? When you're talking about this, you might mention that you'd like to see a therapist to cope better with this, there are therapists on Hawaii, beng in therapy will get you some support and find out ways to cope better with this. It sounds like a situation where you need some outside help.

[Alphacold]

Well, that is my exact problem. My dad hasn't seen a doctor for years, and he is totally happy. He thinks its a bunch of cow manure for doctors, "claiming they know things" I can not IMAGINE what he would think about me seeing a therapist. My brothers would make fun of me, I would really rather not resort to therapy...maybe I could talk to one privately? I'd like to get outside help, but how do I get outside? Oh, and my father was never okay with anybody seeing a therapist, he did'nt even know!

I really don't know.

[byee]

How old are you? and who do you live with? ages?

We can talk here, i just think you need someone real time. How did you get to see your prior therapist?

Also, i understand that some people don't like therapy, usually b/c they don't understand it and how it works. But, your dad knows how stressful it is living with your mom? What you need is some support, if he can understand what's going on for you, maybe he can offer some of that?

[Alphacold]

I'm 16, I live with my mom. She's like 39 or something.

I got see my prior one just to practice relaxation techniques, because I was getting migraines. He doesn't really understand, considering he was the one that was irritating.


I'm starting to feel better, talking about this, and letting it out, is really doing wonders for me.

[byee]

OK, that's good that this helps. Sometimes just being able to talk about it is helpful, I'm just sorry I can't fix this for you.

Maybe the task here is for you to be better able to just cope with all this, and manage it better so it doesn't unsettle you as much.

Do you have supports outside your family, friends and such? Not so much to talk with (although that might help), but just to be with. Companionship, as well as just normal interactions can really be helpful here. Do you get that?

[Alphacold]

I've got friends, but I wouldn't tell them any of this...

[byee]

Good, it's good that you've got friends. You need them to have fun, to enjoy yourself, to get 'good stuff'. That's a form of support, too. You don't necessarily need to 'talk' with them about this in order to have the time with them be beneficial in helping you cope with your family stuff.