oh no....

[nullandvoid123]

well, as you all probably know, i like this girl named carly, and i was thinking about asking her out soon. but the other day at the football game, i got this message from one of my other friends in the band and they said that this friend of mine from the colorguard really likes me (steph). i just like her as a friend though. and this all happens right before the party tonight that i'm going to that carly will be at where i was prolly gonna ask her out. but i don't wanna hurt stephs feelings. what the hell should i do?

[ACantstantEar]

Well, this is a tough situation.
Answer this question:

A person who you are not interested in asks you out. Do you?

A) Pretend to like that person, in an attempt to spare that person's feelings.
B) Be honest, and tell the person how you feel in a calm and mature way
C) You rudely turn down her offer, not caring about how they feel.

Answering that question could be an outlet.. -OR-

You could do the obvious, mature thing for this type of situation: you could tell Steph how you feel, sparing her feelings where you can, but still telling her the obvious; that you're not interested, but don't walk up to her and change your decision because you are scared of hurting her...in this situation, you have to do what is right for you.

As in any relationship case, you have to follow your instincts; your emotions; your heart.

[nullandvoid123]

yeah, we were friends first and i dont want to ruin the friendship by hurting her... and i know if i ask carly out tonight and she says yes and steph finds out, she would hate me.... thanks for the help though. i think if she askes me out ill just do what you said and tell her that i dont have feelings for her in a mature way. thanks.

[ACantstantEar]

Well, if you are afraid of ruining a friendship, then there is something else that you need to take into mind: which is more important, the friendship with Steph, or the potential relationship with Carly. Remember, friendships can last, but teenage relationships almost always end at one point or another....

[nullandvoid123]

man this sucks lol

[ACantstantEar]

Well, part of being a teenager (yes, this kind of thing is not reserved for adults, like many believe)-teenagers have to make hard decisions. It sucks that the party is tonight. Well, don't stress too much, and if you think of the right decision, and it feels right, stick to it.

[nullandvoid123]

oh man... it keeps getting worse and worse. now steph asked me out for next friday. i already know i cant go then because my other friend is having a party, but that means shes gonna ask me out, and i felt bad enough telling her that i would have to think about it. please help.

[ScotsGirl]

First of all just breathe...in and out...deep breaths...have you calmed down a bit now? :P Its alot harder to try and figure things out if your completely stressed about them so you need to just relax a bit ;) ...

Anyway, Steph has already asked you out then or...? Sorry i dont really understand what you mean about next friday and steph asking you out already or...umm...yeah...could you explain that again thanks :D

As for the part which i did understand :P lol ...i agree with soontobehomeschooled, i think you need to be honest with Steph about your feelings towards her, if she has managed to build up the courage to be honest about her feelings towards you and ask you out, then i think its only fair that you return the favour, right?
And i suggest, if possible, that you do this before you ask Carly out. You may even want to discuss Carly with Steph? Im not sure what type of relationship you have with Steph, if you would talk about things like that, but that is entirely your decision...Just make sure you are honest with Steph about your feelings for her.

I know you said that you dont want to damage your friendship you have with Steph, but if that friendship is worth anything then surely she will appreciate if you are honest with her. She may not feel that way immediately as rejection isnt the easiest thing to deal with, but she should realise that its better than you leading her on just so you dont hurt her right now, because i guarantee it would hurt her alot more if she found out in a few months time that you dont feel the same way that she feels about you...dont forget to let her know how much she means to you as a friend etc

Finally, with Carly, i think you should go for it. You missed your chance to ask her to the dance so learn from that and go for it. Like i said to you before, either way you are gaining something from this. If she says yes, you get to be with her if she says no, then at least you managed to build up the courage to ask her, something you wouldnt have done if it wasnt for her, right? ...just think of it as some practice for next time ;)

At the end of the day though, it is your decision what you choose to do. If i were you i would be honest and try to make sure i take my opportunities...it isnt often we get second chances...

Goodluck with things!

:D
xxx

[nullandvoid123]

thanks, and yeah, steph asked me if i wanted to go on a date on friday, and i said i dunno. and last night she had a friend come over to me and ask her how i felt about her, and i said i just like her as a friend. hopefully thats the end of it. thanks for the advice :)

[nullandvoid123]

thanks

[ScotsGirl]

thanks, and yeah, steph asked me if i wanted to go on a date on friday, and i said i dunno. and last night she had a friend come over to me and ask her how i felt about her, and i said i just like her as a friend. hopefully thats the end of it. thanks for the advice :)

No problem :D and im glad things worked out alright :D

How are things going with Carly?:D

:D
xxx

[nullandvoid123]

ive decided that im probably gonna ask her out next week... i hope she says yes!