Seconds [Poem]

[Underground_Network]

One.
Two.
Three.
Four.

The seconds ticking,
Upward now,
Rather than ticking,
Downward like before.

Time is not running out,
No, in fact,
There seems to be
Too much time.

There's not enough to do,
Not enough to pursue,
Not enough desire,
Not enough heart.

You want it,
And you have the time,
But you can't get it,
Because you just don't know how to.

You try harder and harder,
But you get nowhere,
Because you lack the ability,
That ability to do it.

To do what?
To do it.
To do everything.
You just can't do it.

You have heart,
You have desire,
But you just don't have enough,
You just need more.

But you can't get more,
And thus you can't move forward,
So as time goes up,
You fall down.

Its like opposites attracting,
Except that attraction means,
"Drawing apart", and that,
You can never come together again.

Time fades away,
Its gone now,
Deeper into darkness
Forever lost, but not forever forgotten.

You are done now too.
Time is gone,
So there is no constraint on eternity,
But yet you are restrained by your own free will.

You can't move,
You can't speak, talk, hear,
You can't feel,
You can't even breath.

You're bound to the ground,
You're weaker than ever before,
You can't even move your legs
Let alone walk.

Death is the only thought
On your mind right now,
Death is the only option,
But you're too weak to even die.

Thus there are no options,
Stuck in a timeless universe,
A universe perpendicular
To the universe of time.

Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Done.

[SirRawrsalot]

Incredible. I loved it. It really meant a lot to me. I enjoyed reading it.

"But you can't get more,
And thus you can't move forward,
So as time goes up,
You fall down."

Favorite lines.

+1 rep

[Underground_Network]

Thanks. :D

I've looked at you [as well as many other writers] and your poems, and decided I really like poetry. Most of the stuff I've done on here is songs, but songs are much harder to write. Free verse poems are really fun to write and are a way of getting your feelings out. I really love poetry [which is kind of a secret to most irl].

[SirRawrsalot]

Does that mean I kind of inspired someone? lol No one knows I love poetry outside of VT. It's not worth getting into fights about it with people. I've written poetry about keeping poetry a secret. lol It helps me a lot. I over due it though. I have probably 50 - 60 poems. just laying around.

[Underground_Network]

^^ Well, I was in a creative writing class where we were "forced" to write poetry. There were a couple of jocks in that class who always asked me why me poems were so good/if I liked poetry. I always told them I was a songwriter [which is partially true] and that I didn't exactly like poetry, but that it came easy since I was used to writing songs. They believed me and didn't pick on me/respected me actually. Even one of my close friends who took that class with me would always be on my case saying like, "Why do you always make your poems perfect? Who cares? This class is an easy A... Blah blah blah blah" I actually really enjoyed the class and the experience. I look forward to Creative Writing 2 next year and writing more poetry... :D

[SirRawrsalot]

I've never had the opportunity to take a class. I would have if i would've stayed in Italy though. I don't think you can force someone to write poetry. That seems wrong. I'd tell someone is they asked that I enjoyed poetry. I'm nott ashamed of it.

[Underground_Network]

^^ I'm not ashamed of it either, but at the time I wasn't being completely untruthful. I never answered the question of "do you enjoy/like poetry?" and in fact when my friend [from that class] asked me if I liked it, I said something like, "I like some poetry, especially free verse." He was okay with that and wasn't completely "weirded out", but still, I don't know. I figure if people don't care that I write stories and songs that they won't care that I write poems too, but I just don't know. I think in cw2 next year, if anyone asks me if I like poetry I'll say yes. I mean I repeatedly told my creative writing teacher that poetry was my favorite part of the class, and even admitted it in front of the whole class come to think of it. So yeah, I don't completely hide it, but like, most of my friends [outside of the class, which is the majority of my friends] don't know that I even write poetry let alone enjoy it.

[SirRawrsalot]

None of my friends do, but they never asked. I'm not sure why poetry is hated by so many people, but it is. I always tell myself "those idiots can say what they want about poetry, I have the girlfriend who enjoys it" lol

[Underground_Network]

Yeah, most girls I know enjoy poetry, but they don't know I'm a "poet". I suck at talking to people anyways, so unless they asked me if I liked poetry, the subject would be unlikely to come up.

[SirRawrsalot]

lol Ya, I understand. I can't talk about my poetry. I can read it aloud and reply to comments, but I can't actually talk about what they mean. If you guess and get it right I'll tell you (there's a challenge for you to do if you're bored.) Do you write these right before you post them, or do you have some stash of poetry?

[Underground_Network]

^^ 99% of the time I write them right before I post them.

[SirRawrsalot]

I write them whenever I get inspired. My favorite poem I woke up at 1 AM and went to the john and started writing on some toilet paper lol. Then I copied it to paper, because toilet paper doesn't look great in a notebook.

[Underground_Network]

^^ Most of the time I type up my poems. I rarely write any more, since I'm always by my computer anyways [most of the time]... At the camp I'm at though, if I ever get really inspired, I'll be forced to write on paper... :D

[SirRawrsalot]

I can only write on paper. I can't write anything on the computer that's poetry related. It just isn't the same to me.

[Underground_Network]

^^ I don't know, I just like typing. It helps me get things out easier than speaking or writing. I mean, I love writing my stories on paper. And I just like writing with pen or pencil on paper, but typing seems so much easier. To me it doesn't really matter, it's whatever is more convenient, whatever will help me get my ideas out faster and more accurately. I often write in pen, and on the computer things are much neater, you don't have to cross something out if you make a mistake, you simply use the backspace button and *voila* its fixed!

[SirRawrsalot]

lol I just restart if I mess up because I need to have a perfect paper. My handwriting is practically a new language except when I'm writing poetry. Then it's nice. Because that actually matters. to me. :)

BTW - This poem sounds like

1) you feel a little trapped

2) you are desperate to do something but you're afraid to start and fail.

3) You wish you could die, but you're too afraid to commit suicide. There's a little doubt somewhere that says it might not be worth it.


That's a rough draft of my thoughts of what this means.

[Underground_Network]

^^ Yeah, I was aiming at the trapped part [as I do in most of my poems] and desperation is also a part. I'm not the greatest at interpreting poetry [even my own poems] and sometimes other people's interpretations of my own writing are more fitting than my own interpretations.

[SirRawrsalot]

Any poem can mean anything to anyone. It's all up for interpretation. I guess it depends on whether you think a metaphor means the same thing I do. And also I don't know what situation you wrote it in.