negative support from dad

[lxl]

im veryyyy angry and frustrated so im just gonna vent here... any comments or advices would be wonderful
yeah we were dining with like whole bunch of ppl and my dad happens to sit nest to me (damn)
and i was just minding my own business, talking with my people, and my dad just decides to jump in and ruin the conversation
i was talking about my future career as a musician, but noooooo dad comes in and tells everyone how unskilled i am and it will be impossible for you to succeed in life if i become a musician, and just kept ranting on about how unrealistic it is for me to be successful in life
i just got real mad and upset and im having impulses of really inflicting harm on my dad because not only he isn't supportive, he thinks so highly of himself and thinks what he says is all true... just a big stuck-up bastard
yes this aint the first time i got frustrated with dad.... it has been going on for at least 3-4 years how much he irritates me and i cannot talk back to him or he will take everything away from my life (friends, hobbies, future dream of musician as he takes away my lesson for my instrument)
i have to pretend to love him, but deep inside i have a hatred burning up and he is just making it worse every SINGLE DAY and i plan to never see dad again after i leave for college... i dont even want to call him a dad anymore

[Hyper]

If what you say is true to the letter.. Then I'd just get by somehow till I can get away from ''dad''

Of course having a good relationship with your father would be a nice thing I think ( though wouldn't know.. ) but if what you say is true then your dad isn't much of a father

[lxl]

i have to agree with you... he is driven by his anger and impulse all the time
when he's angry, he takes everything away from me and cusses and stuff
and he's such a phony... he does good things and helps out at church and be nice to everyone, but when he gets home, he cusses his mouth off, blame all the problems in the world to someone in the family, and that's just wrong i believe
i love my mom, but unfortunately my mom probably would choose dad over me if it comes down to that...
this really sucks and i have to just wait 2 more years until i get out of school and leave this family

[byee]

I'm really sorry for you, not only for this particular incident, but for the ongoing insults you have to endure, and all those hidden bad feelings. Yuck. I doubt he realizes what he's missing, which is really too bad, for both of you.

I think you have 2 choices here, if I can offer some advice beyond just being supportive. The first is to come up with a way to talk with him calmly about his behavior, if not in the moment when he's humiliating you, maybe later. Sometimes people say the most outrageous things without really recognizing them as such. Maybe if you could calmly bring to his attention how 'unhelpful' his remarks are he might be better able to control himself? Maybe your mom could help, maybe you could tell her, too?

The other choicm is to come up with a way to just cope with his and his inappropriateness. It's just 2 years, you'll be done with him soon enough, and sometimes just keeping your eye on that ball makes it easier to tolerate the day to day misery.