looking ahead

[Gumleaf]

so, my gf joanne and i have been together nearly 4 months now :D and we are still very happy together.:D before we were together we had been good friends for about 2 years. so bearing both those things in mind, how realistically should be looking as far as our future together should go?

before we had hooked up, we had talked about going to europe together for a holiday when we both finish school, just as friends though of course at that time. but are these sorts of things realistic goals when we are a couple and have only been so for nearly 4 months. and then late this week jo asked me about how long after school finishes for us (like 2011) would we want to either get married or live together. i told her that 3.5 years is a long way off and we should start to think about it in maybe 2 years time or something.

do you think that thats the bet approach. i mean, we are still very young and we are talking about marriage and living together. it seems too soon to be thinking about these things to me. what do you think?

[Maverick]

Live in the moment and enjoy your time together. Don't worry so much about the future just yet.

[byee]

I think you guys really like eachother, and as a result, you plan for the future. All this talk is really just a reflection of those really nice feelings you have for eachother.

Enjoy them for what they are, it's sorta a compliment to you when she talks about 'forever', but don't make any committments, try to keep it on the fantasy level it is, and return the compliment perhaps more directly by telling her how special she is to you now and how much yo enjoy your time together.

[Gumleaf]

I think you guys really like eachother, and as a result, you plan for the future. All this talk is really just a reflection of those really nice feelings you have for eachother.

Enjoy them for what they are, it's sorta a compliment to you when she talks about 'forever', but don't make any committments, try to keep it on the fantasy level it is, and return the compliment perhaps more directly by telling her how special she is to you now and how much yo enjoy your time together.

fantasy level? are you suggesting the feelings i have for her aren't real??? maybe i have misunderstood?

[byee]

The feelings are real, for sure. The talk of marriage and kids and the house with the white picket fence are fantasy. They come from the reality of all those good feelings, and the fact that when people feel really good, when they really love someone else, they never see it ending. Hence, the fantasy stuff into the future.

I still think it's a really nice compliment, Stephen, she really is developing deeper feelings for you! Enjoy that, but since we never know what the future holds, it might be best to respond by keeping it in the moment, and clarifying what your feelings for her now are, how much you like her, too.

(sorry for any confusion)

[kerry]

think of now not the future enjoy your time with your gf

[AutumnDae]

I'm sure you have many feelings for Joanne, but I wouldn't talk about marriage or living together yet. You are in what 8th grade? 9th grade?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that its not possible. You are the same age as my sister was when she got with Kirk, and that will be 4 years in August. They are planning on getting a place to live, after she finishes college, and he is encouraging her to go away to college.

When that time comes, choosing a college, and if you are with Joanne, or anyone else for the matter, don't choose a college based on your girlfriend. Go where you want to.

Since you have only been together for 4 months, talking about that far in the future seems a bit of a long shot. It's great to talk about, but don't promise her anything yet. Although what do I know really?

Us girls remember ALL those little promises you made. Trust me when I tell you that.

[Gumleaf]

i haven't promised her anything autumn. in fact she was the one doing most of the talking about it. the likely hood of either of us having to leave sydney to go to university is very small. i just think that maybe we should talk about this more if we are still really happy in a couple of years.