Had to say something. =x

[jma94]

Well, I'm not sure why I'm posting, but here goes. Latly I havn't been feeling like myself. I'm always tired, but can't ever sleep. I've been loosing interest in things little by little. I'm not eating much. I don't like being around people. I feel sad. I feel guilty about things. I dunno why. So yeah, I get it. I'm getting a little bit of depression. But what I don't get is why. I've been through some things in my life, but not that bad. I don't like feeling like this, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. I dunno. I act as if I'm fine around my gardian, because hell would break loose if she thought i wasn't the happiest person in the world. ><

Well, thanks for listening. I had to say something, I don't have people to talk to about these sorts of things. My friends wouldn't understand, and my family would flip.
-Jesse

[Bryan B]

Interesting

I also don't like to be around people and some other things but yeah i know how is feel to act as someone that you are not pretending being happy or like something or being like someone else.

So if you feel guilt about somethings you need to overcome, is something that already happen you cannot do anything more to fix that.

And why do you are loosing interest in things, in what type or why? do use drugs?

[jma94]

No, I don't use drugs. I don't know why I feel guilty, I just do. :x And I'm loosing interest in all sorts of things I used to like. Online games, games and so on. I don't want to do anything. I hardly like going online, but like I said, I have to seem happy, or hell breaks loose. D:

[Bryan B]

...
and do you do self harm?

[jma94]

Yeah, I do. >.< I'm not proud of it, but I do. I wanna stop.

[byee]

Jesse, it does sound like something's wrong, if it's not depression, it's certianly something, and it's different from the way you used to feel. The question is why.

At 13, stuff that happened in the past has a way of coming back, with a bit more intensity, adolescence will do that. Maybe some of the stuff you've been thru and thought was over or you've dealt with really isn't? You said your 'guardian', that suggests whatever it was must have been pretty big if there's one of those in your life.

It's always good to try to figure out what is bothering you so you can address it directly, and to be aware when it's coming on. Maybe talking about it would help, but don't underestimate the power of a good distraction, like a hobby or an interest or the like. And although it might be tempting to do something hurtful to yourself (as you've alluded to) that won't solve anything, and just cause more probs.

[jma94]

Yeah, by now I know that harming myself does nothing. Quick fix. =x

[BillyWitchDoctor.com]

its kinda hard to say what to do because id say you should slow down and just let things unfold, which would probably in time show u in some way wahts getting at u, but then u say that if u seem sad all hell breaks loose. i think you should, in ur time alone, do something that really lets u let go. for example, i know that going outside on my own away from people really just lets me let go and think about anything
find sometghing like that for yourself and just do that for a bit, its summer now so you can really think about things in ur life. also maybe you should find a close friend to talk to being as u seem to not be able to talk to ur guardian