Thoughts of running away

[Medical Kid]

I cant take it anymore, my neighborhood, family, and pretty much my lifestyle are really sucking, my mom moves all the time so I never keep a friends for over a year or 2, my dad is a total jackass to me when I'm nice to him, and he hits me all the time, my siblings are extremely unappreciative of my hard efforts, but when I think of my dear mother........I lose resolve to leave home, you see she and my dad fight alot, he has assaulted her, but I always try to break the fight up, I was even hurt trying to defend her sometimes, and the worst part is she does nothing wrong, and if I left home, she would be heart broken, and someone as young as me would never survive on my own..... if I had a friend in a far off continent or country, I would go there and never come back to america, but my mom loves me so much, and I'm so close to her, but I cant keep living like this anymore...... I need opinions on these thoughts please :(

[SirRawrsalot]

Well, the thing that would really help your mother is to contact your state (or any local) domestic violence/ sexual assault agency and they can take it from there. That will involve you being take away from your father (with your mother of course) because the idiots don't think the father should leave the home. I take this really seriously by the way. Abusing a child and the mother.... Another option is to call the police and tell them (which will end the same, because then they will contact the shelter). Or you can deal with it, which is not the way to do it. Don't run away, if you want to make any impact at all (and not get beaten and forced to go home) you won't run away. I suggest googling "*your city* *state* domestic violence shelter" and there should be a phone number. They will get you and your mother out of the house. I really hope this goes well. I know how it feels. My father was the same kind of person.

[krystalm]

take some deep breaths and exhale. this situation has a way out, but it isn't easy, and sometimes people can't do it. the best thing for you to do would call domestic violence or the police, but often victims of abuse can't do it. you can't betray them, i know i couldn't betray my father, and if this has been going on, i'm sure you already have considered that and decided against it. running away won't help and it will make the situation worse for everyone. the best thing you can do is stay out of it. i know how bad it hurts to see someone you love being hurt by someone you both should be able to trust. but don't let yourself get physically harmed. talk to your mother privately, give her options, tell her that you guys need to get out of there or you will take the responsibility on yourself via police or whatever. for the moving; we move every two years as well. i guess i'm diffrent, i like the change, maybe make some friends online with forums like this, people that aren't based on location.

[SirRawrsalot]

I don't know if just sitting around and waiting while your father beats your mother (and you possibly) is a good idea. You should definitely talk to your mother in private about it and express your concern.

[krystalm]

of course not! that' isnt' what i mean, but when the abuse is going on he shouldn't get in the way of it, and put all of that on yourself, a mother should have to protect her children and get them out of the situation. he should most definitely discuss this with his mother asap before anything happens.

[MrPinnick17]

Yeah. Running away is pretty selfish, I mean what's the rest of your family gonna do? I wish there were some more details like how your mom feels about the whole thing. Some moms are in denial about certain situations while others want a way out but just don't know how. I really agree with everyone else when they say talk to your mom about what's going on, you could be a big help in finding things you guys could do while she holds down things at home. As for your siblings, they I guess are going through the same thing as you and probably feel like shit. They probably want your support and love, and maybe need to be reassured that no matter what happens your sticking together.

I just don't get if your mom and dad live together. When you say your mom moves a lot it sounds like it's just your and your siblings, but if he hits you a lot do you guys live with him? Just stay strong, first step is talking to your mom, and letting your siblings know you've got their back. Good Luck, let me know if you need something.

[byee]

Hmmmmm.....I'm glad you have your mom!

Adults sometimes make decisons that don't make a whole lot of sense, be it your dad not appreciating her and you and being abusive, or your mom's decision to stay with him. However, one thing is clear, and that is this is an unhealthy situation, and unfortunately as the kid there's not much you can do.

Try talking calmly about it with your mom, see if you and she cannot at least work on a plan to keep you and your sibs safe, maybe even keeping her safe. Maybe you can be an objective reporter to her, observe how out of control, unhealthy, and downright dangerous it is for everyone, and suggest that it needs to stop. Try to help her see it better than she can on her own (sometimes when people are really close to something, regardless of how clearly bad it is, they cannot see it). Urge her to do something, maybe get other family members involved.

This might take a while, but stay at it.

[SirRawrsalot]

Make sure to delete your history btw

If you talk to your mom near a comp show her this:

http://www.mnadv.org/get_help.html
I volunteer at my states domestic violence/sexual assault agency and they know exactly what to do.

[Medical Kid]

no its that I wish was just gone....even if my dad was gone i would still be miserable...

[SirRawrsalot]

Well, it isn't easy. Life isn't easy no matter what people tell you. You just need some endurance! There are people in situations just like yours (i know some of them) and they've turned their life around completely. You just have to think positive and don't give up on yourself. Strive to make things better. The more you want it the sooner it will come. Sometimes it's hard and takes some extra thinking (like now) and others might need to help (like now), but eventually there's a good turn out to everything. You just have to want it and strive towards it.

[krystalm]

oh please stay strong! don't believe that, and even if it is so, maybe then you can confront other problems and get help from them. have you ever seen a therapist or anything? life gets better then this, i hope you know, and even though the light seems really far away, it's worth it. just get there. stay strong.

[Medical Kid]

like a therapist would take me seriously, I'm 13..

[SirRawrsalot]

A therapist will take you seriously. I went to a therapist when I was 12 and she listened to every word and helped me a lot.

[jma94]

Well, I think everyone who has posted before me pretty much covered it. But I might as well say it again. First off, if the abuse gets out of hand, you really should contact the police or whichever you choose. Siblings always get on your nerves. It's sort of something you can't avoid. Even if they are ungrateful. But seriously~ As hard as it is, you have to talk to your mom or the police or something. It'll get better. As previously said, be strong. :3

[jacketkiller34]

you should definitely call the police or a domestic violence agency. Even though you might be scared to do so because then your dad cant hurt you or your family.