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Kaleidoscope Eyes
June 18th, 2008, 03:03 PM
This is a poem I wrote in response to the song "Solstice Sunrise" by Timmer. When I listen to it and close my eyes, this is what I see. Any and all con-crit (constructive criticism) is appreciated. :)

Moonlight shines through tall fir trees,
diffused to hazy gossamer glow,
as a nightingale sings from his unseen perch,
his melody wafting upwards
to dance amongst the pinpricks in the deep blue velvet sky.
The air is thick with the scent of pine,
wildflowers,
dirt and moss,
mist from the river
which tickles my nose with each breath.
Dipping my hand into the water,
quicksilver in the starlight,
so smooth and cool at my fingertips,
I watch it ripple outward from my touch.
Such simple elegance
in those concentric circles,
stretching on into infinity.
Falling back to meet the ground,
my heart beats out the rhythm
for the nightingale’s tune.
A silent breeze sweeps through to carry me high,
high,
above the trees, weightless
like dust in the wind,
particles scattering,
far and wide,
all parts of a single whole.

Underground_Network
June 18th, 2008, 03:23 PM
That's a great poem Jessi. :) I don't know the song, but that poem makes me want to check it out.

Kaleidoscope Eyes
June 18th, 2008, 06:03 PM
If you listen to the song, make sure you set some time aside. It's about half an hour long, haha, and it's one of those ambient deals. It has a lot of different cultural sounds in it too, maybe that's why I sort of associate it with nature... hm. Just another song my boyfriend sent me one day, he finds the craziest stuff.

japanman
June 19th, 2008, 03:15 AM
That poem was crazy as hell!!
you gots potintial :)

and ill look up the song.

Ripplemagne
June 13th, 2009, 02:20 AM
First of all, I adore the title. The wording is quite good, though the punctuation irks me. XD It's a good visualization, but I don't like settings that don't go anywhere. Though, I understand the purpose of this particular poem, so you don't lose points.

I watch it ripple

<3 I knew you digged me.

Kaleidoscope Eyes
June 13th, 2009, 02:23 AM
Though, I understand the purpose of this particular poem, so you don't lose points.

Psh, I better not! I don't give you the opportunity to resurrect one of my poem threads just to dock points! xP

Ripplemagne
June 13th, 2009, 02:29 AM
I should deduct points just because, now. XD

Kaleidoscope Eyes
June 13th, 2009, 07:30 PM
But, but, but.... You're so hurtful!! *storms off*

sasquatch
June 14th, 2009, 04:45 PM
it is a beautiful poem Jessi :)

haha, i do find crazy stuff, it's actually very very very ambient goa trance, but i doubt people will be able to find it without some extreme luck, i will get a link though, because there are other very good tracks....

right, the orginal website seems ot have dissapeared!!!! NOOO! but! never fear sasquatch is here :P

http://www.stumbleupon.com/s/#33o71g/www.tribeoffrog.co.uk/music/radio.php/topic:Music

solstice sunrise is right down the very very bottom, just click the little down arrow to download , tis all free and legal.

and.... psychosonic-june 2007. is awesome as well...... pink panther with a twist.

hope you guys like the psytrance :D:D:D
muhaha infecting you all with my hippie music!

good luck peoples!

awesome poem Jessi! :D