not okay.

[ArtistInNeed]

i havent had my medicine for a month now and im going crazy! i get angry at my bf all the time now and i cry all the time and i hate being alone but i dont want to go out either, this is the worst i have felt in a while. its hard for me to get an app with my psyciatrist cause his office is so far away and my mom is hopeless;l my therapist pisses me off too, he never calls me back with an app and he rarely answers my texts anymore. idk wat to do, i just want to end it all, i cant deal with this crap anymore, this is complete bullshit, and i dont think my friends would help me out much. my best friend is depressing enough as it is and my other friend is just annoying, she never has anything productive to say and shes so stupid, my other friend is too wrapped up in her own problems and i cant bother her with mine..ugh i just hate this. i could talk to my bf about all of this but i dont want him to have to deal with my shit and he barely knows what to say as it is, this whole depression thing confuses him i think. i just want to feel good again, its 1230am now and ive been on and off crying since 9pm...

[byee]

Well, why havent you had your meds in a month? They sound like they were working! Get back on them. Tell your Shrink you want to go back on them, and ask him to call it into the pharmacy. Maybe that's easier than waiting for an appointment, etc.

All the other stuff you're feeling sounds like it's feeling worse by your not being on the meds, when you're back on them, maybe you'll feel better about this stuff, too. Sounds like the priority is getting back on those meds!

[ArtistInNeed]

yea, ive called to ask for him to call the pharmacy but wenever i call hes like "yea ok,appointment, tomorrow at 630, kay bye." i hate him, hes annoying. i need my meds so much and i dont even kno why i still make app's, ive been on the same meds since november, he cant just keep giving me refills? i just dont feel good anymore, i keep crying and i want to kill myself...ugh, this just sux so much. :(

[SirRawrsalot]

First off don't kill yourself. You'll get on the meds again soon and everything will get better. It doesn't sound like your depression can get worse so just wait it out. You have a lot of people who wouldn't want to see you kill yourself. As for your psychiatrist, tell him how you feel. If you feel that depressed and you tell him (if he's smart) he'll help. Just remember that if you really feel like killing yourself, talk to someone. Here or in real life (although it sounds like there isn't anyone to listen). A lot of people here probably know what you feel like. I do, and I'll be on all day if you do need to talk to someone. Don't do anything you'd regret doing if you were actually on the meds and felt good.