A Guide to Making Friends

[Gumleaf]

How to Make Friends


There's a certain beauty in being a lone wolf (people with no friends). You have more time to do things you want to do, like talk to yourself, play solitaire, write poetry, or try to carry that couch into your new apartment all by yourself. If that's not your bag, though, there are literally billions of potential friends in the world. What's more, many of these people want to make friends just as much as you do. So just follow these steps to meet new people and form strong, lasting friendships.


Steps:

Get out and meet people! If you want to make friends, you first need to meet people. No matter where you live, this should be fairly easy. Just in case you're stumped, here are just a few suggestions.

- If you're in school or work and have a lot of co-workers and peers, you're surrounded by potential friends for a large portion of your day. A way to make a friend is to not be shy; go up to that person ask questions, like "what is your name?" "Are you on a team?" Act friendly and be honest and trustworthy.
- Join a club with people of common interests. You don't necessarily have to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them--in fact, some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have much in common at all--but if you have something in common with people, it can make it a lot easier to talk to them and plan activities initially. Whatever your age and whatever your interests, there is a club or organization for you.
- Join a team. Especially if you're in school, joining a sports team can be great way to make friends. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team, or if you're in elementary school just join a sport or do drama with your friend . As long as you enjoy the sport or other activities, try your best, and acknowledge that you're not a pro, your teammates will usually be more than happy to accept you for who you are.
- Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, you could maybe even join girl scouts, or cub scouts because you'll be doing charity work and also making friends that way, the fact that you're devoting your time to something free of charge shows that you're compassionate and unselfish, two traits of good friends.
- Get online. In general, the internet isn't a great place to make real friends, the kind who will be there for you when you really need them. Never use the internet to meet some one you now will consider your "best friend". You don't know this person and making them your best friend will not do anything good in your life. If you live in a really isolated place, the internet can also help you find other people around the world that share your interests.


Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church, and you still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people. By the same token, you don't have to be involved with an organization to talk to people, and any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the person in front of you on the lunch line. Don't be picky. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts, in that you may never talk to that person again or you'll just remain acquaintances, but once in a while you'll actually make a friend.

- Introduce yourself early in the conversation. Your name doesn't necessarily need to be the first thing out of your mouth, but if you're looking to make friends, knowing each other's names is a good start. Once you introduce yourself, the other person will typically do the same. Remember his or her name, and use it later in the conversation.
- Make small talk. Friends can talk about just about anything, but you don't want to get too personal when you first meet someone. Just make good, inoffensive small talk at first.
- Open up the opportunity for another meeting. When you meet someone whom you think might make a good friend, try to exchange contact information. This is especially important if you meet someone who you aren't otherwise likely to meet again. Seize the day!

- If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others, in a club, for example, to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. If you have a club, band, church, etc. that you think they might enjoy take the opportunity to give them your number or email address and invite them to join you.
- If you're new in town or at school and are just looking to meet people, don't be afraid to mention this. People are often excited about meeting new people, showing them around, and introducing them to their friends.


Be fun to be around. You don't have to be a superstar to be fun. You don't even have to do cartwheels. You do need to be positive and friendly, however, so that people feel good when they're around you. From the very first conversation you have with someone, you should use body language to convey that you are affable, non-threatening, and approachable. Smile frequently, laugh often, and make eye contact. In your words, be confident, but don't be cocky, condescending, or mean-spirited.


Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend material" they have to appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you're interested in others. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. People love to talk about themselves, and the easiest way to be likeable is to listen. You don't want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation. These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends.


Be reliable. The steps above are great for making acquaintances, but how do acquaintances become lifelong friends? One important trait of a good friend is reliability. When you say you'll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on.


Be trustworthy. One of the best things about having a friend is that you have someone to whom you can talk about anything, even secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. The key to being a good confidante is the ability to keep secrets, so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people things that were told to you in confidence. Before people even feel comfortable opening up to you, however, you need to build trust. Be honest about yourself and your beliefs, and don't gossip about others or spread rumors.


Be there. You've probably heard of fair-weather friends. They're the ones who are happy to be around you when things are going well, but are nowhere to be found when you really need them. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and energy in order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on, be there.


Be true to yourself. A good friend sometimes does things he or she doesn't want to do, such as helping a friend move or going to see a band that you don't really like, but you should never feel pressured to do something you think is wrong. Stay true to your convictions and beliefs, and if this causes you to lose some friends, you're better off without them. You'll also find that your integrity may help you win a lot of other friends, and if you just be yourself you'll make friends who like you for who you are.


Tips
- Accept everyone for who they are and never bring anyone down or try to change someone (especially if they've done nothing to hurt or offend you). This communicates insecurity. If you don't get along with someone, try avoidance instead of creating a rivalry.
- Always trust your gut feelings about people. If you feel someone (as nice as they may seem) is not the right person to make friends with, then move along.
- Don't be clingy or annoying. Over-obsessing over someone makes you seem weird and strange, not friendly.
- You never want to seem desperate. Don't chide acquaintances for failing to invite you to a party, for example; don't call someone over and over or stop by uninvited; and never overstay your welcome anywhere. In general, take friendship slowly, and don't try to become close to somebody right away. The move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time, and if you appear too clingy, potential friends may think you're too much work.
- Keep the lines of communication open. Lasting friendships don't just happen. They require work, especially if one friend moves away for an extended period or for good. Even if you don't get to see a friend, you should try to call or email him or her regularly just to check in and say "hi." With any luck, they'll do the same. It's easy to lose friends to distance, but it isn't necessary.
- It's easier to be yourself than to be someone who you are not because the only reason true friends want to be friends with you is because of your personality. But if you decide to act a certain way around people, nobody will know who you really are.


Warnings
- Don't try to change yourself in order to fit in to make new friends. If you have to change yourself to be with a group of people then they are not worth being friends with.
- Remember, never leave old friends because you like someone else more. This is a big, bad mistake. It's great to have different groups of friends, but if you abandon one group for another, you may soon find yourself without any friends at all.
- Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right. If one of your friends is doing something that you know is wrong, confront them. If you're a friend, you won't let them do the wrong thing.
- Be careful about getting together with people that you meet online. They might not be who they say they are.
- Don't try to buy friends by giving people gifts or money. While it's nice to give a friend a gift sometimes, if you go overboard it's creepy. A person who will "be your friend" because you buy him or her things probably just likes things, not you.
- It is good to identify your own aims and objectives in life so that genuine and honest friends with common interests [not flatterers or cheats] would come together as friends, even though casual contacts may continue to exist.

[EighteenNinetyOne]

Thanks

I'm gonna try these next time I have a chance

Not all of them. Theres rather a-many. But most of them!

[IAMWILL]

It's CAPITALIZED?!?!!!???!?!! somehow I don't believe this is you Steph.....
Jk nice thread.

[Oblivion]

It's CAPITALIZED?!?!!!???!?!! somehow I don't believe this is you Steph.....
Jk nice thread.

He does his stickies in word, which auto capitalizes :P

[IAMWILL]

He does his stickies in word, which auto capitalizes :P

Haha of course, I knew it couldn't be all him. :P It still is a good guide though :)

[Specter]

Sweet guide I’m sure a lot of people will put it to use including myself.

Thanks Again!

[CestDan]

Completely agree!!!!! I think is such a great guide for every one!!!!

[bagel]

What are you supposed to do if you're too shy to approach people and start talking to them and don't know what to say? D=

[Aneklusmos]

Well think of it this way. Whats the worse that can happen? Momentary awkwardness, but everybody forgets it soon enough. just get out there, and make contact with good people. Clubs are my favorite treatment for people who want friends. They always have people who are interesting. just sit down with someone and say hi to them

[bagel]

I naturally don't talk a lot so it can pretty awkward. People think I don't like them or something just because I'm not a chatterbox. It's hard to force yourself to talk when you don't normally.

[Aneklusmos]

If you don't want to talk, try being a good listener instead. People love someone who will listen to them

[Blofeld]

I don't talk much , In school , I am real shy and I do want to make more friends but just to shy to ask people.....

[gone]

lol I have no idea how I made friends lol they just happened :P

[Dak Skyhopper]

What if you are extremely shy and introverted, like me?

[FunnyHaHa]

yeahh its always tough to make friends when youre shy... I have that same problem

[clovermcm]

This is great; I'm starting High School in a new town in Sept, so I'll keep these in mind.

[jakob oliver]

thx it helped

[hotguy]

awww i remember my first friends

[Jess]

if only I was more confident

[jupiterpitter]

Friend are the best thing of our life ,we are not making friend , friend just make suddenly it depend on your nature and the way of speech how we speak and language tone.

[UnknownError]

It was easier to make friends when you were 5.

Thats why I still have the same bunch of shittey mates. :rolleyes:

[what guy]

i totally blew it with this one girl, whom i like, was in one of my classes and is now in two of them, i dont know what happened, i asked how her day went and plans for the weekend, but for some reason, she just stopped talking to me

[Cjg1075]

^ same for me we planed for a movie then the next day she refused to talk or text me

[Theatheist of doom]

Personally I don't understand why somone needs a guide to making friends, but otherwise nice guide :D

[AidanM16]

I find it awfully difficult to make friends as I lack in confidence. I have had a few friends over the years but I just can't get them to stick, I think it's down to me for being to picky.

[Spencer2013]

see my problem is i have a lot of friends but no "best friend" since 7th grade. i know a lot of people in my high school but none deeply. I rarely get invited to go over peoples houses and have only been to one or two sleepovers. Ii'd like to have a best friend but i dont know how to get close with someone. I guess you could say tell them something personal, but i dont want to unload my issues on them, and in general school is no the best time to have a serious conversation. I talked to a friend about this on facebook. we both agreed that high school friendships tend to be shallow and said we wanted to be tighter friends, but nothing has happened or changed. id really like to make a lasting best friend; help!

[Andrewa]

i tryd that and ppl kept laughing at me i have no freinds at school i go too cub scouts and im the oldest their

[percyholl]

If you want to be make fiends than there is a different sources where you can make friends, now a days social networking sites are very famous for making friends so you an use it.

[TheUselessAndUnwantd]

see, im like the school pariah, troglodyte, and social outcast, walking up to people i odnt know in school isnt exactly a good idea for me, people usually write me off the second i open my mouth. thats why i use facebook for most of my interactions. now theres a girl that iv had my eye on for some time, i wanna talk to her, get to know her, be here friend and hopefully later in life, more then that, BUT. she can be a total bitch i heard, she finially got a facebook page and i added her, but eveytime i go to talk to her, i freeze up, and i cant type shit, i need some help on what to say without comming across as creepy, comming across as creepy can be rather easy on the internet, but thats where i get the most confidence, any suggestions anyone?

[User Deleted]

It was easier to make friends when you were 5.

Thats why I still have the same bunch of shittey mates. :rolleyes:

Lol, same here. Although it is nice to meet someone every now and then.

[level_up]

this is actually pretty good advice :)

[joshtheguitard]

It was easier for me to make friends when I was a cute five-year-old. Now I'm big and ugly with a few big-and-ugly friends. :D

[DirtyDog78]

for me being alone is good. Many people annoy me in many ways:
-Bragging
-Making fun of Something
-Repeating what You Say
-People who think they are better than you. HATE THOSE PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY'RE MORE!!!! :pop2:
-When you are talking and they interrupt you to say something about themselver that makes you feel bad :cry:
.....
The list goes on. Is it good to be like that??

Add me so we can chat. Ask me anything :)

[altafhussain198]

I am surprised my boyfriend Altaf gift me a girls bedding (http://www.kidsbeddingdreams.com/girls-bedding/cid-17/) in valentine.I don't think it's a perfect gift for valentine I didn't talk to him any one have idea what I do?

[plebble]

People at school treat me like people treat Meg on Family Guy, so making friends would be quite difficult for me

[Upgrade_U]

great advise

[momo....]

tnks

[WearAngels]

I admit, i don't have a lot of friends and i am looking forward that i'll be soon have a lot of friends without any great effort. Well, this post equivalents a good info that will keep the reader be informative regarding the matter.

[Enmant]

Every one have a fried and this forum is good top,Friend help the toff time,A friend should have everyone.this is good relationship for between two person,A friend make a good time produce the any times,

[kambina]

Every person should make a friend because,A friend help the ever work and ideas ,A friend provide the good time, this forum topic is very good and likes me,Friend are the best thing of our life ,we are not making friend.
Ohio Medicare Insurance Plans (http://www.ohiomedigapinsurance.com/)

[Sonic Boom]

The guide is good for people who are not yet confident, but are actually already able to hold decent/appealing conversation. They just don't realize this yet.

Now I've tried this already; been myself (it doesn't work for me); been polite; meeting a lot of people; been part of clubs/societies; visited psychologists; psychiatrists; the list goes on.

My question is- must I just accept the fact that I'm not good with making friends and talking to people? Should I live with the cards I have been dealt and not complain? Or is there something I can do that I have not tried yet?

One of my greatest fears is not dying alone...but living alone.

[ColourMeScarred13]

I find it really hard to approach someone, like I would rather spend the whole year sitting next to someone and never talk to them than have to make conversation. I have a best friend, but she's not at my school and yeah I do have friends but sometimes I just feel like an outsider because I'm shy. If I ever go to parties I'll sit in the corner and I'm always last. I make friends by people coming up to me but it just takes me a while to be able to open up - good advice though apart from that <3

[Allanon]

i am a lonewolf

[shahidsaif]

Wonder full tip & helpfull for me and other peoples.

[tubanic]

it's really difficult for me to make friends, never had a meaningful relationship. I just feel I'm too crap for anyone to bother with and too complicated for anyone to understand

[RunnerRunner]

This is perfect. i made my new best friend because i told him if he can play drums and if he liked metalcore music. now im considered his big brother cause we are so close together and i look out for him evn though we've known each other for around 3 weeks.

[crepesuzette]

yeah well i have tried that. i've tried to approach others whenever i can and still these people can be so dull. all they ever talk about are pokemon cards and nintendo DS games. No offense to those who love these games, but I wish there would be something new to talk about once in a while. I know that it's their obsession, but do you suppose they have disorders?

[alvin]

its a good way
wanna be your friend

[HunterBlue]

I've always made friends pretty easy. I've just never had any problems with it and didn't think much if it. But this girl pointed out that I talk to a lot of people. Random people. Strangers.

She thought that was weird and then it hit me, how she complains she never has friends and she's amazed I seem to know everybody.

A huge thing about making fire do is going out ther and being friendly. And talking.

[Croconaw]

I have two friends. I will hopefully make more friends over time.

[Croconaw]

Thanks for the guide! I sometimes have trouble making friends, so this really helped.

[bored4evah]

Helps :)

[justin 13]

Thank you dude this info is awesome. TBH im not good making friends, this helped me a lot.

[PurpleNovel]

Does anybody want to join the chat room! :)

[Body odah Man]

This guide could rlly help me-bad at making friends. Thanks :)

[Dark Unicorn]

Thank you.It'll definitely come in handy.

[Dark Unicorn]

I would like to join the chat room Purple Novel.

[JIntrepid]

put yourself out there. and be confident

[othees]

Find what makes you happy and have people to share it with

[Luminous]

I have tried all of these combined but it does not work...

[othees]

Why not?

[Katelyn6]

My best friend moved away over the summer and I never really had that many friends besides her. Everyone at my school Ive 'known' since first grade and it's weird trying to make friends with them because we have never been friends.

[MaryLee]

Making a friends is really easy you only need to be friendly and be you to get a lot of friends.

[alvin]

How to Make Friends


There's a certain beauty in being a lone wolf (people with no friends). You have more time to do things you want to do, like talk to yourself, play solitaire, write poetry, or try to carry that couch into your new apartment all by yourself. If that's not your bag, though, there are literally billions of potential friends in the world. What's more, many of these people want to make friends just as much as you do. So just follow these steps to meet new people and form strong, lasting friendships.


Steps:

Get out and meet people! If you want to make friends, you first need to meet people. No matter where you live, this should be fairly easy. Just in case you're stumped, here are just a few suggestions.

- If you're in school or work and have a lot of co-workers and peers, you're surrounded by potential friends for a large portion of your day. A way to make a friend is to not be shy; go up to that person ask questions, like "what is your name?" "Are you on a team?" Act friendly and be honest and trustworthy.
- Join a club with people of common interests. You don't necessarily have to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them--in fact, some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have much in common at all--but if you have something in common with people, it can make it a lot easier to talk to them and plan activities initially. Whatever your age and whatever your interests, there is a club or organization for you.
- Join a team. Especially if you're in school, joining a sports team can be great way to make friends. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team, or if you're in elementary school just join a sport or do drama with your friend . As long as you enjoy the sport or other activities, try your best, and acknowledge that you're not a pro, your teammates will usually be more than happy to accept you for who you are.
- Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, you could maybe even join girl scouts, or cub scouts because you'll be doing charity work and also making friends that way, the fact that you're devoting your time to something free of charge shows that you're compassionate and unselfish, two traits of good friends.
- Get online. In general, the internet isn't a great place to make real friends, the kind who will be there for you when you really need them. Never use the internet to meet some one you now will consider your "best friend". You don't know this person and making them your best friend will not do anything good in your life. If you live in a really isolated place, the internet can also help you find other people around the world that share your interests.


Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church, and you still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people. By the same token, you don't have to be involved with an organization to talk to people, and any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the person in front of you on the lunch line. Don't be picky. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts, in that you may never talk to that person again or you'll just remain acquaintances, but once in a while you'll actually make a friend.

- Introduce yourself early in the conversation. Your name doesn't necessarily need to be the first thing out of your mouth, but if you're looking to make friends, knowing each other's names is a good start. Once you introduce yourself, the other person will typically do the same. Remember his or her name, and use it later in the conversation.
- Make small talk. Friends can talk about just about anything, but you don't want to get too personal when you first meet someone. Just make good, inoffensive small talk at first.
- Open up the opportunity for another meeting. When you meet someone whom you think might make a good friend, try to exchange contact information. This is especially important if you meet someone who you aren't otherwise likely to meet again. Seize the day!

- If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others, in a club, for example, to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. If you have a club, band, church, etc. that you think they might enjoy take the opportunity to give them your number or email address and invite them to join you.
- If you're new in town or at school and are just looking to meet people, don't be afraid to mention this. People are often excited about meeting new people, showing them around, and introducing them to their friends.


Be fun to be around. You don't have to be a superstar to be fun. You don't even have to do cartwheels. You do need to be positive and friendly, however, so that people feel good when they're around you. From the very first conversation you have with someone, you should use body language to convey that you are affable, non-threatening, and approachable. Smile frequently, laugh often, and make eye contact. In your words, be confident, but don't be cocky, condescending, or mean-spirited.


Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend material" they have to appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you're interested in others. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. People love to talk about themselves, and the easiest way to be likeable is to listen. You don't want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation. These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends.


Be reliable. The steps above are great for making acquaintances, but how do acquaintances become lifelong friends? One important trait of a good friend is reliability. When you say you'll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on.


Be trustworthy. One of the best things about having a friend is that you have someone to whom you can talk about anything, even secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. The key to being a good confidante is the ability to keep secrets, so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people things that were told to you in confidence. Before people even feel comfortable opening up to you, however, you need to build trust. Be honest about yourself and your beliefs, and don't gossip about others or spread rumors.


Be there. You've probably heard of fair-weather friends. They're the ones who are happy to be around you when things are going well, but are nowhere to be found when you really need them. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and energy in order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on, be there.


Be true to yourself. A good friend sometimes does things he or she doesn't want to do, such as helping a friend move or going to see a band that you don't really like, but you should never feel pressured to do something you think is wrong. Stay true to your convictions and beliefs, and if this causes you to lose some friends, you're better off without them. You'll also find that your integrity may help you win a lot of other friends, and if you just be yourself you'll make friends who like you for who you are.


Tips
- Accept everyone for who they are and never bring anyone down or try to change someone (especially if they've done nothing to hurt or offend you). This communicates insecurity. If you don't get along with someone, try avoidance instead of creating a rivalry.
- Always trust your gut feelings about people. If you feel someone (as nice as they may seem) is not the right person to make friends with, then move along.
- Don't be clingy or annoying. Over-obsessing over someone makes you seem weird and strange, not friendly.
- You never want to seem desperate. Don't chide acquaintances for failing to invite you to a party, for example; don't call someone over and over or stop by uninvited; and never overstay your welcome anywhere. In general, take friendship slowly, and don't try to become close to somebody right away. The move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time, and if you appear too clingy, potential friends may think you're too much work.
- Keep the lines of communication open. Lasting friendships don't just happen. They require work, especially if one friend moves away for an extended period or for good. Even if you don't get to see a friend, you should try to call or email him or her regularly just to check in and say "hi." With any luck, they'll do the same. It's easy to lose friends to distance, but it isn't necessary.
- It's easier to be yourself than to be someone who you are not because the only reason true friends want to be friends with you is because of your personality. But if you decide to act a certain way around people, nobody will know who you really are.


Warnings
- Don't try to change yourself in order to fit in to make new friends. If you have to change yourself to be with a group of people then they are not worth being friends with.
- Remember, never leave old friends because you like someone else more. This is a big, bad mistake. It's great to have different groups of friends, but if you abandon one group for another, you may soon find yourself without any friends at all.
- Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right. If one of your friends is doing something that you know is wrong, confront them. If you're a friend, you won't let them do the wrong thing.
- Be careful about getting together with people that you meet online. They might not be who they say they are.
- Don't try to buy friends by giving people gifts or money. While it's nice to give a friend a gift sometimes, if you go overboard it's creepy. A person who will "be your friend" because you buy him or her things probably just likes things, not you.
- It is good to identify your own aims and objectives in life so that genuine and honest friends with common interests [not flatterers or cheats] would come together as friends, even though casual contacts may continue to exist.

its good

[hercules7]

Great advise Thank you

[SecretlyKnown]

This would help a lot if I was confident.

[AlexOnToast]

Good advice :) I know I'l be directing a few people to this

[backjruton]

I just make friends by being myself :) and it's obvious to people in college and when I was in school that I'm not a good listener :p

[Nick M]

I've always been a lone wolf. I just enjoy doing things myself because I get to do it my way and no one else can interfere. But I get lonely a lot lol
That's why I'm here on VT, to meet nice people since everyone in Boca Raton(my city) are spoiled brats that think they are king of the world lol.

[Ben101]

In my opinion, you cannot just go and 'make friends', You just have to wait until the right person comes along. I knew my best friend from being sat next to him in school. Wasnt pleased at first as he looked like a boring git. But ive never had a friend as great as him, and probably never will

[tyrfr]

this is great

[Kurgg2]

Tips to make friends at school, when I have (self-diagnosed) Asperger, and everyone I know probably dislikes me?

[NeuroTiger]

Awesome advice ;)
VT is certainly full of potential friends...;)

[asrlem]

Super useful. Here is the problem. My friends nvr answer their phones and so i find myself biking tO their house and ringing the doorbell.

[cheskamint13]

Thanks for the advice! Well, just be yourself.

[Brit4love]

This is an awesome guide

[headhunterbg]

First of all - I am really shy and I never succeed to relax in crowded places like school. I talk with others only if they start the conversation first or if it's important. I've tried to change this, I've been telling myself that everything will be ok and I should go talk with someone, but it just doesn't work. For some reason, I always talk quiet and I often need to repeat so I can be understood. I usually don't make eye contact with people, because its making me feel uncomfortable. I try to be friendly and look more relaxed than I actually am, but the fact that I still don't have friends shows that it's not working.
In my current school I don't have many opportunities to make friends, because its like 90% occupied by idiots, that I don't see myself a friend with. Next year I'm going in another school and I'd say I feel kinda confident, that I can be at least a little more different there, make a good first impression and maybe make friends. But only time will show if that will happen.
My question is - Do I still need to try to change or I should just be myself and wait for the right people?

[Spooky_Eli]

Every person should make a friend because,A friend help the ever work and ideas ,A friend provide the good time, this forum topic is very good and likes me,Friend are the best thing of our life ,we are not making friend.
Ohio Medicare Insurance Plans (http://www.ohiomedigapinsurance.com/)
A:good advice(i think?). B:Medicare is evil.

[wallflower101]

I've always had trouble making friends. I've realized it only take one small action to change everything. My first friend I ever made which was 8th grade, I just walked up to her and asked if she wanted to see a movie with me. Within a month I had a whole group of friends and I didn't feel lonely anymore.

[VirtUalAwsomeD4N_]

I remember the first friend that I ever made we are still friends today

[Cali_Dreamer_Girl]

I don't have many close friends. I am quiet and not that outgoing. I am also happy without having a whole bunch of friends.

[Will..]

How to Make Friends


There's a certain beauty in being a lone wolf (people with no friends). You have more time to do things you want to do, like talk to yourself, play solitaire, write poetry, or try to carry that couch into your new apartment all by yourself. If that's not your bag, though, there are literally billions of potential friends in the world. What's more, many of these people want to make friends just as much as you do. So just follow these steps to meet new people and form strong, lasting friendships.


Steps:

Get out and meet people! If you want to make friends, you first need to meet people. No matter where you live, this should be fairly easy. Just in case you're stumped, here are just a few suggestions.

- If you're in school or work and have a lot of co-workers and peers, you're surrounded by potential friends for a large portion of your day. A way to make a friend is to not be shy; go up to that person ask questions, like "what is your name?" "Are you on a team?" Act friendly and be honest and trustworthy.
- Join a club with people of common interests. You don't necessarily have to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them--in fact, some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have much in common at all--but if you have something in common with people, it can make it a lot easier to talk to them and plan activities initially. Whatever your age and whatever your interests, there is a club or organization for you.
- Join a team. Especially if you're in school, joining a sports team can be great way to make friends. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team, or if you're in elementary school just join a sport or do drama with your friend . As long as you enjoy the sport or other activities, try your best, and acknowledge that you're not a pro, your teammates will usually be more than happy to accept you for who you are.
- Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, you could maybe even join girl scouts, or cub scouts because you'll be doing charity work and also making friends that way, the fact that you're devoting your time to something free of charge shows that you're compassionate and unselfish, two traits of good friends.
- Get online. In general, the internet isn't a great place to make real friends, the kind who will be there for you when you really need them. Never use the internet to meet some one you now will consider your "best friend". You don't know this person and making them your best friend will not do anything good in your life. If you live in a really isolated place, the internet can also help you find other people around the world that share your interests.


Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church, and you still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people. By the same token, you don't have to be involved with an organization to talk to people, and any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the person in front of you on the lunch line. Don't be picky. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts, in that you may never talk to that person again or you'll just remain acquaintances, but once in a while you'll actually make a friend.

- Introduce yourself early in the conversation. Your name doesn't necessarily need to be the first thing out of your mouth, but if you're looking to make friends, knowing each other's names is a good start. Once you introduce yourself, the other person will typically do the same. Remember his or her name, and use it later in the conversation.
- Make small talk. Friends can talk about just about anything, but you don't want to get too personal when you first meet someone. Just make good, inoffensive small talk at first.
- Open up the opportunity for another meeting. When you meet someone whom you think might make a good friend, try to exchange contact information. This is especially important if you meet someone who you aren't otherwise likely to meet again. Seize the day!

- If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others, in a club, for example, to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. If you have a club, band, church, etc. that you think they might enjoy take the opportunity to give them your number or email address and invite them to join you.
- If you're new in town or at school and are just looking to meet people, don't be afraid to mention this. People are often excited about meeting new people, showing them around, and introducing them to their friends.


Be fun to be around. You don't have to be a superstar to be fun. You don't even have to do cartwheels. You do need to be positive and friendly, however, so that people feel good when they're around you. From the very first conversation you have with someone, you should use body language to convey that you are affable, non-threatening, and approachable. Smile frequently, laugh often, and make eye contact. In your words, be confident, but don't be cocky, condescending, or mean-spirited.


Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend material" they have to appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you're interested in others. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. People love to talk about themselves, and the easiest way to be likeable is to listen. You don't want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation. These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends.


Be reliable. The steps above are great for making acquaintances, but how do acquaintances become lifelong friends? One important trait of a good friend is reliability. When you say you'll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on.


Be trustworthy. One of the best things about having a friend is that you have someone to whom you can talk about anything, even secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. The key to being a good confidante is the ability to keep secrets, so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people things that were told to you in confidence. Before people even feel comfortable opening up to you, however, you need to build trust. Be honest about yourself and your beliefs, and don't gossip about others or spread rumors.


Be there. You've probably heard of fair-weather friends. They're the ones who are happy to be around you when things are going well, but are nowhere to be found when you really need them. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and energy in order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on, be there.


Be true to yourself. A good friend sometimes does things he or she doesn't want to do, such as helping a friend move or going to see a band that you don't really like, but you should never feel pressured to do something you think is wrong. Stay true to your convictions and beliefs, and if this causes you to lose some friends, you're better off without them. You'll also find that your integrity may help you win a lot of other friends, and if you just be yourself you'll make friends who like you for who you are.


Tips
- Accept everyone for who they are and never bring anyone down or try to change someone (especially if they've done nothing to hurt or offend you). This communicates insecurity. If you don't get along with someone, try avoidance instead of creating a rivalry.
- Always trust your gut feelings about people. If you feel someone (as nice as they may seem) is not the right person to make friends with, then move along.
- Don't be clingy or annoying. Over-obsessing over someone makes you seem weird and strange, not friendly.
- You never want to seem desperate. Don't chide acquaintances for failing to invite you to a party, for example; don't call someone over and over or stop by uninvited; and never overstay your welcome anywhere. In general, take friendship slowly, and don't try to become close to somebody right away. The move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time, and if you appear too clingy, potential friends may think you're too much work.
- Keep the lines of communication open. Lasting friendships don't just happen. They require work, especially if one friend moves away for an extended period or for good. Even if you don't get to see a friend, you should try to call or email him or her regularly just to check in and say "hi." With any luck, they'll do the same. It's easy to lose friends to distance, but it isn't necessary.
- It's easier to be yourself than to be someone who you are not because the only reason true friends want to be friends with you is because of your personality. But if you decide to act a certain way around people, nobody will know who you really are.


Warnings
- Don't try to change yourself in order to fit in to make new friends. If you have to change yourself to be with a group of people then they are not worth being friends with.
- Remember, never leave old friends because you like someone else more. This is a big, bad mistake. It's great to have different groups of friends, but if you abandon one group for another, you may soon find yourself without any friends at all.
- Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right. If one of your friends is doing something that you know is wrong, confront them. If you're a friend, you won't let them do the wrong thing.
- Be careful about getting together with people that you meet online. They might not be who they say they are.
- Don't try to buy friends by giving people gifts or money. While it's nice to give a friend a gift sometimes, if you go overboard it's creepy. A person who will "be your friend" because you buy him or her things probably just likes things, not you.
- It is good to identify your own aims and objectives in life so that genuine and honest friends with common interests [not flatterers or cheats] would come together as friends, even though casual contacts may continue to exist.

thank you